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How To Talk to Girls Ultimate Guide

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As a guy, learning how to talk to girls can be a challenging experience or it can be an enjoyable one. Would you agree that being able to carry a proper conversation with a girl would solve a LOT of problems ?

I know many guys agree that this is one of the most neglected aspects when it comes to dating advice, and yet, it is so critical to succeed!

One of the biggest issues among men that are struggling with women is that they “Just don’t know what to talk about!”.

I feel you.

I’ve had that awkward silence too.

The moment where something SHOULD of been said, but it was not.
The moment where you both kind of look at each other and think… “ok this is not good”

When this happens, women will often think: “We just don’t connect” and it’s at that point that the date goes downhill.

guy talking to girl

Actually, that’s probably one of the biggest fear that men have and it’s the reason why a lot of guys won’t even go start a conversation!

The Ideal Topic of Conversation

The reason is that most people try to figure out the “ideal topic of conversation” beforehand. As if, if you were to introduce this ideal topic, you would both have a wonderful time talking about it for hours and hours and eventually the woman would fall in love with you, just because you had the right topic of conversation.

Sound silly?

That’s because it is.

Yet people STILL try to find that ideal conversation topic!

So do yourself a favor, do ME a favor, stop it and just start off with any conversation topic. Usually bad ones will do, and as the conversation progresses, you can steer the conversation to any topics you wish to discuss. From there, we have you covered when it comes to making every conversation memorable.

guy-girl-talk

Alright, because we all like to be spoon fed information, I’ll break it down even more.

Pick Any Topic

I realize that saying “Any Topic Will Do” will not help most guys because you’re probably still wondering.. “OK, but what do I talk about?” Well start by things that are relevant to you first.

It’s really hard to be relevant to other people, and people with high value tend to think of themselves anyways, so STARTING with a topic that is relevant in your life is always a great way to start a conversation. At the same time, it will sub-consciously convey values of self-worth and confidence which are both attractive.

For example, if you’re on your way to go grocery shopping, start with that!

Example of how to talk to girls

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  • Anupam

    Awesome Tips,it really boosted a confidence in myself coz i’ve been suffering from same problem for a gr8 time.thanks Chris,really thanks…

  • KewlDood

    that didn’t work for me srry

  • Mike lutton

    help i need help talking to a girl any girl or anyone i go talk to someone then cant figure out what to say or talk about and it drives me crazy.i mean i like hang out with friends n such i go talk about something then i stop try so hard talk to a girl it actually gives me headaches please help me thanks

  • Mike

    I have some suggestions for the people that need a tad bit of help. Girls don’t really wanted to be treated very differently,if anything they will find that sexist,treat them as you would a good friend,be yourself, hiding the truth won’t help;it would come out eventually. Now,when I say be yourself,of course there are some rules on this subject…. Don’t go all out saying perverted jokes or make fun of them, unless you know 100% that they won’t mind it. Act a tad bit more…gentleman like,but not too much because it is very noticeable.. Now I don’t have much time so that’s all I can post. If it didn’t help you then I’m sorry, this method of actually treating them like humans the same species actually works quite well. Best of luck to you all!

  • RevRogue

    You probally won’t ever see the woman/girl again if she does not give you her information, so just tell yourself that and go for it. I mean, what do you have to lose or risk if you just go up to someone you’ll never see again if they reject you? And atleast you’ll learn what not to do for the next time. Count to 5 while building confidence in yourself and once you hit 5, GO! Don’t hold back. Take a deep breathe in, then breathe out as you get to her, and start your conversation.
    “I was just going out for a job and then I seen you. I have some work to get done but I would like to see you again, is that alright?” and if she says “Uh, sure.” or any variation of “Yes” then just say “Do you have an Email Address by chance?” and if she says yes, take it, look at it for just a moment and then look at her and smile[if you want] and say “Well, I will be on my way then. Talk to you later.” and keep walking. If she doesn’t have an email, ask her if she wants yours. If nothing works and she just rejects you, just say “Well it was nice meeting you. Have a nice day.” and walk away. GOODLUCK!

  • Mike

    Thanks i’ll try it as soon as possible

  • Finn

    Guys, if it’s hard for you to talk to girls in person then start off in a more easier way. Join a social network that provides live chat that the girl you want to talk to uses(I’d recommend facebook or msn) whenever she’s on try and talk to her. If she’s rejecting you talking to her then ditch talking to her. It isn’t worth it talking to an asshole. If she’s becoming interested on the chat. Then keep going. Eventually you and her will be comfortable to meet at school or after school to hang out. Problem solved ;-)

  • Matt

    hey i need help, my confidence with girls is pretty bad, i cant even keep a conversation going for more than a few minutes, i really need help on boosting my self confidence, ever time i speak to a good looking girl, i either freeze up or say the wrong things which gives them a bad impression, i would appreciate some advice, thanks

    • Jake

      Matt just be yourself and don’t be afraid and stay calm

    • Anne

      hey, we’re just people too. and sometimes we get just as nervous as you! try to find out what the girl is interested in. maybe throw a few compliments, but don’t be creepy about it (like maybe say “your hair looks great” or something…wow, that was generic…). talk about neutral subjects or their own life, and sometimes share a little about yourself. Just try to relax, like it’s no big deal. don’t try TOO hard, but don’t act like you don’t care either.
      I hoped I helped, if only a little!

  • Mohammed El H

    I support the idea of been youself only, treat girls just like a frineds, tell the jokes, discuss issues, remember moments and things will go right. They will laugh and enjoy your company snd henceforth and slowly you can drive them to the track that you want. Don’t start directly with your target(i want to be your friend) because that might turn them off you

  • Matt

    thanks, i took your advise and went for it, were talking abit now, i walk to school the same way as her so that helps with the talking, thanks again :)

  • Andrew

    Talk just about what you her ask questions and strange ones and remember to listen and build off of that. Don’t plan improvise in chess you never plan how the game will end when you start the game if plan how it will end in the start you will always lose. Talking is not planned it is exspressing your thoughts and opinions and your thoughts of her ideas and opinions. you can never plan for everything.

  • Matt

    ok thanks i’ll remember that, anyway this guy was coming onto a girl i like at school and making her feel uncomfortable, and when she tried to leave him and his mates wouldnt let her, so i had a great idea, i went over to them and confronted the douch, haha he dared me to fight him so i punched him strate in the face, which of course made his mates lunge for me, but by that time all my mates and other guys i know had jumped in and we started being the crap out of them, and now she thinks im a great guy, haha sometimes violence is the answer X D

  • M

    im a girl who happened to stumble upon this website haha and i agree with all the advice given.
    just be calm and be yourself because we know when you’re putting on an act and its just a turn off really.. it always helps to break the ice with a joke and even light flirting once you get to know her, but the main thing to remember is BE FRIENDLY and that should do the trick :)

  • Joseph E.

    Well I’m in Highschool and I’d like to talk to this girl in my math class so what do I say?
    Or if I see a pretty girl whats the first thing I should say, does complementing her help?

