Whether you’re on your first date or your 100th date, good conversation nourishes any relationship. Without good communication, it’s easy for things to grow stale, and before you know it, the spark is gone.
Thankfully, it doesn’t need to be hard to keep the conversation going, even if you need a little help getting started. Today, we’re going to share with you some of the best conversation starters for couples, so you and your significant other have plenty to talk about.
Some questions are playful, while others are more serious. Some couples may not feel comfortable with some of the discussion points below, so you’ll want to pick and choose from the conversation starters for couples below. Fortunately, there’s plenty of excellent conversation starters for every couple in the list below.
Getting to Know Your Partner
For new couples, getting to know your partner is the most crucial facet of the relationship. The conversation usually comes easy once you’ve found a new boo, but are you asking the right questions? The questions below are perfect for learning more about your new partner so you can decide if they’re the ideal person for you.
- You can plan a vacation anywhere in the world. Where will you go?
- What things or activities do you do to feel like “you”?
- When you were in elementary school, what instrument did you play? Did you keep up with it?
- What is your proudest moment in life?
- What is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said about you?
- What types of things does it take for you to dislike somebody?
- What caused you to fall out of touch with your old friends?
- Do the people you surround yourself with make you happy?
- How old would you like to be when you die?
- Are you superstitious? What kind of superstitions do you have?
- Is there a recurring theme in your life?
- Would you consider yourself to be confident? Why?
- Who is the best version of you? What are they like?
- Where is your happy place? How often do you get to go to it?
- Where is your favorite place in your home or apartment?
- What movie would you like erased from your memory so you could watch it for the first time again?
- What movie would you like erased from your memory because you hated it that much
- What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?
- What are your rules to live by?
- When we die, what do you think will happen to us?
- Are there any life experiences you missed out on? Can you still do them now?
- Give me an example of a random encounter that changed your life forever.
- How do you speak to yourself? Would you be friends with someone who talked to you the way you speak to yourself?
- What are your pet peeves and deal breakers?
- What are the things that give your life meaning?
- If you could say anything to anybody on earth. Who would you pick, and what would you say?
- What are some things that you find entirely unattractive?
- Who is the most obnoxious person you know?
- What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in your life?
- Would you rather have someone give you ten million dollars right now, or would you rather go back in time to your senior year of high school, armed with the life experience you have now?
- What would your ideal life look like?
- If you could make a living in any profession in the world, what would you choose?
- Tell me about the craziest thing that’s ever happened to you while you were at work.
- What is the sexiest trait you think a partner could have?
- When you’re stressed or anxious, what do you do to calm yourself down?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you while you were sick
- Who is an old friend you haven’t thought about in a long time?
- Who is someone you’re always nice to, but you secretly despise?
- Do you read people well?
- How do you see the future? Are you hopeful or pessimistic?
- Who did you look up to the most when you were a kid?
- Are you good at reading people and situations?
- What was the healthiest period of your life? How about the most unhealthy?
- What’s an example of something you’ve been struggling with for your entire life?
- What’s the most significant thing in your life that you’d like to change?
- If it was totally up to you, and you had no budget, how would you decorate your dream home?
- If you could live anywhere in the world for the rest of your life, where would it be?
- Share with me a secret you’ve never told anyone else in the world.
- If you were on Death Row, what would you choose for your final meal?
- Do you work better under pressure, or when you’re relaxed?
- Do you believe in luck? Are you superstitious?
- What have you done in your past that you’re ashamed of? Are you comfortable talking about it?
- Would you consider yourself as built for the city, the suburbs, or the country?
- Are you satisfied with the career path you’re on? If you could do it over again, would you?
- What’s an example of something that’s unethical, but you still do?
- What’s something you do, that’s way more complicated than it sounds?
- Have you ever made a significant financial mistake? What happened? How did you recover?
- What do you think you were born to do?
- What’s something that makes you lose faith in humanity?
- What is the most painful thing you’ve ever heard?
- Do you have any biases? What are you biased about?
- What’s a luxury experience or item that you regularly treat yourself to?
