Listen: Picking up girls shouldn’t be hard; all you need to do is get a good grip beneath their shoulders and lift. I think even if it was this straightforward, most guys still wouldn’t be able to do it because of all the mental blocks they have:

“What if I lift her and she thinks I’m ugly? What if I lift her and then I don’t know where to take her? What if there’s another guy who just lifted her recently and he’s a better lifter?”

Now when you acknowledge that most guys are scared to death to converse with a mystifying woman, you have a recipe for disaster. Fear not, there is hope.

pick up girls

Learning The Art of Pick Up

It is possible to learn how to pick up girls even if you have never done it before. Sometimes it requires little adjustments to your personality, sometimes big ones. Regardless, starting from any skill level, you can go from “not being able to talk to a girl” to being very successful with women in a short period of time by following some key concepts. One of the best places to start is to hang out with men who are successful with women. By observation, osmosis and asking key questions, you can improve your skillset quite rapidly. If you don’t have the opportunity to hang out with successful men, then the next best thing is to read books by men who are very successful with women. They will give you the theory, the techniques and open your eyes to things that previously seemed impossible.

Hanging out with successful men will help you learn

Allow me a blatant plug, but read “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo and it will change your life.

Concept 1 : When picking up a girl, you must be detached from the outcome.

If you care about what the girl thinks of you, you are destined to flop. Let’s face it, there are going to be many girls that you are just not compatible with. Many of them just won’t live up to your expectations and you won’t live up to many of theirs. You must get over this and not care if you succeed or get rejected. If you care, then you will do everything you can NOT to screw up, and consequently, this makes you screw up. If you want to practice being detached from the outcome, you can pretend that you’re someone else when you approach. That will help your fear of being rejected because “it won’t be the real you” but instead your persona. You can see this guy pretending to be on a wheelchair approaching girls. Even if he gets rejected… he doesn’t care because it wasn’t really “him”.

Concept 2: When picking up a girl, YOU are choosing her.

When you talk to someone for the first time, you must realize that there’s a reason that you are talking to them. If you’re talking to a woman for the first time, it’s likely that she already knows you’re trying to pick her up. Many guys have tried to pick her up before and many will in the future. This does not mean that she decides if she will accept your approach or not.

Figure out if YOU like her before she has the chance to decide if she likes you

When you go shopping for a car, you might walk into a dealership, but does that mean that you will purchase the car? No way! The only way you’re going purchase the car is if it’s a good investment and the salesman is competent. The same applies to dating. When you go out and you meet a girl, keep in mind that YOU won’t take her home unless you like her.

how to pick up girls step2
Being happy is the most important step

Concept 3: Be happy, enjoy what you do and she will too.

Many guys approach this as a horrifying experience when in reality, it should really be a pleasurable one. If your objective is to find out what kind of person this girl is and then make her smile, then you’re likely to have many good and enjoyable interactions. If you try to “win” by picking her up, you’re doomed for failure. Most of the time, the best pick ups are when you aren’t even trying. Remember, we are not trying to make you into a robotic pickup artist. Instead, we want you to enjoy yourself and have great experiences with women.

Human interactions are not competitions, they are experiences

Concept 4: No immediate compliments!

What ever you do, do NOT compliment her on her looks. Paying attention to detail is good, but as soon as you mention her physical appearance, things start to turn ugly. If anything, you can mention her clothing, accessories or anything out of the ordinary, but do NOT mention her appearance. Even if she has the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen, refrain from mentioning it. You can tell her later… much later.

how to pick up girls step 3

Concept 5: Building attraction immediately

In order to build attraction, you must be able to convey signs of a good and desirable mate. These will naturally be present in men whom workout often and are already successful with women. However, what if you don’t have time to work out often and you aren’t already successful with women ? Well these are traits that you can LEARN from other men. After a while, they will become part of you and you won’t even have to think of them. You could hang out in some forums dedicated to girls but watch out, a lot of them is just the blind leading the blind. I can’t tell you how many ‘forum junkies’ there are that never really go out. Honestly, the best way to learn them is to hang around men that are successful. Otherwise, if you don’t have that opportunity and you still want to learn how to pick up girls, I strongly recommend reading the book Double Your Dating as it will give you all the keys to creating massive attraction instantly.