  • harry

    i have no game what so ever. for example i was at a friends party the other night and this girl i had recently met a few weeks ago we have hung out at party’s and at a mutual friends house at least once a week. we were at the party the other night and i had bought her a bottle of wine which is what she typically drinks she was as happy as could be she was upstairs and i was down stairs she came down got in my face and told me to follow her we started to go up stairs she grabbed my hand and lead me around the hole party and took me where it was quiet to talk and i froze i didnt say a word. she left me there then 30 minutes letter were hugging and touching while she poors her heart out about her ex of three years and ask me for advice i told her to ignore i as well just got out of the same situation. shortly after this me and my friend who is like a brother to her were sitting by the dance floor she comes up and starts grinding on me i didnt know what to do i looked at him and he told me to do this and that but thats not me she was kissing my ear and neck and once again i froze how do i get past the freezing point i really like this girl we have a lot in common but im afraid to talk about it please help.

  • chris

    I dont realy need help talking to girls its just this 1 girl every time she steps in the room my confidence leaves

    • wyldestarh

      lol, i would be that kinda ass that would call her by a name that we both know isnt right…might help you pretend that she is someone else long enough so that you get str8 with your game again

  • dan

    I know how to talk to girls but only in environments where we are introduced, i was wondering how to correctly approach girls and “get the digits”

  • semo

    something about girls!!! girls don’t care if they are going to lose u or not …but guys do …don’t ever make a girl feel that u whan her so bad just act that u don’t care too…because girls think that could find better then u …and u.. don’t just think she the only one because u not looking around u…u just look at her ..so take a look u well find better then her truth me on that…good luck guys :)

  • Dreamer Boy

    Thank You for the Information. Certain Girls make me nervous as well, I truly think I can ask with no problems until the time comes. That’s when I back down…

  • Cj

    I’m a student who has a lot of friends, but I do not know many girls whatsoever. I know my problem is I can not talk to girls that well because i cant keep the conversation going and i have no self confidence at all to just walk up and start talking. There’s girls i see in class who i would like to start talking to… but its like, I cant walk up and talk to them. I’ve read the above, but anything to add that will help me?

  • Richard

    Good post, there are no perfect conversations. In fact, talking about what interests you and asking her what interests her will usually lead the conversation. Simple and effective.

  • Cj

    Thanks a lot for that advice, seems very basic but it would work.

  • Tom

    I love the bit right at the top of the page where it says: “How to attract stunningly beautiful women even if you arent rich…” Do people really believe that stunningly beautiful women are all so shallow that they will only go out with rich men?

  • sergio

    Hey guys, one thing to do is let them do the talking just listen. All girls are self-centered to a certain degree they all love talking about themselves. They will think you’re a good listener if you just ask questions and joke around with them. Trust me, I couldn’t talk to girls for my life. But an older friend told me this now I have girls calling me up and just hanging out all the time, and they are beautiful girls. Try it, if doesn’t work there are plenty of girls don’t get stuck on one. I wasted 4 years my life chasing 1 girl, just relax and let them do the work.

  • Simon

    good tips man.hope i can use them and execute smoothly

  • Matt

    In my school its a girl a very beautiful girl….and i dont know how to talk to her,i cant talk to her beacuse i think she will leave or maybe kind of refuse me.I just look at her but i caught her looking too at me, so i think we both just ….look each other and none of us speaks!!!!
    please what should i do guys?????

  • K

    Help! Im what you would call “socially awkward” around girls. I have a few friends that are girls and they’re trying to help me, but every time Im around a girl I don’t know, I get really awkward. Im kind of the “smart kid.” You know, where you can find a way around a math book but can’t say something to a girl to save your life. Plz help!

  • Anonymous

    A girl asked me out last week but i was confused what to say so i said “I dont know”. Now i want to really get to know her and be good friends. I am too afraid to approach her because im not good with girls. Please help me Chris.

  • ummm…

    Heres some advice for all of you who are… desperate or whatever. i have a crush, and i told her like a month ago about my feelings for her. now, we had been friends for 6 months and when i told her how i felt, she didnt feel the same. however, after texting and talking 2 her for 3 or so weeks, she told me she had feelings 4 me too. morals: 1) if you say you have feelings 4 them, its not the end of the world. its quite easy to get over.

  • ummm…

    oh and 2) keep the conversations lite, i found saying “hows life/your love life?” works extremely well for those awkward silences just dont overdo it. hi works as a great convo starter too. and 3) be persistent… but being annoyingly persistent is a huge turn off, so dont overdo it. hope i help. good luck all. 1 more thing. dont be serious; have fun, relax. whats the point of a crush if you cant have some fun!

  • el duderino

    its simple:
    1) ask questions and listen
    2) make her laugh
    THATS ALL!! I mean everyone sees the beautiful girl who could be hanging out with the ladies man of the school but is with the biggest douchebag ever n ur like WTF!? Just make ‘em laugh and they’ll like ya.

  • fred

    Help. im usually shy around girls and i always think the girl probably might not be interested in me, which drops my confidence way down. any advice to help me boost my confidence. thanks

  • Phillips

    The problem is she ignores it even looks like she has no interest for me
    When she’s around me she always look sad
    When I do some thing for her she doesn’t say thank you or even look at me
    Do you think she likes me or hates me

  • Bolo

    Confidence comes with success. Keep going out there and talking to women. After a while you’ll grow use to what can make girls laugh and become interested.

  • pigeonata

    This answered my question perfectly. thanks Google and thanks Chris Calo.

  • conrad

    just be kind around girls. thats what i do and everything turns out fine. it took a while but girls now seem to like me more and like polite guys that are understanding and thats how i try to be

  • Dylan

    im afraid to call the girl i like and she also has a like in me, but im unusure that if i call her i will become boring because its HER, you know. I already drove around with her one evening, we barely talked, lol, i only looked at her a few times in the eyes but that was it, i feel like i shoulda did more, but then again i was after all driving so most of my attention was on that, but if i dont call her soon she might give up on me so i will call her, there’s no other way.

  • ilikegirlz

    There’s a girl i really like and I’m pretty sure she likes me too she even tried talking to me once but i didn’t have a clue what to say i just cant talk to girls, help!

  • Steven

    I don’t know what it is a lot of girls like me and I can tell I just cant keep a conversation going when I’m talking to them. I really think this is going to help. Thank you!

  • TheNutMan

    drink alcohol….best way to talk without a care…remember the topics then progress on them when u are sober next time u see them

  • Anonymous

    Hahaha, I’m with thenutman^^^

    Alcohol is called the social lubricant for a reason, just use in moderation…
    I am not the most handsome guy in the world, but I met a beautiful girl at a party a while back and we both had a LITTLE bit to drink, and it didn’t matter what guy was trying to hit on her (which was a lot), I was the only one she had any interest in. Unfortunately I’m away for the summer, but we still talk all the time, and things will heat up in the fall. If y’all are in school, ask her about that, what she’s studying, and then you relate… eventually she’ll ask you what you study and boom, there’s at least one solid hour of conversation. People that have spoken previously are right, talk to her as if she was one of the guys (obviously there are still places you don’t go, at least at first) and the conversation will flow, and it is like a fire, it starts in one place and spreads… after a while, you can talk about anything… jay leno, skydiving, myspace, Italy… wherever the two of you lead it. All you’ve got to do is prove that you’re the one guy around that she’ll want to talk to. Or as Mystery would say, “it’s all about the DHVs” or demonstrations of higher value. but yeah, don’t forget the social lubricant… it helps lol. wow I typed a lot.

