I remember that one day when I was talking to an Italian friend of mine. She had recently moved to another country: “I am disappointed in the men here”, she sighed. “In Italy, the guys are so forward with us girls, we have to swat them off with tennis rackets. But here, it feels like nobody notices me.” On that day, I had a fundamental insight: women want to be noticed! This is one of the many pieces of the puzzle that will allow you how to understand women.
Here’s how I do it: I talk to them, and I ask questions.
To Understand Women: Spend time With Them
It’s so funny how anybody will tell you: “If you want to know something, just ask”, and yet, it only occurs to the fewest to ask women about what they want and feel. Of course, just walking up and asking “what do you want?” is hardly going to cut it. Your first step has to be: get women into your life.
I’m not telling you to build a harem here, or collect lovers like butterflies. Harry and Sally notwithstanding, you can actually just be friends with women. In fact, giving them the “let’s just be friends” line first is a nice technique to heat them up for ya, but that’s another story. Anyhow, guess what, female friends are highly beneficial. You don’t only have the chance to meet their hot friends, and the friends of those friends, but you also get to peek inside their hearts and minds. So…
- Get a female roommate and hang out in the kitchen when she has her friend over.
- Make friends with girls at work – or even older women, why the heck not?
- Socialize with the ladies, take them to the movies, do your favorite things together.
The opportunities to talk will come naturally, and so will the opportunities to listen! Your curiosity will get you a long way now.
Become comfortable around them
Just a side note. Of course, this requires overcoming that irrational fear of women that inextricably binds so many men to their right hands. If you’re one of those dudes, you need to push yourself out there. Get yourself a training plan. Start with two approaches a day and don’t judge the outcome. Then move forward from there.
Learn About Women By Asking Them Questions
Now it’s time to go more hardcore. With all the insights you accumulate from friends, you can get even more valuable stuff from women you approach or go on dates with. Let me give you a little nugget here: acknowledge that you are a student of life and love, and do not hide it.
Women will actually appreciate you for putting in all that effort to get good with them. So, as soon as a woman ends a conversation, or a date ends with the classic death-sentence “bye, it’s been nice meeting you”, or a contact fizzles out, get your balls together and ask her:
“Hey, I am really curious. We had this good start, but at some point, it seems like I lost you. What happened?”
Girls aren’t sure of themselves either
In fact, sometimes the girl may not be too sure about that herself, and that’s fine. See what she comes up with! Perhaps she’ll end up saying “actually, you know what, I don’t know that myself. Why don’t we go for a drink?” Others will give you very clear reasons, tell you where you did what to turn them off. This is hands-on knowledge – from the mouths of babes, as they say.
On the other end, if something turns out well and you end up getting her, you can ask her (preferably after you sleep with her):
“I’m really curious. When did you know we’d sleep together?”
What I’m saying is: Your curiosity will get you a long way. He who is not inquisitive will not learn about women, and he who will not learn about women will not get ’em. So throw your inhibitions out the window. You cannot lose here. Learning how to understand women means that you have to be around them on a regular basis!