Have you ever laid your eyes on a group of really hot girls at a party or in a bar? Say, at least four of them? It’s like Christmas, only you don’t get to unwrap them, because you can’t approach a group of girls just like that, right? It’s too awkward, randomly breaking into a group. And scary. But seriously, it’s tempting, and you’d really like to get to know these girls. You’re in luck, because I’m here to tell you how to approach a group of girls – and I’ll give you tools to do it! First step: get a friend to burn your money if you don’t approach.
Overcome Approach Anxiety
I’m not pulling your Johnson. Hand your friend a 20 dollar bill and a lighter, then tell him to count down from 10. If you’re not approaching that group by zero, your 20 goes up in flames. Trust me, by the time you burned 60 bucks, you’ll approach girls like no tomorrow. The lesson is: don’t shoot yourself in the crotch. You need to get over your anxiety. If you can approach one person, why not a group? All you need is to know how to be confident and practice, and there’s nothing at stake. You’ll most likely never see these people again. Yes, you’ll feel awkward, and insecure, and land on your butt. I sure did. But that’s how you learn. You’ll never move forward if you don’t push your comfort zone, so get out there and do it.
How To Approach: Body Language.
a) Walking up: this mustn’t be different than walking up to a bunch of good friends. Take your hands out of your pockets, walk and breathe slowly and consciously. Look only at them, and discard the surroundings. You want to be aware of the present moment, but not distracted by it. Also, don’t move in too close: you don’t want to intrude their space. Stop close enough so you can talk to them easily without leaning forward.
b) Posture: leaning in is bad. You’ll be an intruder invading the group’s space, plus, it you’ll appear needy and clingy. Instead, you want to lean back just a tad, with your feet slightly apart. You will take up some space and it will show that you’re easy and comfortable.
c) Smile, but don’t overdo it: with a bright smile, you radiate positive energy. By smiling all over the place at everything they say and do, though, you’ll go overboard. Let your face mirror a positive attitude, but be serious or deadpan when needed, e.g. when delivering a funny line.
d) Gestures: as I said earlier, hands out of your pockets! Use them while you speak. For starters, fold your hands in front of your chest for a good vantage point. I always emphasize looking into people’s eyes, so do it. Plus, address them all. Do focus on one person so you won’t appear all over the place, but give regular attention to the others to engage them. You’ll see that the person you address will become an anchor as you keep the others involved.
How To Approach: What To Say.
It can be any variety of things from “hello” to “I like ice cream!” What’s always worked best for me is clear, straightforward honesty:
“Hi. You guys look like fun, so I decided to come over and meet you!”
“Hey, I noticed you so I thought I’d talk to you.”
Don’t ask questions, they suck energy out of the interaction. Instead, stimulate the conversation with your own input. As with a single person, you can observe: “You laugh so much, you must be cool people.” Talk about the friends you’re there with, tell them why this is your favorite bar, or talk about that amazing one you discovered on vacation in Paris.
You see, if you have the single approach down, then you know how to approach a group of girls. One or more, it doesn’t matter. The most important realization for you is that numbers don’t make that much of a difference. You’re still there to enjoy yourself. Share that! Since you’re talking to a group, though, you want to make sure you keep them engaged on the same level as you would a single person – through eye contact and relating personally. Otherwise, you’ll end up losing them all. And again, here’s your most important advice: practice, practice, practice. Social dynamics are intricate, but you can find patterns and work with them.