  • t-man

    Don’t be shy talking to a girl i lost a girl which i knew and we both liked each other and i was so shy to ask her out because i was scared of a no she ended up going out with another man. So please don’t be shy or you’ll be like me!

  • Mark

    i agree somewhat but what is even more important is great body language and second to that how you use your voice.

  • Devon

    I like this girl but she happens to be my best friend’s little sister. He gets a little protective but he thinks she has a crush on me so he lightened up a little. Plus she made a promise to herself that she won’t have a crush on someone she’s known for more than three years, I guess it’s because usually if you’ve known someone that long they’re probably a good friend. But we haven’t really talked in six years because they moved but I really like her and I dont want to ruin our friendship by telling her

  • Just some guy

    Confidence is key learnt that the hard way,

    what might i add is wrong with House ????

  • Devon

    what???

  • Rish

    Some good points, but i find asking girls about their lives first works well, and keep asking about their friends, family, hobbies and interest’s, work or studies. people love talking about themselves so let them and listen. The information that you can gain from them boasting about themselves is critical to playing the dating game and know as much as you can about the girl first is always an advantage. But if you don’t know the girl or her friends (Random Girl) Compliment her on what she is wearing, or her hair etc girls love compliments as we all do. Most importantly, make eye contact, Smile and laugh and when you get her phone number, GET OUT OF THERE A.S.A.P you have achieved your goal so don’t blow it. If you’re scared of rejection try getting girls you don’t know. Yse them as practice if it doesn’t work, they don’t know you so it won’t be awkward if you see them again like girls you do know. Learn from mistakes and don’t be scared to try. Remember Eye,contact, Smile, And ask questions like, Work. What do you do…etc What does that involve and do you enjoy it. What are your plans for the weekend and say sounds like fun. Who know she might ask you out.

  • samos08

    I don’t have a problem as far as looks go, but I suck when it comes to talking to girls. A couple days ago i was talking to this girl and she talked alot and i asked questions, but when she finished talking i froze up. I don’t know what to say. And i have really shy personality. What do i do?

  • danial

    You must be ready to change your behavior, your way of thinking and, for the coach not to be successful. I ask difficult questions and give homework and it is only if you really are investing in yourself as love can be one result. If you are open, then it can be miracles:)

  • kishore

    i daily look few of my class girls,but i am unable to get connected with them .i generally unable to decide what to start with and they walk away.
    so please give me a solution.
    thanks

  • Jordan

    Thanks for the tips. I used to be shy and had no self confidence. I actually told the girl that i’m not good at this kinda thing and she responded well. I did something that I actually didn’t see myself doing.

  • po

    I tried to talk to girl. I said “Hey, how you doin?” She said “good…i guess”. I said “Im going to get some fruit from the shop to make a fruit pie”. She said “mmmmmmm…sounds yummy” I said “ok”.

  • lok

    i usually have that awkward moment of silence till i usually get asked to take a “stroll” with her and the first time that happened i ended up french kissing with 3 hot bronze girls, i swear it on my life. Remember, “does before bros” unless the situation demands it

  • neal

    Say that you already met a girl for the first time. And you feel that she had made a pass towards you and you were totally clueless on what to do. So you don’t make a move, and don’t say a thing.

    My question is: The next time you see her, how do you go about talking to her without the awkwardness of the first time?

    • Chris Calo

      Hello Neal, if the girl’s made a pass at you then you have the power! Don’t worry about feeling awkward because if anything, she’s more worried than you about it. Instead, go talk to her, find out if she’s someone you’d like to hang out with and just invite her to hang out with you.

      If you are comfortable, then she will be as well !
      Good luck

  • nick

    So, I am not very good at talking to girls, but I am getting better at it, I do the following…

    Whenever you see a girl you like just go, don’t think don’t wait just start walking towards her and go and start a topic, I know this is one of the most hardest things to do but this is the only way that will work.

    You will get better at talking, at first I use to be like,”nice weather” and then just walk away. Now I actually start with anything that I may notice, for example a couple of days ago I saw this girl with some of her friends, she was drinking pepsi, I just went to the group and asked if the pepsi she was drinking OK and I can buy one from the nearby store and not die of poisoning or whatever they laughed and said no and that was that.

    She is sleeping behind me right now. I totally love her.

  • nick

    Of course we talked about other things, but my point is you won’t learn what to say to a girl on a website, you can learn the words, but ultimately, just go out and practice and don’t give up, if rejected.

  • praveen

    i don’t know impress my best girl friend. Please help me!

  • CheeZloader

    Thanks really needed this, you’re a good lad

  • The Emo

    You are so right, I have the worst conversations ever because I’m usually really quiet. I’m super frightened to scare my date away so i avoid talking. But thanks for the tip! helps A lot!

  • joe

    hey, i kind of like this one girl and I”m not afraid to talk to her but she’s always around other people which makes it kinda awkward so when and how should I approach her

  • Anthony S

    hi, at school i have tried to talk to about every girl i like but the fact remains that i am a total loser. not one girl wants to even talk to me. they say my personality is off so i try to change it but nothing works. even when i try to talk to them i just start to lose confidence what can i do?

    • Antonio

      Say hello and then say I’d like to get to no u she will say yes

  • Dan Shunpike

    I thought i always knew that any topic to get started would do, then proceed on deeper into the conversation. Well,now its confirmed! Guys, just don’t think loads, just do more! At least give it a try and see how it goes on, rather than asking oneself questions, so as not to regret later and say: ‘Damn it she had a crush on me and now she’s with that guy! All because i didn’t gather enough courage to ask her out!’.

  • j.m.p

    I’ve never had trouble talking to girls, I grew up with them. But one girl….resisted my charm. I can make her laugh and she flirts with me but some times i forget what to say or when i do have the balls to someone gets in the way. What do i do???

  • nick

    ok so I’m very good looking (not to brag or anything) but many girls look at me in the eyes and i look back. This happens alot and last usually 2-3 sec. I know that’s a good thing but when i talk i can usually keep it going but then towards the end ill ask/say something stupid or freeez up. I also need to know how to use my voice better. Any tips?

  • Rolfindo

    I hate it when I’m talking to a girl and really getting in with the topic but then later on finding out on her facebook page that she’s in a relationship.. happens to me occasionally… It’s funny how girls coming across looking as if they are single when their not :(

  • Evgenie

    thanks a lot this helped me get more close with my gf! Thanks a lot!

  • Anonymous

    Read everything and my confidence is boosted. Lets see if it helps or not. Thanks everyone!! :-)

  • Nick

    Yea I have no problem talking to girls if they start the convo or we’re introduced, but like today I was at the mall, tons of hot chicks, even had 3 of them following me, and I know that’s a perfect sign for me to go talk but I freeze and don’t know what to do. Help!

