It’s funny: as I share what I learn about dating and seduction, I keep running into men who wonder how to break through the “invisible shield” some women put up. You know the situation: you approach a really cute girl, and she gives you an attitude. “Sooooooo?” she asks, turning up her nose. “Are you desperate?”. Come over here, I got something else to ask you: are you serious!? Don’t you have standards? I’ll tell you something: the best way to break through that attitude is not to invest any more energy into that woman. I’ll answer how to approach cold women shortly, but first, the reaction you should adopt if she is rude to you.

ice cold woman

Yeah, I heard all the theories: beautiful girls get approached all the time, they put up an invisible shield to weed out the dorks, they are bored or annoyed by all the men hitting on them, or hey, they may just have a plain bad day. Fine, but you know what? In your reality, this kind of behavior just shouldn’t fly.

Here’s how you can react:

  • Smile, say “Good Bye”, and leave
  • Smile, clearly call her out on her behavior “I don’t know how you were raised, but where I’m from people have better manners” and then leave.
  • Smile, thank her for saving you precious time and leave
  • Laugh and leave

Put simply, your frame of mind should be that if she doesn’t have the decency to be nice, she is not NOT worth your time. I don’t care about her reasons, and neither should you. There are tons of women out there, and she just kicked herself out of the game.

Sorry, girl. It’s a Darwinian world.

Usually, if you call her out on her unacceptable behavior and walk away, she’ll come after you.

What? Come again?

Yeah, you read that right. You just broke through her barriers. You know why? Because

a) She didn’t expect a man to stick to his own reality, his standards.
b) She wants what she can’t have.

She just realized that she’s losing you to another girl. There’s a good chance she’ll follow you and ask: “What? Why are you leaving ?”, or “I’m sorry I was just having a bad day!”. This is when you tell her that she’s not a friendly girl and that you don’t go for her kind. You’re glad you found out right away, before investing your energy in her, and you’re now going to find a nice and friendly girl. Simple as that. Although sometimes they’ll actually warm up quite a bit and you might want to give them another chance!

You can be polite about that. Don’t get rude in return, but be firm and clear.

It’s about your standards

Even though your reaction will clearly show her that her actions have consequences – something she probably rarely gets from men – this is not about teaching her a lesson. This is about you having standards.

This is the most important thing about what I just told you: this is only going to work if you really MEAN it! Sure, you may get some “leverage” by learning this material by heart and repeating it, but seriously, if it’s not your conviction, you may as well leave it alone. For your own good, realize these two things:

1. You actually ARE good enough to find a nice, friendly girl
2. There ARE plenty of nice and friendly girls around

There genuinely is no reason for you to stick around a girl that’s giving you a hard time, an attitude, drama, rudeness.

Get it? It’s ironic and counter-intuitive, but having better things to do with your time, that’s how you approach cold women that put an invisible shield up around them! The clue is that you are not trying to “get” her attention, attraction, affection. You are walking up to her because she looks nice, and you want to “offer” her these things. If she behaves bratty, she loses that privilege. You extended an invitation, now you’re retreating it. Remember: I’m not telling you to kick women around or become macho. But be a man and assert your values – it will actually make you more attractive.

  • MK

    I’m a VERY attractive guy but I don’t have much experience with woman (I rarely talk to them not that I am gay but I just don’t understand them). In the past I was shy but now not any more. But I just don’t understand why when I approach a girl they ALWAYS give me the cold shoulder despite that it was not a bad time but this article kind of cleared my thoughts.

  • moe

    Ive been told Im beautiful,but come off very cold and aloof. But Im actually just shy, like very shy. What guys dont know is that beauty can be a curse. All youre prize is on is your beauty and that creates trust issue: does he like me or just the way I look?

    beautiful women are insecure about trust and most of all, most are lonely ass bitches. Just like me.

  • Estie

    @ #5.
    Rachel, In your position probably the best thing to do in my opinion is to be honest. Simply say youre not looking for a relationship or to hook up, if they continue and ask why just be honest in ur reasons. Which maystart a conversation and meeting perhaps a friend?
    If a man is respectful theyll understand ur position and not feel rejected either, because,, well its your feelings.

  • ty9er

    Hello, now this one’s a masterpiece,,,spot on!

  • Rachel

    I have a question from the other side of the fence. Every time i reject a guy feel like crap. It makes me anxious and I feel horribly guilty. Most of them are nice guys so I don’t want to hurt them but I don’t want to date them either.

    Most of these guys are out of the running because they smoke, are my coworkers, or don’t even live in the same state (I travel a lot for work). It has nothing to do with their personality or looks.

    I always try to be honest and gentle but I usually end up a social outcast at a party or at work because no one wants to talk to me unless I’m interested in them romantically. I often avoid social situations (even going to play pool with my best friend during the day, or the company Christmas party) because I know I’ll have to reject guys if I go. I even started wearing a wedding ring at my new job, but when the guys at work found out it was a rouse to deflect their advances, they started right in on hitting on me.

    How do I smoothly quell the situation and turn it around so these guys don’t feel dejected or get hostile? How do I talk to a guy without him thinking I’m hitting on him? Can I dance with someone and not have them think I’m going home with them? How do I go to a party without hiding in a corner behind my friends? I don’t want to be a hermit, please help me.

    P.S. I don’t dress like a whore and I barely wear make-up. In fact I’m usually dressed in steel-toe boots and a hard hat at work.

  • Marco

    When I did my search on this topic I was expecting to find tricks and tips, but you know what, this article is right on…as guys yes we want the hot girl, but why loose you balls and self respect just to get her to warm up to you. “Warm up to you?” really…we are men we are not little neutered rat dogs. The author is right. Plenty of nice sweet girls outthere who are extremely hot. All you hot women out ther who play the “I’m too hot” role, guess what you are going to end up missing out on a great guy and keep attracting those guys who you feel are at your level..and they probably are, equally arrogant. I’m done! Peace Out!

  • brino

    thanks.. soooo true. and the game is ooon!

  • Big Hayat

    I really appreciate d article,every bit about it is right. I have tried it,being my self gives me respect at the same time uplift my value. Treating cold women with possibilities of leaving them any moment will grant more attraction and thus love.

  • Numbers

    Great Article! Thanks for telling me how to approach cold women!