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Are You A Nice Guy?

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Question from a reader:

“I have had a little situation that has been puzzling me lately. There’s this girl that I have been friends with for over a year and I feel as if I’m getting closer to her. I was at her place just a couple weeks ago… and even though nothing happened, it was just the two of us!

I mean, that’s progress right?

She was sitting on the opposite side of the couch so I couldn’t really have any physical contact. Just last week I invited her to lunch and we’ve had a fun conversation… as opposed to the serious one we had a few weeks ago.

I am trying to make myself stand out here! I want to attract her, but I want to reduce my chances of being rejected. So I invited her to this a free show that’s happening nearby and I’m hoping she’ll say yes. What are some little things that I can do when we hang out to make it seem more like we’re on a date?

Should I go have dinner with her?

How should I behave without crossing any lines?

I already established that I’m a friend and I don’t want things to be awkward if she rejects me. I could really use any advice!”

My answer on the next page…

Getting out of the friends zone:

I always say things straight, so brace yourself!

You’re in the friends zone. She might like you… but you’re still in the friends zone.

You’re acting like the stereotypical nice guy that starts learning about all this stuff and doesn’t know what to do with girls. That’s GREAT! Why? Because the prescription is simple and it’s been done hundreds of times before. (Hey, it’s easier when you have similar problems to everyone else… you just use the same solution as everyone else)

The Nice Guy Syndrome

What indicates the “nice guy” syndrome that is preventing you from attracting girls and having success:

- “I have been working on a situation with a girl for a little over a year” <— ONE YEAR?! Either you’re friends with someone… or you’re not.

- She sat on the opposite side of the couch so I wasn’t able to kino. <– You ask her to come closer, you move over there… you make things happen! I have had COUNTLESS girls sit further away because they are shy… So you say: “Come sit here” and they are happy to oblige.

- “I’m trying to stand out” <– This is going to screw you over. Don’t think about this. Either you stand out or you don’t.

- “I’m trying to attract her” <– Whenever you actively try to attract someone, it does the opposite. (It’s messed up, but it’s true. Don’t confuse going after what you want with attracting someone though.)

- “I want to reduce my chances of rejection” <– Holy BAD mindset batman! Don’t be scared of rejection. You have to embrace it. And she’s a friend for a year… how can she possibly reject you now?! Instead, you should be thinking: “I’m going to do this super cool thing and if she joins… that’s cool. If she doesn’t, then that’s OK because there are others that will join… and if they don’t, then i’m going to have FUN doing it alone” (And then you’ll meet people there)

- “What are things that I can do to make it seem more like a date?” AHHHHHHHH, the trick is to NOT make it seem like a date. Dates are awkward and no one likes them. Avoid dates. She won’t like you more if it feels like a date.

- “Without crossing any lines” This is the typical “nice guy” syndrome at 100% power. If you’re scared and worried about crossing lines, you’re not coming from a place of confidence and power. Instead, you’re coming from a place of fear & insecurity. (none of these will attract women)

Article Name
Are You A Nice Guy?
A reader asks if he's too much of a nice guy and we dig into him, uncovering why it sucks to be too nice and how to find the right balance between nice, pushover and too arrogant.
How To Attract Women Without Acting Fake, Without Following A Complicated System and Without Being Weird

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  • Edward

    When your hangin out with her just casually slip in this question “(her name here) would you like to grab dinner with me tonight” if she says “yes” go on from there and take her to a nice clean restruent if she says “no” say “okay some other time then” and don’t get all sad and start crying and DO NOT ASK HER WHY NOT

  • Edward

    Casually ask her “you want to have dinner with me tonight” if she says yes take her to a nice clean restruent and if she says no say okay some other time then DO NOT ASK HER WHY NOT if she says no

  • Charles

    I’ve been with this girl 4 about 1 year and 2 months.. We have the same likes and dislikes which we accidently discovered a fault. The best i can get so far is just a hug
    once in a while.. I would love to go further as I have loved her many years a when i first saw her.. go I was with a very abusive person until a year and ago 2 months .. i never forgot her.. now i want her more then anything .. the sex part can wait but i want out of the friend zone i hope U can help me .. Yours Charles

  • David

    What happend to this guy’s story? Did he get her?

  • William

    im depressed i asked this girl out for abou6 months and from there we lost contact COMPLETELY chris, I NEED YOUR HELP

  • dave

    Does nice guy mean being on time, being considerate, being a good listener and sending flowers to her job from time to time? I guess that they call that boring!