  • xixi

    i got no game at all with this girl… i dunno what to say at all. we met on the web right, I’ve known her for a while but now we live completely apart and i got no cash.
    what do i do ? can i get her interested in me without facing me in person yet? i got enough money to visit her later, but i gotta get her interested first.

  • Chris Calo

    @nick: Practice, practice, practice. It’s OK if you say something that’s not right. There are no “perfect conversations”, so have fun with them. While we’re on the subject, I have a kick ass newsletter about never running out of things to say.

    I strongly recommend you check it out (just put your email under the article for the coaching)

    @blehh: That’s because you’re trying to compete with them and also because you put on a different personality when you’re around girls. Basically, you don’t want your guy friends to see you flirting with women. The answer?

    Act normal when you’re with your friends, and try to be alone with the girl so you can flirt with her.. in a subtle manner. If your friends are more dominant than you, then this will happen every time until you develop yourself.

    @Rolfindo: If a girl doesn’t tell you she’s in a relationship, then it’s possible that she’s just looking for a way out… and that could be you! It’s usually a good sign.

    @Nick: It’s practice man, the first time is always the hardest and you just need to get used to starting conversations. There’s no easy way to do it… but I do explain some very clever ways in my email coaching.

    @xixi: If you have no game, the girl doesn’t like you and you’re far apart then I hate to say it, but you need to start improving with women by … practicing with women.

    That means face-to-face communication. Once you have an interesting life going, you can keep in contact with her and build attraction. I’d recommend you read Double Your Dating to learn how to build attraction and you should also register for my email coaching program.

    If you do both, you’ll have a MUCH higher chance of succeeding.

  • xixi

    thnx for the advice.

  • Alex

    Hey, I’ve got this problem to I just get very lost when talking to girls, well not to girls but to the girl I like a lot. One huge problem is that she is so untouchable, what I mean she is always around friends and I feel uncomfortable when that happens and just pass her by. She was interested in me before but I was so busy then and it seems like she has lost her interest. Why I’m scared of talking to is that once I talked to this girl and she responded to me in a very mean way which got me very upset. Any Suggestions ?

  • Ryon

    I’m meeting a girl in the weekend but her two friends are coming with her and i have no wing man , I’m going to be the only male there and I’m extremely shy around this girl and i don’t know how to approach the situation.

  • saywankhalid

    I love a girl so I don’t know how to attract her attention to myself? I don’t know how to speak with her? It means I have speaking problem with her?

  • Zack

    Ah. What if a girl comes up to you sloppy drunk. Flirts with you and physically try to man handle you. (And you have no intention of getting with this person). What is the best way to try avoid these situations without hurting the persons feelings.

  • Dustin

    Alright so today I have done something that I have never done before (you will find out later on in the message). I have always had a problem going up to girls and talking to them, I don’t know why but after reading this and everyone elses problems, my confidence was boosted extremely high. And I’m going to attempt to get the guts to go up to a girl I saw today, a dream girl and see how things go. But anyway back to what happened today, I was at a store that I would normally never go in (a western store), come to find out, there are amazingly beautiful girls there. One caught my eye, and I must have caught hers, because everytime I looked down from the top floor she was looking up at me. I just couldn’t get the guts to go talk to her. My cousin offered to be me $20 to go talk to her, so I was like you’re on. As I’m focusing on what I’m going to say while I’m heading down the stairs, my foot slips and I fall down the stairs. My glasses kept going on below me, and when i bent to pick them up, my keys fell out of my pocket, and then when i went to pick them up, my phone fell out of my pocket. All of this happened in the middle of the store, talk about embarassing! All the confidence I had built up to go talk to her was completely erased. I kind of laughed it off and did a fast walk out of the store. Hopefully she didn’t see, or I will feel like a real retard heading back there tomorrow. And I hope shes working! I hope this gives me confidence moving forward. I’m ganna take it as the worst thing she can say is no, and every opportunity missed will haunt you later on in life.

  • Dustin

    like right now. I’m kicking myself for not just doing it in the first place!

  • Chad Metzer

    Being able to talk to women is sometimes harder for certain individuals than others. Some people grow with confidence and become better over time. I believe you should just be yourself, and try to talk at a steady pace while pronouncing your words clearing. Making eye contact also helps. Being able to communicate well can also mean being able to listen very well. Take an interest in her.Women are not so complicated. Just try and relax around them. They are just as human as you are.

  • Tishen01

    Hey all. I saw a lots tips above. It’s nice to see man helping man on this issue.
    However, i met this cute girl at a bar last nite. She looked at me and smiled and i returned it wit a smile too. Then i gather some guts and approached her with my glass of beer. Cheers! with her and introduced my self and she replied friendly too. After common questions like, [where are u from?], [how often are u here?], [never seen you here before ...] and [you look beautiful], i ran out of topics. Both of us were silent and i felt like a complete idiot sitting there And finally i just excused myself and walk back to my place. Even after that we still exchanged looks but don’t know what to talk about.
    Can someone help me on this. I’m damn weak in beginning a conversation but have no problem to approach any ladies.
    Thanks

  • john316

    ive tried this, it does work, but i always get friend zoned. >:(

  • I♥MaddyE.

    There’s this girl i have a huge, and i mean really huge, crush on and now, thanks 2 u Chris, we’re together. Thanx so much Chris!!!

  • jop2x

    thanks for the advice haha. You’re awesome dude you shoot me on the head… bang! as all men wants they want that the girl will be amazed with him that’s why we find the best topic to open so that they can easily fall to us.. because we are great..!! but that’s not so easy to do… haha thx dude

  • mike tembo

    theres a girl i have wanted to be with but am scared that when i popose to her she might refuse

  • unknown

    sometimes when i talk to a girl, a really cute girl, i get stuck and can’t get my words right and all my friends laugh at me, that makes me real pissed, which can cause a fight and the girls will never talk to me again, not only that i’ll also lose my friends.

  • glen

    i have possibly the worst problem, all the stuff i like, the girl i like finds boring (guitar hero, nfs, gran turismo) those kind of things and im a bit reluctant to share my ipod with her coz its all screamo and death metal and i know shes not into that at all, but ive told her that i like her and im pretty sure she’s starting to like me, but whenever im around her, i never say anything, or i say too much and i just blab on about nothing of interest, so please help me i really need this, i have liked her for about 4 years and i dont want to lose her.

  • Brad

    I met this guy over a game and I was wondering if this information would work if I were to say…try to pick up a guy instead, i’m really shy about my sexuality but I know what I like…PLEASE HELP ME CHRIS!

  • john

    girls tend to go for the bad boys at the most eventually they will get to a stage and they would want a normal relationship so just hang in there and wait for the opportunity =]

  • Makreri

    Hey i want talk to a girl who is my neighbor and 5 years younger than me, She is pretty, good educated and born in a good family and her name is amrutha, My family is not little below their status and i have some fear to talk to her as her father is a police man…
    i can not sleep without dreaming her. i think she is arrogant because of her qualities. Give me a solution to make love with her…

  • djbri

    i need help talking to girls b/c when i talk to girls i start my conversations its good but over time sometimes they stop making new topics and im stuck trying to find a new one help please. -thanks

  • Raj

    i need help i m talking to girl whom i don’t know. Face to face we can talk just fine but sometimes when we’re on the phone we don’t have a topic to talk about. Also, she’s a shy girl so she doesn’t know what to say either during the conversation.

