One evening, a sinister phone call proved me right about the way I run my relationships.
I was doing a year of social service in a hospital. A girl did an internship with us: she stayed for a couple of weeks and we got along pretty well.
When she left, I asked her for her phone number. We had some common interests and I thought it would be nice to stay in touch. I actually called her a couple of days later, too, to shoot the breeze.
While this was going on, I had no idea another phone call was happening behind my back.
It was placed to my girlfriend.
“You’re dating Matt, right?” a female voice asked.
“Yeah,” my girlfriend said.
“You may want to know that your boyfriend is flirting up another girl,” the voice said and hung up.
When I went to hang out with my girlfriend that night, I found her furious.
But not for the reasons you’d expect.
Assuming Everybody’s Rotten.
She was raging against that unknown girl who presumed to know anything about our relationship.
She was my first girlfriend ever, and you bet she knew about that girl from the hospital. She knew I was getting along with her, she knew I was taking her number. It was all cool.
What was not cool was other people making completely unfounded assumptions about relationships they had no business in.
They had no idea whether we were honest and open with each other or not, but they chose to assume we weren’t.
What a Sad Life.
What a sad life you must have if you think the world is full of liars, cheaters and backstabbers!
I find life looks much better if you see good hearts, honesty and respect in people. I do. Sure, I may set my self up for disappointments, but imagine if I assumed everybody was a potential enemy!
All that stress, anger, negativity and heartburn. All the mistrust and vigilance I’d approach people with.
I’d be such a grump.
No, guys. That’s not me.
Realizing You’re Doing it Right.
That day, I learned how cool it really was to be honest with yourself and those around you. It’s not just a way to manage your life and relationships: with honesty, you can also shine a light against paranoia, fear and anger in the world.
My first girlfriend and I had it woven tightly into the fabric of our relationship, and that day, we realized we were doing things damn right.
Honesty and your Life.
Mind you, I’ve been dishonest more times than I can count – and it’s always been for selfish, egocentric reasons. Hey, it’s part of being human. You fess up, face yourself and do it better next time.
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