Confessions Of A Date-A-Holic: What Women Look For In Online Dating Profiles


I’ll come right out and say it: I love online dating. Having done more than my fair share of dating and I can say with confidence that there is no other medium out there that allows a girl to get 28 dates (most of them with different men) in 40 days. Between and it’s easy for a girl to find interesting men that want to show her around town. I could go on all day about how women should spruce up their profile to meet interesting men… but instead I’m going to reveal the secrets of what I (and I suspect most women), look for in a man’s dating profile.

An Eye-Cathing First Impression

Compare the contents and information of an online dating profile to the resume and cover letter that one would send as part of a job application. This information is your chance to attract attention and showcase everything that makes you completely “dateable.” If you fail to create a profile adequately reflecting your qualities and strengths as a potential candidate, you could be getting overlooked. When women join a dating site they are, most often, looking for a lasting relationship.

One of the many benefits to online dating is that it takes a lot of the guess work out of the dating scene by asking users to list their interests, qualities, hobbies and aspirations out in the open. Use this as an opportunity to really show yourself. Follow these tips when creating your profile and women will be dying to know more about you.

Most (but not all) women join dating sites looking for a lasting relationship.

Be original

Creating the profile for your respective online dating site is an opportunity to provide women users with a snippet of your personality. Be original! Avoid the use of clichés like “ I like to live life to the fullest” and “I enjoy romantic walks on the beach.” Those phrases are boring and more importantly, overdone. They do not provide any real information about who you are. Try to examine your life values and interests and put those things into words.

Stand out.

Be creative!

Using a description that is unique, different and exciting is much more likely to catch a woman’s eye. You have some very exceptional interests and qualities that are going to be very attractive to another person. It’s time to expose them.

Of course, you can’t tell someone everything about yourself through an online profile. However, you can get creative and attract attention. Be funny. Be unique. Incorporate things that are going to make you memorable. Who’s your favorite character on the Jersey Shore, and why? If you could choose one super power, what would it be? Things like this are going to stand out and the purpose of your online profile is to serve as an audition for the real show, the first date.

what do women look for in a dating profile part 2
Types of men: Video games player or avid reader?

Show your sensitive side

Ok, guys – We women know that you spend a lot of your free time playing video games, watching sports and “broing out” with your buddies while throwing back Bud Lights. Don’t get me wrong; having the ability to be a guy’s guy is an attractive feature in a partner. However, women also like to experience your softer, intellectual side. Look at this as a time to let your sensitive and cultured qualities shine through. You may not get a chance to talk about your love for classic novels, describe your adorable cuddle sessions with your Labrador retriever or confess to crying in The Notebook, very often. These may not be appropriate topics for a poker night but we certainly want to hear about them. We want a burly, manly man with a soft spot. Give us a preview of both angles.

Be confident just not too confident

Confidence can be a very attractive quality in a man. Women want a man that is aware of what he has to offer, knows how to use it and, most importantly, is choosing her as the recipient of this gift. However, use discretion and be careful not to create a profile that could potentially come across as vain or egotistical. Be aware of your tone in your written descriptions. State your strengths with confidence but don’t be arrogant. If you are an active individual and have the physique to prove it, we want to see that.

Instead of posting a selfie of you flexing in the mirror, use a photo from a day at the lake with friends. Your abs will most certainly not go unnoticed and we will take note of your choice of pictures, seeing that your friends are important to you.

what do women look for in a dating profile part 3
She’s looking for her ideal man… is that your profile?

What do you have to offer?

Very often, online dating site users view their profiles as a chance to display what they are looking for in a partner instead of examining what they have to offer. It’s certainly okay to give some indication of what qualities you are looking for, as well. However, your efforts are better served describing yourself as a person and potential companion and letting women know what treatment to expect from you.

You have something to offer women that others don’t. It’s time to figure out what that is and own it. Maybe you give shoulder massages second to none. Maybe you have an unusually high tolerance for chick flicks, are the perfect shopping companion or are a phenomenal listener. What makes you great? Find out what these qualities are and make sure to let women know. Not only will you be advertising your strengths as a potential boyfriend but you will also gain confidence from knowing all of the things that make you desirable.

Be yourself

Be confident about who you are and what you have to offer. Tell the truth. One of the most sought after benefits of online dating is that profiles are used to put important information out there. Female users that may come across your profile may notice a “deal breaking” detail right away, saving you both time and embarrassment by catching it up front instead of on the first or second date. It is equally as likely that they will notice a quality that is exactly on par with what they are seeking. You want someone to give you a shot because they like what they saw. More importantly, you want the things they saw to be the real you.

what do women look for in a dating profile part 4
What a woman looks for in a dating profile

Choose the perfect pictures

Be selective and deliberate when deciding which photos to include. This is not only a chance for women to see what you look like but it also allows them another glimpse into your persona. Include actions shots of you doing something fun and exciting to show your adventurous side.