  • Choppa

    @REVROGUE

    W00T. Best comment ever, on any website.

  • richy

    ive been talking to a girl for a month or so now, and im meeting up with her tomorrow. i know how to talk to girls but i just go blank when i see them in person. any tips on what i could say to her? or just how to start the convo? she’s told me she likes me already too.
    cheers.

  • Mace

    Girls always want something they cant have so portray yourself as something that she cant have, this makes you look confident and puts her on the back foot. This will help you to appear more confident while making her seem that she has to be the one to prove herself to you!

  • Dave

    I have the same problem as many of you, I go out to the bar often and i often catch cute girls looking at me but i cant tell if they are interrested in me or not and dont know if i should go talk to them? i dont think im a bad looking dude but every time im with my guy friends they will approach girls and i always feel like the girls are more interrested in them than they are with me, even when i say hi and strike up a conversation. this makes me feel like im an ugly dude and that all my guy friends look better than me. why else would the girl seem uninterrested in me?

  • Buns

    Hey I need advice, there’s a girl I met months ago and I think she’s been myspace stalking me, but she won’t communicate with me in person. I think I ran into her the other night, but I wasn’t sure if it was her. The girl was working and she asked me a question regarding her job. Before I left I looked around the room, and didn’t see her.

    What’s the next move?

  • Buns

    Should I call her out on looking @ my page? Or what? Everytime I saw her I was speechless, asked her out a couple times and she never replied. But There were some signs that she was myspace-ing my profile, and I’m not sure what to do…

  • rob

    ive been talking to this girl on the phone for quite some time now but i dont talk to her in person because i just dont know what the hell to say. i need help on starting up a convo or to just talk one on one for a while. any advice?

  • rick

    how do you get a girl to stray from her group that shes with and just hang out with you and talk?

  • Lenny

    Here is my story. She girl I like works at local GS (where I go during lunch once in a while). It seems she got a job there not long ago. First few of my visits was without a single word (well except telling her what pack of smokes I was going to buy). Last visit which includes frequent eye contact with this girl simply ignited me inside, and then again I was unable to say anything period… I got back to work after a short brake and starting to think about her, it just won`t leave my head. After going through for many varieties of a nice approach my confidence gained its strength (literally telling myself: that’s it – it is time to put an end to this nightmare). So here I am. Left work, got in the car and all the sudden my confidence shatters into the pieces. I am driving by her work and refusing my own will to even go inside! Without having any clue on what to say. I just don`t know what is going on. It like a suicide mission…

  • Troy

    I don’t have a prob keeping a conersation w a girl ovr the phone or facebook but I can’t seem to approach them or talk to them in person. What do I do???

  • ben

    my situation is hard as the only black kids @ my school is me and my sister. does race have anything to do to with it?

  • Ranjith

    we both had talked so much of things which involves in life,we were became more close to each other, when I was in thought of proposing to her she just said I had already commited in my college at that time i felt I lost my life since I am unable to overcome it to this reason I left my job and became an patient now I am hospitalized ,But still she is being with me as a friend what to do with this situation please help me…….

    She took my Heart But still I am Live

    Looking for your replies guys……….

  • Charles (Brazilian boy)

    Hey guys…I need thank you so much…these tips really work…

  • Ryan

    Hey I have trouble talking to a girl because when i talk to a (hot) girl that im trying to get with i dont know what to say and i either freeze up or talk too fast…. and i know im hawt (cause a lot of girls like me) but when i try to talk to one….I…I just cant… :(

  • agirl

    first of all i hope this website is not only for guys, becasue i need help. i like this guy (im a girl) from school and latly he drew me a picture, but he was making me mad earlier, talking crap so i threw it away, and then one of my classmates picked it up out of the garbage and threw it away somewhere else. and then he was talking crap aobut me while i was in hearing range, and then at acsess, he sat really close to me, and tehn when he whent back over to his friend that was there me and my friend whent over, and i was standing behind him, he reached back and was touching my arm alot, and i was wondering what that meant

  • kyle

    im shy and inexperienced(ya, at 21)and im not ashamed to admit it but it does hinder me socially in comunicating with women, BUT the girl i like is a room mate at my house, we work different hours so we dont interact much, and i feel if i try to “practice” with other girls she might find out and be turned off…….also i cannot be sure if she likes me….

  • Cody M

    i like this girl, and one of her best friends trys to hook me up with her. but she keeps wanting to do things with me and when i talk to the girl i like she comes in and talks to her and me. now i have come up with the conclusion that she likes me and i believe i developed feelings for her as well. what should i do? I really need to know what to do because most of my friends are outgoing but i am not.

  • Elliot Crowley

    i like this person, it’s just that she doesn’t fancy me back. I really want her, but we have nothing in common except our good looks. What should I do? I’m in emotional turmoil.

  • Johnathan Wilson

    How do you start a conversation with a girl that goes on your bus?

  • jo

    hi, i like this one girl, she kind of knows that i like her
    i want to mabye hang out with her, mabye get to know her and date her after a while
    im really shy and never really kno wat to say
    how would i go about askin to hang out with her without making it awkward
    ( i also talk to her alot on msn)

  • Fith Teen

    Hello!
    First of all, I just want to say that this is an awesome post, thanks, Chris Calo. But I am having trouble talking to girls at my school. I have no problems talking to the average ones, but it’s the real pretty ones that I can’t even look in the eye, and much less start a conversation with, because I lack confidence. I always think that they have no interest in me, yet my friends keep telling me to go for it. Any advice?

  • Jason

    Well this is the same this that’s happening to me. I can talk to those average one but the pretty ones i can’t and i am really shy to talk to girls, one this is need to do is to let the shy go away but it won’t..and i don’t no why. And my friends are saying that to me all the times.

  • Jason

    Jo that’s the same thing i do. I only talk to girls online better then talk together. I ask this girl in my school if i could get her AIM or myspace and she gave me it, then i talked to her few minutes and the next day in school i couldn’t even said hi to her or give her a hug. I don’t understand nothing and i feel like no girls would like shy boys…and girls sometimes like boys that talk or tell jokes to make her laugh.

  • oscar

    what can i do so i can talk to girls. i dont know why but everytime i am near girls. i get really embarrased and cant talk to them. like when i am in class and there is a girl sitting next to me i get kind of scared to even move. any tips guys.