It’s one of the best books on the subject of picking up women because it paints a clear picture of what it is to be a man. I know this sounds a little counter-intuitive, but the whole pickup experience begins on the inside. Your personality and self-image is 90% of the conversation you’ll be having with women and the book helps you to completely re-invent yourself when it comes to your approach. I recommend it!

  • F-matt

    Decent info. I like the style. Style right that’s what it really boils down to. Now everyone has one weather you think so or not. And i’m going to assume the majority of you looking this info up have the shy style. Go with it, shy can work. Even say it’s your style. I’m doing research for a book I’m writing. And this is all very intriguing. Now I used to be quite successful with the ladies. Know I can’t. I ended up marrying ther girl of my dreams. But only after I figured out how to communicate properly. Try this: first, make sure you relax. There are so many girls out there. Next understand the worst that could happen is being shot down. (Falling off the horses, what do you do? ) next look at the girls lips as well as her eyes. It bypasses ther immediate defenses and to be honest can make them horney. Next, or probably first, don’t stand with both shoulders faceing them. It’s intimidating and you’ll from them out. Show one shoulder and lastly always remember to listen to what the have to say and have a response. Don’t daydream or think about them naked. Just listen! And remember in the beginning you’re the vacation, the get away. Don’t talk about personal issues or problems. We all have them they don’t need to hear about yours. Not yet anyway. Beyourself but don’t be afraid to hold some of your cards in your hands. Always leave them wanting!

  • Zack

    My biggest issue is starting off. I just can’t approach girls and start a conversation easily. Once I get comfortable it gets a little better but I seem to be caught in the “friend zone”. Pretty damn annoying lol.

  • Xavier

    yes its good for men to have a nice physique it completes women’s fantasies but if your stupid and have no ambition your off her list in no time. The key into having a beautiful woman is to have a beautiful mind remember that… having a pretty boy face and a nice physique is a icing on the cake for her its desirable something epic that would make her want more of you but if your mind is positive as well she will love you until the end of time

  • Xavier

    The thing that freaked you out is that he asked you out in his car… If it were me I would get out of my car and talk with you because I would want you to see who your dealing with from head to toe a man with good spirit and polite attitude… All I have to do is make you laugh spark up a interesting conversation and I got you then I would leave you wanting more but I would get your number though have you wondering when I’m going to call today? tomorrow? I say depends on our vibe I might call the same day to check on you because I feel we have something in common but if I’m just after one thing 9 out of 10 in three days… yes I’m a dog but if you pet me the right way I’ll be loyal to you that’s what most women want loyal men

  • Xavier

    The key of getting a girls math is to make her comfortable with you depending on vibe… let things flow naturally, be yourself, confident, charm… make her laugh sense of humor (don’t be a goof ball) gives her some kind of energy so it shows that your fun to be around with… have a mutual brief conversation then ask her out.. Be like “I would love to chat more with you but I have a meeting to go to in a few minutes how about we talk this over dinner?” Guess what she’ll give you her number… Oh yea with compliments that’s right don’t compliment her physical attributes right away wait until you go out on a date say she looks beautiful tonight I like those earrings it brings out the color of your eyes wait to say that at a perfect time like while you and her is waiting for your food or something that’s it no more compliments. When girls leave the table to go to the bathroom she should be in their for atleast 4 to 7 minutes A. she’s needs to pee B. Make up check if shes in their for 10 to 15 shes A. probably taking a shit B. Plan a way to get out of the date.shes talking to one of her girlfriends on the phone in other words the cockblockers or the ones that say give him a chance

  • Dagon

    Ok, I have been going to clubs for a while hoping to find a girl that looks approachable but never seem to find one. I can’t tell if they are there with other guys or a close group of friends and are not interested being approached. So is there a way to tell or do I just have to start trying.

  • alex

    I hate to sound cocky but I have met and successfully hooked up with many girls in the city I live in. When you start becoming a player, girls recognize that about you and want to play but, you have to be more careful with who you associate with and who they associate with. Many times I have been just talking to girls whose friends I had previously hooked up with and they told them and then they told everyone they knew so, just about every girl in the city knows me.

  • Player

    I am the best player i have had close to 10 different girls all who look like
    Take my advice get good at the game

  • mike

    Always remember.. he you believe it could work, It will work.