Have an exciting life? Show us!

Consider a photo of you hiking, mountain biking or fishing. Including a picture with family and friends illustrates the importance of the relationships in your life. One word. Puppies. Posting a photo of you with an animal of any kind is likely to melt the hearts of any women who stumble upon your profile. Include photos that you may have taken on a trip to Europe or on a cruise to the Caribbean. This is the perfect chance to provide a visual representation of how diverse and exciting your interests are.

When creating your profile for an online dating site it is important to be strategic and purposeful with the information that you share. Knowing what women are looking for as they browse different profiles will help you determine a plan of action. Consider these tips when deciding on which of your qualities and personality details to include in your profile. I’m here to provide you with a little bit of insight into what women are thinking as they search for the love of their life from behind their computer screen.

Frequently Asked Questions
What are some red flags women should look for in men?

1. Failure to take 'no' for an answer.

2. 'Loan sharking'; holds favors over your head or implies that you 'owe' him.

3. A lack of consistency between word and deed.

4. Speaks extremely poorly of others or treats other poorly.

5. Everyone in his past seems to be either crazy or an asshole.

What do men in their 30's and 40's look for in women?

I’m 47. I look for a woman +/- 5 years, smart, funny and adventurous. At our age we all have some emotional baggage, but stability and a lack of drama is pretty necessary.
I don’t feel a laundry list of requirements is a healthy way to seek a partner. Never underestimate chemistry.

What level of intelligence do you look for in the women you date?

I need her dumb enough to think going out with me is a good idea

What do indian women look for in a man?

Sigh. So, since this thread is basically a joke, here's a woman's perspective on the question.

* The biggest, and the most common problem that I see with Indian men is their inability to see women as friends, mentors, professional acquaintances, that-person-you-get-high-with, someone-you-can-chill-with. Somehow women are always looked at as potential partners. Your thought process shouldn't be, 'Can I date her?' or 'Is she date-able?' in the first few meetings. I have such a personal hard-on for men who understand the nuances of healthy platonic relationships with the opposite sex, who aren't constantly asking themselves, 'She touched my shoulder, does she like me?'

This also makes them more accepting of their SOs interacting with the opposite sex, because they aren't of the mindset that you can't be 'just friends' with someone who is not your SO. They don't have to have some sort of ownership clause over their SOs, and, in my experience so far, these men get a LOT of female attention everywhere they go.

* If you're not a sexist, gender stereotyping, misogyny enabling asshole, you're already in my good books. Most men after hearing this will go, 'Oh, well, I am not any of these. I don't eve tease, or ogle at women, or send them creepy PMs on Facebook.' and then turn around and not let their sisters out of the house after 6, or laugh about how being married/committed means sucking up to your SO.

* I have dated extremely good looking men, and I have dated average looking men as well. Your appearance isn't much of a criterion for me, but then, it might be for someone else, just like some men will go for good looking women, and some won't. Why is this always blown out of proportion? Can we please just date people we find attractive and put this to rest?

* About the money thing, again, some women go for money, some don't. Stability is very subjective. I'd see someone who is choosing to work on his startup(which he loves) at zero pay, when he can have a decent paying corporate job, as stable, while the next woman I meet might not and would want an NRI. So what? Some of you would marry submissive house-wives who'd take care of your parents, while some of you would want a McKinsey Consultant who travels 4 days out of 7 in a week, and makes as much, if not more money than you. What is this shaming each other for the kind of people they want to date? Would you date someone you are not attracted to, just so that you have a higher moral ground? Dafuq, people.

* Have at least one thing in life that you're passionate about and can hold conversations around. I was introduced to a guy, by a mutual friend, in a bar. We got talking soon after, about what he was doing in the city and his work (he was holding two jobs at that moment - one as a medic student intern/resident at a hospital, and one at the bar we were in). He asked about my work, and the project I was currently slaving over. 20 minutes in, he asked if he could buy me a drink, and I gladly accepted. We talked till 4 that night, on and off, before we parted ways to our respective places. Be that guy.

* Take rejection on a positive note. If a woman doesn't want to date you, it's not 'her loss'. Please stop with the whole, 'I took you out for pani puri, why are you saying no to me now?'. Leading someone on for favors is wrong, and I do not condone that at all, but women don't owe you shit for being nice to them. Plus, if you're only nice till the time I say 'no' to you, well, then you aren't that nice, are you?

* 'But women like to play hard to get. She wants me to ask her out 5 times, before she eventually says yes.' Please stop enabling this manipulative behaviour where you have to 'chase' women over a period of time, to let her know that you are REALLY interested in her. You deserve better treatment than being a subject of someone's mind games. Take the first 'no' on face value, and leave it at that. If she wanted you, she'd tell you.