I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m a guy who’s good with words: I have a great vocabulary and can put my thoughts into expertly-crafted sentences. Yet here’s the problem I used to have in the past: Even when I was in a great conversation with a girl, I wasn’t able to keep her interest.

What allowed me to overcome my sticking point is finding out that the trick to attraction is to add some great body language to the mix to captivate a woman. Because body language accounts for nearly 80% of our communication, words are pointless without it. If you don’t deliver great body language in addition to good conversation, you’re not going to attract anyone.

Try this: Next time you have some time on your hands, take one of your favourite movies and watch it with the sound turned off. Now look at the actors and examine what they do to portray their characters and make them unique.

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Notice their movements, facial expressions, gestures or posture. Now, if you want to sharpen your own appearance, you’ll need to work on those very same attributes.

You can start with the following steps:

Slow Down

A general rule you should keep in mind. Move slowly, speak slowly, make pauses when you speak! Rushed people will seem aimless and insecure.

Facial Expressions

If you’re interested or curious about a woman, tilt your head while she’s talking to you. Maintain steady eye contact, and focus on her – look INTO her eyes, not just AT them. At a later point in the conversation, you may look into her eyes, then at her lips, neck and then move back. It will introduce some good tension. Also, there are facial expressions you can learn: me, for instance, I tought myself how to raise my right eyebrow when I was a teenager. Every morning I’d stand in front of the mirror until I had it down.

Smiles

be careful and conscious with them. If you smile at everything a woman does and says, you’ll come across as a needy little lapdog trying to please her. Confident and attractive men don’t smile a lot, even (and especially) when they’re being funny: delivery is the most important part of every joke, and being deadpan while saying something outrageous or crazy is pure gold. Also, if you’re sparing with smiles, it will be worth so much more when you do display one.

Gestures

Make your gestures clear and well-defined. Waving your arms about like feather-dusters will only make her duck, possibly also run. Instead, use gestures to visualize what you’re saying, and make them outwards – hand movements coming from your heart and going towards the person you’re talking to. You want to establish a personal connection? This is crucial.

Posture

Sit back and relax. Open up your body. Otherwise, if your arms and legs are crossed, you’re building a wall between you and the woman, signalling that you’re insecure – you have something to hide or protect. So take up some space! Spread your legs apart, have one hand casually dangling over your knee when you’re sitting. Ever notice how somebody looks more attractive on a photo when they’re angled towards the camera instead of facing it full-frontal? Use that effect to your advantage. A bit of tilting and angling can go a long way – just NEVER lean in. If you have trouble hearing what she says, motion her to come closer to you or move your ear closer to her mouth so she can talk into it, but don’t lean forward and into her personal space.

Walk

When you walk, be smooth and not too fast. A fast pace may get you places and can come in handy if needed, but it will also make you appear hurried and stressed. You wanna be relaxed and cool, so take some time. Walk upright, tighten your belly and straighten your back, keep your head up high and be present and aware of your surroundings. Watch how Al Pacino walks in “Carlito’s Way” (which is a bloody awesome movie in its own right).

Breathe

Do it deeply and consciously. Take in the air around you, you’ll feel how it vitalizes you as it goes through your body. This is life right there for ya. It will sharpen your senses and energize you. Finally, your body language should show that you’re perfectly comfortable inside your skin. You’re happy because you’re an attractive guy. Display that attitude, and you’ll know how to use your body language to captivate a woman attention.

  • Williams

    What a stupendously informative list, some people PAY to get this!

  • Barrett

    Great list of tips, much more detailed than I was expecting to be honest before clicking to view all. Smiles are a big thing and are particularly hard for some people like myself who love to smile. Makes me feel good to smile, it’s no so much for others benefit but I think your right that it can seem lapdogish.