  • Mark

    Not a bad write up. I like the focus more on internal mindsets rather than external tricks or tactics.

  • Kid K

    If I told you guys that u will not be super awesome at picking up girls until 2 or 3 years from now. Would you still keep on doing it and persisting every day. Don’t get me wrong persistent does pay, but for you guys beginning it is going to take some time and you will always have your ah ha moments. I have been in the pick up community for years now, and I have met a lot of guys in it. A lot of them usually give up too soon! I just want to say yes, it is a long road ahead, but you just can’t give up. I’ve come to the point where I have become super awesome at meeting girls and I have not been dateless for the longest…Every week when I do go out and approach girls, I’ll find at least 2 to 3 girls per week that it’s on with.(Do the math 2 and a half girls a week multiply that by 4=about different 10 girls a month that I go on dates with.(Not counting the phone numbers of other girls that sometimes take a little longer than others depending on situations and girls from the past that I already am dating) I get about an average of 20 to 25 numbers a week.(Some I have more work to do, others it’s on within the next few days) I also get random calls and texts from girls that are in my phone out of the blue to go see them.
    I am not here to brag but I just want to say that I have gone through the ups and downs of pick up. I know when you first start off, or even when you have been in the game for awhile, you will have your share of frustrations, It’s not easy getting rejected a lot of times night after night, I also know that I am a human being and no matter what people say not care, sometimes it does hurt…but you just can’t let that affect you and your goal. You will have your good days and bad days…I have had more bad days than good days, but as I fixed certain holes in my game through experience. My game got better and better and now I have gone to a point where girls see something in me that they will approach me and open me up. The reason why is because I have social momentum going….A.K.A confident grows when you start dating more and more girls. Girls can see that in you!
    I am just on here to tell everybody that it is not easy….but don’t ever give up…we all have it in us….but it takes time and patience to get where you want to be. I suggest (Because this is what I started out) Just picture yourself as an ultimate playboy, just put a picture in your head that you are already there.(All the girls want you, your a stud, every girl are just dying and waiting in line to be with you) You might not be there yet but always picture that in your mind and always say that to yourself…and you will be there. It’s all in your head!

  • Mr. Sucre

    Persistence is the key, caz it will give you experience which leads you to sucess!

  • Mr. Sucre

    Hi mr squiggle!
    You need to continue talking to her, and make the things you can and can´t do, to make the things happen! I men with this, do the possible and impossible!!!
    But don´t her let notice this on you, that you are trying too hard!
    If you like her, you know that she only deserves the best in the world, and you are the best for her, in the world! This is how the alfa male brain works!
    But keep one thing in your mind, this could take days or years, and you need to practice along the way with other girls, caz you don´t want to make cheet with her!
    Be the hunter, be the predator and try to have some fun!

  • mr squiggle

    i met this girl at a party and have seen her a few times out since then and everytime we really connected.
    she has a boyfriend.
    i started messaging her and she says that things between her and her bf are not so good, she says she is trying not to like me cause she knows its wrong.
    do i keep talking to her? or do i cut my losses cause of the boyfriend ?

  • Hoping

    Haha that”s all fine and dandy but if you really want a girl to like you leave them hanging on something you didn’t even actually say. For instance if a girl asks how she looks instead of saying “beautiful” say “I’m pretty sure you know what i’m thinkng” or something like that.

  • Drishan

    well i totally agree with what u said….but i do believe an effective pick up line is kinda necessary when u approach a girl for the first time, just to spark interest from the opposite end!

  • just

    eh… in teens I was bad looking and don’t had any girlfriends…
    now I look very good, have money (instead of goin’ out I was reading books), now I have my own company, have a lot of money,I am good looking and girls are coming to me and then even sleeping with them after first date, then i tell em “now I have to go to work, don’t disturb me” hahaha…

