When I was younger, one thing had me simply stupefied: why was it that some guys seemed to have an endless stream of women pouring into their lives? I looked at my social circle and thought: “Where the heck does this fella get them?” It took many years for me to understand one thing: the real question is not where to meet women. There are ways to meet girls anywhere you please! Let me give you some examples.
Look outside your house
No, I’m serious here. Let’s talk about the basics. Open your window and look outside. Do you see a street? Yes? Good. I can tell you, women walk around in that street. Right there, in plain daylight!
You need to get over the idea that you need to have a special time and place to meet women. It should become an integral part of your daily routines. Now here’s the catch: you don’t just start doing that from one moment to the next. You need to practice. Start here:
Look in places you like
Get a good idea of your interests, and think of places that fit them. You’re into music? Find music stores or live venues. You’re into reading? Go to libraries. Chances are you’re already doing that anyway, right? Well, my hunch is that women who share your interests do the same.
Approaching them there is easy because the context is provided, and you feel at home in the place. This is your kinda venue! You need to develop some intuition about where you are and what kind of approach is sensible, however. A library or music store is not a place where men usually approach women. A woman peeking into a book on photography is not in party mode, she’s checking out a book. Don’t assume she expects to be approached. Instead, pace her reality:
“I noticed you were looking at…”
“That photo is really cool…”
“I was thinking of reading that book…”
The classics: bars, coffee shops, parties, clubs
Let’s look at a different environment: bars, coffee shops, parties or clubs are designed for social contact. You may find it harder to approach here: there is no more specific context here to work with – besides a social vibe.
However, you don’t need to justify your approach as much here. Places like this probably have many women in them, and you’re free to walk about and chat with all of them. You’ll create a “map” of the place and have your girls on it. Feisty here, shy there, heavy metal fan at the bar.
To approach, you can jump right into a more fun theme: “I thought you two looked adorable and had to come say hello”, you say with a smile as your eyes say “So, who do we have here?”. Come up with some silly stuff: this is an environment where people want to have fun, and you need to BE fun to bring it to their lives.
“Are you from around here?”
“I wish they sold ice cream at the bar!”
Or walk up give them a high five and then pretend that you’ve been friends for a long time.
Finally: start approaching anywhere
Now, what if you see a woman you like in the streets, on a train platform, in your office building? My favorite in these situations is to become very observant. In fact, this will work in any environment. Watch, listen, smell, taste, feel: use all your senses to take in the scene, and you’ll be surprised how quickly random conversation topics can crop up.
“You smell that? I love the smell of freshly baked bread in the morning.”
“Hey, I really like the picture on your shirt. I’m curious, does it mean anything special?”
When you approach, be positive! Point out something that you genuinely find awesome, and she will appreciate you for making her smile. Don’t forget that she probably has a regular, ordinary life and is on her way to something predictable. Bringing some unexpected sunshine and distraction into her routine, you do a great thing for her.
Ultimately, while it is surely important to have an idea of where to meet women, you are even better off realizing that you can do so much more: bringing value to another person’s life does not depend on a specific place or time. Wherever they are, you have the freedom to approach them and spread some love. The “meeting” part happens naturally as you do it.