  • J

    So recently for the past week I been texting this girl that is pretty fine and we don’t know each other face to face but she has sent me pix of her and so have I. So she is sorta say mystical or just plain weird in a social way. As far as I know she has a boyfriend and she always mentions him in her texts to me(kinda bother me). Don’t know what to say to her most of the time since I have feelings for her not sure what to say when we have kept texting each other for a few minutes I run out of things to ask her about I don’t want her to think like Im trying to take her away for her boyfriend. Just want to find a magical thing to say her for her to come out to say she wants me. Oh shes sorta the rebellious type she drinks smokes bud lol me too sorta but she gets good grades and from what she told m shes not a virgin and she asked me if I was tryed to stall but she got the truth outta me. HELP CHRIS!

  • don

    im not scared to talk to girls its just that I say something crazy and mess up so that make me stop approaching girls that i like and wanna talk to

  • Awin

    i am good at talking with girls somehow.
    But gradually i will find all the topic finish its seems there is nothing to say?
    Whats the reasons

  • Nicolice

    oh and be a good kisser

  • david2remedy

    thanks, this really gives me more confidence talking to a girls cos i’m shy and not use to talking to girls

  • major

    make them laugh and be fun to be around

  • PC

    can someone just give me a list of topics to talk about… ?
    like i dont know what to talk about after the 10th or so topic we’ve talked about… i try to keep asking her questions on what she says, then it comes to a point where i go blank… and quiet.. and she doesn’t like that… lol.

  • Jorge

    i used to be able to speak to girls and get them but i ended up becoming chubby and i have lost confedince since my last break up it sucks man never thought it would happen to me. i can give others advice but cant follow my own

  • feds

    i need help about on a girl of course i use to play tennis with her at our public lessons with my coach we always paired up with each other but then she just stop taking public tennis lessons and started taking private tennis lessons which really put me through a depression i vowed that day that i would practice tennis every day of my life which i do but unfortunally i seem to practice less and less i want to play her and see her but i dont now how to do anything with here every time i think about her i get really hot and bothered and i get really embarsed i just need to now a few things one should i ask my coach for her number two if my coach gives it to me should i acctally call her three what in the world shouls i say that doesnt make so awkawrd four if someone called me i like this i would think they were some creep or something so i need to now how to get pass that and five should i ask her as a friend or as a boyfriends ask a girlfriend on a date and six if she has a boyfriend already what in the world should i do?
    P.S. sorry about my grammer and spelling i am bad at both and i get nervous writing this comment so some parts dont make sense probably sorry and this is also very disturbing and a wierd comment isnt it

  • xD guy

    ok listen people

    i had this problem i couldn’t sleep eat always think about the girl i like and what to say
    so i read and read and read and things like that and i gave it test
    this is what you should do

    1st … if you dont know the girl

    ask where you from , how old , what she doing in town, (dont forget to say smt about it like wow you from …. i love that place)

    1st B if you know her and she knows you but only little

    ask her smt like where she goes to school (coment about your school like it sux or teachers are sh*t) understand?
    its prety much easy also ask where she goes out , did she heared …….. and stuff like that
    - you can also talk about football or some sport i bet she watch smt sport (coment like i love that club/player/dontlove/)

    dont forget not to lie about what you like/dont like cos you will be discovered later on….

    1st C if the girl knows you and you know her (same school/place )

    - ask like i liked you a lot will you go out with me
    - give number ………
    - remember when i got scre*d about that thing bla bla bla

    KEY things

    -dont forget to ask her some question related about what girls like ( you wont ask why the dog licks his ass… or why cars are more hot than woman….)

    - dont forget to answer her question in a way funny way (to make her laugh like yes i went in that schooll full of retard teachers)

    - eye contact (omg if you dont do this even 1% of the time you can go home and watch porn)

    -relaxed /shy/no moral its normal i mean you are not human if you dont have this feelings the best you can use this is to make her laugh (with your sillyness)

    - nobody is born perfect… have that in mind as well

    - she is also human … not a god not a queen so if she says no its you dont go home eat chips and play WoW…

    -and be polite (or depends if the woman likes it hard than go rude…)

    that should do the job
    if you have like real problem with a girl (even you fail after my advices) i suggest go get a prostitute and have sex with it ../talk/bla bla xD

    now stop browsing the net and start getting girls !!!!

  • David

    The part where you said …”once a fire is started it needs the right kindeling ….. What about …. Well what do you do once you run out of kindling???

  • asif

    i need help talking to a girl i know on facebook. we dont talk that often.

  • chris

    Is it normal to talk to girls over face book that you havnt really talked to before

  • Chris morales

    Ok soo I’ve been talking to this girl and I talk alot and make her laugh and everything but…. She never talks back! It just gets awkward and then she says something like well I gtg now or nice talking( when she never talks ) but I have to leave now. I need help o. How to get her to talk more but idk if you can help or not.

  • Nick

    I like this girl but I don’t think she likes me.I asked her out in front of my friends and she said I don’t know and my friends started laughing at me so I just walked away.please help me

  • Joeyy

    Ok, my problem is not the self confidence, but lack of ideas of topics to talk about. I tried asking her some questions but the conversation just didn’t start up, the silence was there, it was a very awkward moment, i don’t know if she likes me, she is very sociable, she laughs much, makes jokes, but i really can’t keep the conversation going. The only reason i would believe she likes me is that sometimes she’s staring at me.. What do you think?

  • Dan

    I think girls somewhat make men feel like they are unnaproachable. I find the hardest way to pick up girls is in a nightclub but this is where you get the greatest density of girls in one area so you would think there is plenty of opportunity right?

    I hate it when a girl looks at me and I look back and I know she’s thinking in her head “come and say something to me then” but I just haven’t got the guts to go up and say anything. When I’m in a conversation there’s no stopping me but I just never have the guts to actually ‘break the ice’ as it were.

    Any tips for getting the balls to actually initiate a convo with a girl? I mean how should I start it? “can I buy you a drink?”, “what’s your name?”…which one is best?

    Any help greatly appreciated :-)

  • Sean

    Guys, be yourself and relax! Make her laugh and smile! Ask her questions! It will all help in the end :) if your afraid to talk to her, find her on Facebook or something and say hi there! If you get a good convo up and she is interested in talking with you then go talk to her in person, it will help a lot with the nervousness you have!
    GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!!

    -Sean

  • Sean

    Dan, try “hey, what’s your name?” ask in a nice way, there you go! Ice is broken!
    GOOD LUCK!

    -Sean

  • ULUNG PM

    It’s nice to know that’s this also somebody else problem’s

  • Dan

    Sean, I know what you’re saying but I’m just scared that she’ll just blank me out or answer my question and turn her back on me and then I’d look like a fool. I take rejection very badly and even though I’d love to pull I just can’t handle rejection. I feel like crying in a nightclub in front of every1 and I actually have done this before.

    It’s really embarassing but I just worry about rejection so much :-(

  • Liam

    Hey every one, I talk to girls, some at school some on Facebook and some from figure skating (and yes I figure skate, it’s fun I like it and it’s good for getting girls.) I am pretty good looking and have a good wing man and him and i mostly talk to the same girls he also figure skates. I sometimes run out of conversation but can usually keep convo going. But I am trying to say YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GOOD LOOKING or have a good wing man or have a million dollars or anything like that start out small like personal info, but not too personal not too early, and eventually you may talk about deeper things ex- sexual things dates, even more personal things. But think of them as a friend just build off of that don’t treat them like a princess don’t try to be too persistent just be yourself and go along with it. Remember girls often think of guys as friends they usually like talking to you so don’t go too far and eventually you’ll get there. Hope this helped good luck all! :)

  • Dan

    Asy they say, you don’t wanna drift in to that friends zone… :-/

  • Altair

    I’ve had a crush on the same girl who also skates for about a year, ever since i first saw her. I dont know how to approach it or anything so I am a bit stuck. She also goes to a different school. Any tips?