  • Trance

    And i am sick of people judging by appearances,, you know people take 1 look at me and think im a playah >:[ i most certainly am not (lmao but its a good compliment thou) lol oh yeah and if a girl wants your number bad enough… She’ll ask YOU for it.
    1. be yourself, don’t try to b some 1 your not
    2. it isn’t good to be fake but it is good on your confidence and self esteem if your striving to be some1 you want to be i.e. a better person 😛
    3. remember that although most of the times it seems as though we must do the chasing, if you can work on your unique attributes sometimes it can be the girl chasing you
    4. be confident, its alright to compliment girls but if you feel like there’s tension maybe break a little laugh or if you start sweating under the pressure i find that a good way to ease off is if you say something in a really casual and laughable way like ‘wow is it hot or is it just me’.. (word of caution, this is something that could possibly go wrong)
    5. lol if your scared you complimented her too much,, take the pressure off her and start complimenting yourself lol it always works for me

  • Christina

    oh and have a good job and be funny

  • Christina

    Hey guys I have many good tips and I hate when a guy comes up and says “hey wanna hang out.” i mean WHAT THE excuse the language but is that the best u guys can do if u see that they have a lot of friends then just go over and start a pickup with em all oh and i hate it wen guys compliment me on my clothes looks r important but not priority so compliment her on her eyes or hair kill me if im wrong but girls hate ppl who say “you look nice today.” but we tend 2 smile and say thnx anway bcause we r more polite than u guys k
    i had a guy come up to me and tell me he was just watchin me for a while completley freaked me out till he said he decided 2 come over and she if my looks matched my personality -straight blonde hair,petite body,23,blue eyes- so yea we started talkin and turns out he works for forbes magazine (nev got his number though DAMN) well i think theres only 1 thing left to say and thats never tell us ur “just watchin them” makes us think ur a stalker

  • Sommer

    Okay, for the shy guys. If you just say hi and keep walking, she’ll never know you like her, so if you can’t start up a conversation, then say hi and smile, making eye contact. Some girls like to take charge and talk to a guy first, but if they don’t know you like them they won’t. Sometimes shy can come off as not liking them and that can be disappointing as they might like you. So get that point across.

  • John

    How do I approach this subject? Sometimes we get caught up in guys are this way and girls are that way. I beleive men need to understand that women are much like men in many ways, and much different then men in many ways. That many mistakes are because we didn’t read the situation correctly. Case in point, WOMEN WILL MAKE IT KNOWN IF THEY WANT YOU TO APPROACH. If they aren’t looking at you, they have no clue who you are, don’t approach. Can women get “talked into you” yes, much more so then men. This requires “patience” another thing lacking with us guys. I see guys posting here about endless screw ups, why? Because the girl had no clue who you were, and she did not make her intentions known to you. Women like talking guys, they like guys who are comfortable enough to see them 8-10-12 times before they speak other then hello, also there’s nothing wrong with talking about the ballgame, or something on the endless TV sets mounted around the gym. Its ok to be you, I hear these endless frauds lines, be this or be that. Simple if you ain’t lying about you you won’t have to remember the lies later. Be what you are I am, I’m 45 bald, gray eyebrows and shave me head cause I don’t like the doughnut look. I don’t try and lift a kazillion pounds at the gym because my back hurts enough as it is. When a young women is near me she gets a polite hello, period. I wear what I want there, gym shorts and a tee shirt, no muscle shirts. I use my best gifts, an easy going nature and my sense of humor. I find that most of the women who look at me are my age or older and I’m ok with that. Don’t be a fake, don’t be a fraud, make the best of yourself you can be, be clean, polite and cordial. Consistant behavior over the course of time will win out. Also be who you are in your beliefs, don’t try to be Mr. Women’s rights, or so overly polite your sickening. Stick to your principles and don’t be afraid to ruffle feathers. Heck this old bald headed guy has more women friends at the office then any one else, and I’ve never went out with one. But I know the ones that like me and some have made it obvious, its ok to be friends with women, its not always the curse of death. Women love to men with other women friends, nothing works better then another women giving you props with another women, or saying you good at this or that romantically. In closing, stop moving on what you want to do and study her she will give it away whether she wants your to approach her, her smile, her glancing, when in doubt occasional act as though you don’t notice her then do a quick turnabout to see if she’s looking, beleive me your catch her every once in a while.

