Sounds like a catchy slogan for a new service, doesn’t it? “Body language flirting! Amp up your animal attraction!” See, when most people hear the term “flirting”, they think of conversation, smiles and a playful vibe before they consider the role of body language.
We don’t recognize how much it is an integral part of attraction, but beneath what we say and do, there actually lies a whole level of flirting that literally goes without saying! Body language is incredibly powerful and it’s by far the most neglected area of seduction. It mirrors your mood and emotions, and transfers them to the person you’re with. Allow me to show how you can present great body language by modifying your emotional state.
The role of body language in communication
In the 1960s, the prominent psychologist Albert Mehrabian found that only 7% of communication is determined by words. He left 38% to tone of voice and 55% to body language! His distribution has since been contested, but the consensus about the powerful impact of body language still stands over four decades later.
For your flirting and attraction, body language plays a twofold role, and it’s the classic chicken-egg situation, really:
First of all, your how you feel shows in your body language, and second of all, you can use your body language to influence how you feel!
Use body language to improve your state
Let’s do an experiment. As you sit on your chair, I want you to cross your legs. Fold your arms in front of your chest, lean forward. How do you feel? Would you say you’re very open and receptive now? If you had a person in front of you, could you easily emotionally connect to them?
Yeah, I don’t think so either.
Now, lean back, spread your legs apart a bit, open up your arms, lean them on the sides of your chair. Sit comfortably, take up some space. Do you feel the difference in your state? Now breathe calmly, and smile. These are some of the things you want to do when you’re interacting with a women. Your posture, in combination with good breathing, will release a lot of inner tension you may feel.
Some more pointers to build attraction
– Angle yourself to her instead of standing flatly full-frontal
– Tilt your head with curiosity
– Look at her from the corner of your eyes, squinting, with a coy smile that says “yeah, I know you’re up to no good”
– Be lively! Use gestures and movement to create momentum and energy
– Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact
Improve your state to spark great body language
Now, this is the really important part. While you can learn all the above by heart, it will only get you so far. Read the following closely: once you’re in a great, fun mood on the inside, your body language will fall into place! You have to learn how to amuse yourself in order to spark the vibes that will get a girl attracted. I’d like you to start practicing this: turn on a little voice in your head that constantly laughs at what happens around you.
When you interact with somebody, entertain that light-hearted part inside that just finds the whole situation hilarious. Don’t look for a reason! The emotion has to be there for its own sake. Imagine yourself as a mischievous kid with nothing but silly flim-flam in mind. Always ready to throw a pillow, stick out your tongue or bark at somebody just for the blast of it.
Now, the advantage you have as an adult is that you can control that kid inside. Interpret everything she says sexually so you can accuse her of being naughty. Also, make the kid stubborn, present playful challenges and resistance. And be 100% convinced of your own awesomeness.
“Right. That’s because you want my body.”
“Gee, that is just wrong.”
“So you’re a stalker, then?”
“I don’t think I can trust you after this.”
“Yeah I can totally see how you can’t live without being right.”
“So after work, you go to the park to stomp squirrels?”
The last important rule is that you must never stop seriously listening to her. With all the fun, sprinkle in comments that show you’re interested and understand what she says. Paraphrase some of her statements! Watch her posture and movements, and mirror her body language! That creates familiarity. You will notice how, with all these mannerisms, much of your body language will fall into place.