  • andrew

    Hey. I like the way you conveyed your ideas. I’ve used those methods before and they’ve worked wonders for me. Hats off to you, sir! Haha

  • XYZ

    Hi, I’m a girl who wandered on this website for some reason. @-@ Google gives me some wierd results.

    But here’s just my 2 cents:
    1. Make friends. Whoever says :Don’t go into that friends zone, I’m sorry, but for a lot of girls, if you’re not at least friends, if you have a bump in your relationship, it’ll hit a lot harder if you don’t have something else binding you together. Make her feel comfortable first.

    2Talk about random subjects. Nothing’s worse than that awkward silence.
    :(

    3. Don’t come on too strongly too fast. It’s really uncomfortable for some girls. Also, never pressure her into anything. For example, if it’s her first time dating or such, she may lack confidence and feel obligated to say yes, either because she’s not sure what she’s feeling, or because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or lose you as a friend. Or both.

    4. When you actually start dating, talk to her. Don’t go “I love you” in textmessages once every few months and expect her to feel the same.

    That’s it. Basically, just treat her like she’s an equal human being. She’s not some strange species. :(

    Good luck! :)

  • john p

    My problem is confidence, i know im a smart intresting guy, im not to bad looking, but i got a small beer gut, some mild acne that comes and go’s, NO CAR! And a seasonal job so somtimes im rolling other times im poverty stricken. i go back and fourth, when my acne clears up ill go and talk to some girls. acne is clear, ok well when i tone up a bit i’ll go talk to some girls. i get a little toned, well let me just wait till i get a car. oh the acne is there again. oh its winter and im broke no girl wants someone who is broke, wait till summer. summer is here let me just get rid of this gut. its a vicious cycle. other than the obvious get a car and maybe a steady job, witch im sure i’d still have a back fourth issue going on. how do i get past this?

  • Mr. Quite

    Nice stuffs…
    But what if a girl likes you and comes near you to talk to you, and you don’t show a reaction neither a smile and ignore her ….
    I do these things to a girl almost everyday, she’s in my art class, I like her she’s beautiful and intelligent but I don’t know why do I get mute when she sits near me…..
    Need help …..
    And by the way yes I am lucky to get this girl and also an ass for not talking to her…
    That’s what happens, if you are an afghan…

  • tuck

    well i know some gilrs and stuff but when one starts talking to me, i answer any question they have. and then i add something else about that topic. but after that, sometimes the girl just doesn’t have anything else to say, or expects me to say something else. its akward. also one might say hey whats up? and i’ll say not much or something like that what else should i say. shes really nice and i am too but she is talkative to other people and i am kinda shy

  • Dr D

    Guys,

    read all 151 posts and have learnt and jotted down some great stuff which I intend to use. All these great tips are scattered over the page and since most of us are on the same boat, thought I’d summarise here for you to make things easy.

    1. Be yourself – dont act

    2. Make Eye contact and Smile as much as possible

    3. Be calm and clear

    4. Treat her like a human and a friend – tell jokes – make her laugh

    5. Do not Plan anything – talk about what ever pops into your head – random topics are good

    6. Break the ice with a joke if you have to

    7. Dont come Too Strong Too Fast – dont pressure them

    8. let them do the talking and you listen – ask questions

    9. Not too personal too early & dont be serious

    10. Make her comfortable – be friends for a short period

    11. Compliment her every so often – but not pick up lines

    12. Dont be too persistant

    Try to:

    Be dominant if you can – but dont over do it
    practice with others

    Remember:

    She’s not God or a Queen – plenty more fish in the sea

    She is more worried than you

    Dont make her feel like you want her badly – act like you dont care

    Portray as she cant have you – make her prove herself to you

    This is all your stuff so hope a summary of it is useful – am such a geek aint I? lol

    Dr D

  • Tristhan

    It works for me Dr D!!!!
    thanks!

  • derick

    chrs. Virtue can not be taught.

  • Michael

    PLEASE RATE

    “Hi hun I just thought you should know I like how you wear that hair. Very Cute. I’m _____ how are you hun?”

    out of 1-10

  • Rivić

    Do girls get to like someone after talking for four months?
    I mean, this makes sense to me as a guy, but does apply for woman as well?
    You girls would “develop” feelings toward a guy whis really nice to u, even if you are a Christian? This is happpening to me. Please someone tell me if that is plosible n girls cause in men it takes a look to fall in love.

  • Tony Escobar

    Hi guys: I need some input here. I met this girl online and we’ve been sending e-mails to each other, but I’ve come upon a stumbling block. I told her in my last e-mail that I don’t have an internet connection at home, and she replied by saying that she couldn’t stop laughing when she read that, and that she’s better than me. I’m wondering how to turn this into a flirt moment without making fun or belittling myself. Any ideas? Thanks.

  • Cameron

    hey guys like alot of u I have problems talking to chicks and it’s very irritating that I’m seventeen all of my friends have girlfriends and that I’ve blown alot of chances to have one and that I’m one of the only guys at school that’s never had one. I need advice!

  • Sebastian

    Hi i am new to this whole website question thing and i have this girl that i like but we dont go to the same school, but we do talk alot on social sites. But 1 of my biggest disadvantages is that i am ENGLISH and she is SPANISH, i live in spain but most people say that my spanish is very good but i still have problems trying to get across what i mean. we have talked alot and she has said that she loves me as a friend and that we are friends or now but we have a chance… when we see each other we can start talking but after a while i just cant think about what to talk about, please could some1 help me please??

    • rob

      Hello Sebastian, big problem you have there, when you next see her, if i were you, i would ask her out.

      Thank you
      Rob

  • rob

    hi guys i need help.i like this girl who i think of as good looking. but wen it comes to looks im not thar hot i guess im average maybe but i hav a good sense of humor and i am very funny but thats all i know about talking to girls i can nvr start a good conversation so i am begging for someone to give me some advice thx for your time=(

  • valentine mponela

    chris calo you have truly helped, i mean i now don’t have any problems facing girls. i’m now going out with a finest girl at my school whome i allways find it hard to approuch.

  • kyle

    Hey don’t keep look at ur phone or lessening to music they tend to think you are not interested

  • human being

    this girl was looking at me consistently and i approached her not thinking what i would say to her.as soon as i said hi to her my blood was boiling and i didnt know what to say to her next.i ended up just asking her number and looking like an idiot.i need someone to tell me what topics to discuss with girls particularly this girl next time

    • Junior HighSchooler

      Here are soem good ones I would say:

      (Take a deep breath and just go up to her)

      “Hey, I was wondering if you could show me where the libary is ” (Wish I used this one myself)

      if you got a class with her
      “Hey what do you think of this school, do you like it?”

