Definitive Guide: How To Become An Alpha Male


I went out with one of the few guys at my office that are naturally good with women. I got to our meeting place and saw him standing outside, and I thought: “Man, this guy looks like James Dean”. His posture was upright, but relaxed, he was wearing a badass fitted black jacket with pockets and zippers, his hair loosely dangling over his forehead, and a cigarette casually stuck in the corner of his mouth.

If I was searching for how to become an alpha male over again, I’d probably model myself on that dude. Here’s why – and what you can learn from it.

Complete authenticity As a Man

The funny thing is, you wouldn’t immediately consider my colleague the most effective chick magnet. He is introverted and his voice is hard to perceive, especially with his Dutch accent. But once he talks to the ladies, they fall for his charm. That’s largely because he doesn’t make even the slightest effort to be something he’s not. Many would consider a quiet voice and an introverted, monosyllabic nature as a shortcoming they’d have to “fix” to get better with women. Not him.

What he does instead is amplify his personality to the fullest. He has figured himself out long ago, and he has learned to fully BE that person. If you learn one thing about being an alpha male, then make it this: never pretend.

Take Control Of Your Life

Get one thing down: my friend, this is your life. To go anywhere, you have to LEAD. (Read how to be the man women desire for more about leading)

Make conscious and deliberate decisions about all your actions. You know that everything you do or think will have an impact. Reaching for the carrots and hummus instead of the chips in the supermarket is a conscious decision, so is taking a boat trip with your friends, trying a new bar, hosting a house party, or talking to a woman you fancy. On the street corner. In broad daylight.

Leading means making decisions. You can steer your own life with deliberation, but your leadership becomes most evident in your social circle. If you set up a house party and invite all your friends over, it will have an immense impact on the way they perceive you: you are the host, the organizer, the social hub. The leader of the party.

Get some cool music, drinks, set up a flirty, fun vibe, and get everybody to bring their own friends. And make sure there are girls in the mix.

Appearance of an alpha male

The classic “alpha male” exudes physical and mental dominance. A technique like teasing (and I will give you another one in a minute) will often suffice to establish a fully “alpha” aura. Yet, by tweaking your looks, you can amp up the effect a lot.

Go to the gym and shape up. The shape you’re in makes an immense difference for your whole personality. A well-shaped body will not only look better, but automatically have a better tenure just by its tension. We have written so much about this in our other articles, I won’t go into more detail here.

Get the best clothes and accessories you can. If you don’t have a friend with good fashion sense, start reading magazines for inspiration, and to find a look that suits you. There are a lot of great clothes out there, but you have to decide what you, as an individual like. Three pointers:

– Put special effort into your shoes, they’re the first thing many women look at! They should be polished and pointy.
– Clothes should be fitted to flatter your body. Don’t just buy random shapeless shirts and jeans.
– DO NOT wear shirts with jokes and funny lines on them. Believe me. Don’t.

Stand Up For Yourself

Stop accepting when others walk all over or abuse you. Figure out your values and ideals, and then make friends with the idea that they’re actually worth a damn (I have to admit, that was a tough one for me).

Look, whatever you consider important for yourself, and right, IS actually right within your reality. If somebody steps on your boundaries and principles, don’t let them do it. Refuse to comply. Again: this is your life. You run it. Why?

Because alpha males do.

The above advice is to get you started on your path to becoming an alpha male. Find yourself, define your principles, values and boundaries, and then start BEING that person and LIVING that life. There’s a lot more for you to discover, but if you start adapting these skills and features, you are well on your way, and you will see from other people’s reactions how your assertiveness is working. From there, you can figure out how to be an alpha male on your own by listening, judging results and tweaking.

Frequently Asked Questions
How to become more of an alpha male when it comes to dating?

How about you stop being a wolf and start acting like a human?