- What’s something that’s seen as normal today that you think will be considered taboo or unethical in 100 years from now?
- When you die, what one thing would you like people to remember you for?
- If you were in a horrible accident and required life support, how long would you want your loved ones to wait before they pulled the plug?
- What is your favorite way to spend your alone time?
- What’s an example of something that you’re battling but don’t share with other people?
Asking About Family and Childhood
If you’re hoping that your relationship reaches the next level, you’ll no doubt want to ask them about how they grew up and what their family is like. After all, if it works out between you two, you’ll probably be seeing a lot of them in the future!
You’ll be able to learn much more about your significant other based on their family life. These questions should steer you in the right direction as you keep the conversation going.
- What is your earliest childhood memory?
- What were your favorite toys to play with as a kid? How did your favorites change over time?
- What were you most irrationally scared of as a child?
- What was your favorite family vacation?
- As a child, what tiny or insignificant thing did your parents or teachers tell you that has stuck with you until this day?
- Do you remember any of the words to the songs they made us sing in elementary school?
- What is your most embarrassing childhood moment?
- What trait did you inherit from your parents that you’re most proud of? What trait did you inherit that you wish you could undo?
- Do you still have any habits from your childhood that followed you into adulthood?
- Would you consider your family and upbringing to be “normal”?
- They say that kids are similar to their parents. What do you want to do to differentiate yourself from them?
- What made you realize that your parents were human, just like everyone else?
- What subject did you hate studying the most? Which subject was your favorite?
- What is your proudest memory from school?
- Did you make up any games to play as a kid? What were they?
- Which movie scarred you as a child?
Questions About Your Relationship That Get You Talking
Couples that have been together for a while have probably talked about many of the questions we’ve discussed so far. You’ve spent countless hours getting to know your significant other, and things are (hopefully) traveling down a more serious path.
At this time, it’s a good idea to focus some of your conversations on relationship topics. Your partner’s answers to these questions can provide you with some meaningful inference into how they see your relationship, and it will also provide you two with some useful information you can use to improve your relationship. Here are some of the best relationship conversation starters for couples.
- What do you think is our greatest strength as a couple? What is our greatest weakness?
- What’s a new hobby that you think we should take up as a couple?
- What is something I did for you that you thought was especially thoughtful or kind?
- What’s something we can do right now to strengthen our relationship?
- What tiny thing can we start doing every day to make each other’s lives better?
- How much alone time is ideal for you in a relationship?
- Do you think it’s essential for couples to maintain a personal sense of identity?
- What gift have I given you that you will cherish forever?
- Do you think we communicate well? What are some things we can do to improve our communication skills?
- In what ways do you see our personalities complementing each other?
- What’s your favorite thing that we do as a couple? What’s your least favorite thing?
- When you retire, where do you want to live?
- In what ways is our relationship better than your past relationships? Is it worse in any way?
- How do you see us in ten years from now?
- What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received? Who gave you that advice?
- What one thing would you consider to be unforgivable in our relationship?
- What do you think is the hardest part of being in a relationship?
Some Bonus Starter Questions
Still looking for more to talk about? Here are some bonus questions that provide an excellent opportunity to get the conversation started with your partner.
- What’s an example of something I can do to help us as a couple?
- Tell me about your favorite memory of all time
- What thing did your friends drag you to kicking and screaming that you ended up actually enjoying?
- What do you think is the best way for a person to improve themselves?
- When do you feel most like yourself?
- Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?
- Tell me about the most ambitious thing you’ve ever tried to do.
- What do you think are your best and worst personality traits?
- When was the last time you cried? Why were you crying?
- What are you most afraid of? What is something other people are scared of that you aren’t?
Conversations for Couples
Whether you’re a brand new couple, or you’re celebrating your tenth wedding anniversary, conversation is one of the keys to a lasting relationship. Each of the questions on our list presents an excellent opportunity to have some fun with your partner while you learn more about them in the process.
Our list of the best conversation starters for couples is a great way to get the conversation started, but don’t stop there. Make your own list of different questions you can break out on a rainy day with your partner.