      And heres one for a laugh

      “Do you know (who just made that sound/ who that is)?? ”

      if she replies

      “Who”

      say “That owl over there”

  • Junior HighSchooler

    Hey guys, this helped a bit but I need more help. I read some comments but no one seems to have the exact situation I’m in. I’ve had girlfriends before in the past before I sunk into depression. Now, I am not as depressed and I want to build up confidence.

    So here’s the scenario:

    I’m a high schooler Junior year. I sit behind the girl I like and haven’t been able to say anything other than “Thank you” when she passes something back or “Hey” when I look hey eye to eye. She always syas “your welcome” and “hey ” back. After those brief conversations we go no where. Occasionaly I try to ask about the work and either she or other peopel answer it. But it’s just quick questions nothing really a conversation or even a few setences could birth from. It takes me a long time to build confidence and apprently I blush…. yep blush…

    So with that said lets add more to this situation:

    She sits infornt of me and to my lef thand side, my friend “N”. I wont say the whole name cause I’m not risking anyone from school reading this. I’m a pretty quiet kid who is trynna branch out a bit more. But “N” is making it hard for me to branch out and talk to the girl who sits infront of me. Last week he blurted out in class ” YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON (Insert her name here)” On purpose since he knew I liked her for a while. He did this because I keep refusing to talk to her and his conversations are a bit loud…. She just giggled about it cause he has done this like 3 days in a row… SO! What in god’s name should I do? I need to figure out what to say, some conversations and everything. I was told to ask what is her favorite color but that sounds a bit random. She is most of the time talking to one of her friends.

    IS SHE SINGLE!? Yes. I know because my friend “N” was like ” (Insert my name here) WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND” she giggled and said no. But this girl….she is beautiful and probally the hottest girl at the shcool.

    • wyldestarh

      lol, this is going to sound like something from grade school, but if you dont have the confidence to talk to said girl, pass her a note asking her how to get “N” to stop putting your business out there for the class to know that you have a crush on her…i would think that would be a start for you to build that confidence up, but just keep in mind that all women have insecurities so she could be just as nervous as you are

  • Bloke

    I’ve read a few of these stories, some good pointers. To the younger generation of high schoolers – trust me, it gets so much easier when your older. I made some huge mistakes with girls when I was at high school.. ie: love letters (thats right I once wrote a girl a love letter). Never spoke to her again haha. ah well, the point is after this I realised that girls like the chase just as much as guys do. Except where we see a girl and think “I want her!!!” they don’t notice us because they are used to every other guy wanting them too (especially if they are hot). But they like the chase if they think they cant have someone. The trick is to get noticed. To get noticed you need to have confidence. To get confidence you need to ask yourself – what have you got to lose? (I’m not suggesting you pronounce your love for her in front of the school either) Just go talk to her. Tell her about yourself and what you like. And ask her what she likes. (You might learn stuff about her you don’t like…) If you do still like her then ask her out, or at least for her number etc…
    And dont be fooled by a crush! Just because you like a girl and you think you are in love with her, you’re not really. You just have a crush… It may hurt if you risk putting yourself out there and it fails but at least you have had a crack! A lesson can be learnt from every experience in life, especially the bad ones – it makes us stronger..
    Now getting back to girls liking the chase… how many times have you heard the expression “treat them mean, keep them keen”? Its true so to speak. Im not saying go pull her hair and call her a fat mole… It refers more to yourself than the girl. It means don’t act so keen that you scare them off. Once you’ve taken that brave step and put yourself out there and you get a positive response, back off a little.. don’t sever connections with her, but string her along a little bit. If you have her number text her asking for example “How was you weekend?” then when you get a response don’t write back straight away. Reply in a few hours time or if its late the next day… It will drive her crazy but she will stick around. After some time you’ll both relax and the whole encounter with her will get easier (because girls are just as nervous as guys, probably even more so). Then things may progress from there or they might not – either way life is too short, just have a go.
    I’m no expert on women, no one is (women are crazy) but we cant live without them, so just remember your a man. Men are tough, its a dog eat dog world, so don’t give up.
    If there are any questions ill check in to this site from time to time, hope this was helpful. Cheers

  • thestudios

    I’m 39 and still single. I’ve always felt uncomfortable around them and have permanently given up. So much so that even if a woman did approach me, I’d decline seeing her again. I like them but they’re not for me. Will stay single.

  • desperate guy

    life is too short just have a go!!!!!

  • rob

    I am a very shy type of person, and i find it hard to speak to anyone i dont know really well, especially girls. I cant even walk up to them and say something. If a girl asks me a question, i will answer quickly and leave it at that. Im usually ok with the uglier or unattractive girls, but with hot girls i freeze up and cant say a word, and i always think they are too good for me. Can anyone see some sort of solition to my problem

  • Bloke

    To thestudios, good for you in your decision, i hope your happy.
    To Rob, mate, there are girls, even hot ones, that are shy. I’ve met so many hot shy girls that you’re head would spin. Most women are not as confident as men when it comes to meeting new people. Why do you think they take about a million years to get ready when they go out? It’s because they want to impress both men and other women. My advice to stifle your shyness would be to go out where there is no one else you know. Let loose, get drunk, dance, talk to the hottest girl there. Be who you want for a night even if you embarrass yourself, who cares you wont know anyone. Most other people are that drunk that they wont remember anyway. Talk about anything that comes to mind, the news, your work, how beautiful her eyes are (be a little cliché, it might work) The point is to portray who you are to as many different women as possible, because although some of the time they might turn you down, there will always be one in the room who is interested in you at any given location. You just have to be confident enough to meet her. :)
    Hope that helped. Cheers.

  • Naggggra

    I like a girl and she knows i like her and we usally hang around together with other friends but i just can not start a convosation or carry one on and afterward i fell like a twat and wish to know what to say to her and not how :/ thanks

    • rob

      Yeah u feel ya bro

  • Kyle

    Let me listen to it with you sometime…combos are easy just talk about what you enjoy n ask her what you told example I like pizza what food do u like…it’ll all keep goi I hope it helped

  • Alex

    Meeting up with a girl tomorrow morning for the second time. We met on the bus and had a 15-20 minute convo, but it had a few awkward pauses. I got her number and we’ve been texting a little bit. I read the full page and think I’ll do well, im taking all these comments to heart. Thanks. Guess I’ll post how it goes later.

  • rob

    Lol so what if your not good at talking to peoole in general. Thats me.. a tad bit sociophobic

  • Sher

    This is my ultimate problem. The reason I been and may be lonely for the rest of my life is because I lack confidence, super shy, and have a low self esteem. I don’t want to be like this. There’s a girl I want to talk to and I will try to go talk to her. I just hope my head don’t explode because I have a blushing problem as well.

  • Tom Ilau

    i had a convstn with a girl tody, at first i mention her name n she said what and i had a pause and didnt have any idea what to say to her and strt conv but when i said a word to her and she just went off and bloked me of on fb