  • private23

    ok so i just transferred to a new school and im shy around girls..i dont know why but i automatically care about what they think of me as soon as i realize im into i was with some friends in the game room of my dorm the other day amd she was doing homework w another girlfriend..i swear i sat there and tried to think of something clever or anytyhing at all just to make conversation. i was determined to atleast talk to her but she left when i wasnt looking, i sat there for about 30 min thinkin of something to say..well i paniced and went after her but when i was about to tap her on the sholder she was on the phone and then the light changed so she crossed the street..i felt like the biggest loser ever because my friends all have girlfriends so i dont have a wingman or anything and i dont really have any experience with picking up new girls..idk what to do.

  • Jan

    Note to self;
    Tease, cocky funny, accuse
    don’t smile at own jokes
    don’t want it too bad.

  • Jan

    This isn’t fun. They are all witches
    This isn’t fun. They are all witches
    This isn’t fun. Endophines stay with you forever.
    This isn’t fun.

    I have a question, when is the right time to go and talk to a lady.
    I feel they should rot.

    Androginous witches!

  • faris jillani

    please tell how can i impress one of the girl who studied with me in college she still did not talk to me right now how should i start please tell

  • dougieboy

    n yall say be yourself but it depends on how yourself is what if yourself is a lazy low confident boy or somethin do u atually think a girl with me attracted to yourself so i think from learin n readin this artiles there comes certain points where u actually have to “act” u no be smething your not bcuz sometimes being yourself wont just get u to where u need to be like i seen watch the movies the invention of lying n u no its a good thing me do lie these days i mean its bad but its good at the same time

  • Jason

    This advice is very good the book was better though it helped and IT WORKED! I tried it at a local mall and I followed what the book said and it helped but did take practice but it helped sooo much I very highly recommend buying the book!!!!!!!

  • Ben Around

    Be something. Interesting. Don’t talk to much about yourself, they will think you are mysterious. Work on improving yourself. People notice that. Get involved in activities where the type of women you like go.

    In college I worked hard, because I didn’t want to be like the guys in auto shop in high school. But I would fix cars for women, for example. I got a job as a college newspaper photographer. I’d try to make artistic photos. I didn’t want to score with every woman, I was selective. But some of the ones I did with liked creative guys. I also rode a motorcycle, and some were attracted to the bad boy image. I wasn’t a bad boy however.

    I was told, by women, that you have to make them feel special. Be interested in them, Ask them questions about themselves, but not too many. Don’t stare, don’t ask for the digits unless they offer. Don’t call after a first date, wait a few days and just say you had fun or whatever. You can analyze the situation, keeping your options open.

    I ended up getting the girl I wanted by 1.talking to her when I met her, we had something in common as we applied for a job at the campus radio station, a job she got. 2. Her car wouldn’t start as we were leaving, and we talked for a long time then I fixed her car. 3. At some point I ended up at her apartment, and later I put a sign on her door that read “Girls name, Prizewinning Blonde lives here”. 4. I made some excuse to see her, and started watching StarTrek with her, and KungFu. 5.We dated for 7 years, were married for 5.

    6. After we divorced, I thought about some of the things she didn’t like about me. I didn’t really do much about those things, but I did consider again that women want to feel special. I got involved in a charity where women would attend events, and met lots of them in the group setting. I also lived at the gym and changed into a buff guy. There are places you can go, bars work but you meet smokers and drunks at bars, and if you want more find another venue. A new age church perhaps. You get some wierdos there, but at least it’s not an obvious pick up scene, but it is a pick up scene.

    I eventually had my teeth straightened, later in life. I had cataract surgery and one result was i didn’t have to wear think glasses anymore. I used to be quite nearsighted.

    After 50 women or so, I’m older now and don’t chase them like I used to. I live alone in my house and consider what to do relationship wise. I prefer women who can take care of themselves and don’t really need a guy, but still like men. I like living alone after having to deal with various needy women. In my town the gym has lots of younger women, most aren’t going to be attracted to me anyways because I’m a lot older. And many are immature, are concerned about the type of car I drive or maybe they want to know my zip code, this is a giveaway that they are gold diggers and it’s best to avoid them.

    The best thing that worked for me is to be constantly working on improving yourself, people notice this. And be nice to everyone, even the ones you don’t find attractive. If two women are together, talk more to the less attractive one.

    This goes on but today I’d say stay away from the computer and go outside and do something you like to do, where woman are also.


    This stuff actually worked. After I read this article I got the balls and the courage to do half of this advice. It didn’t work out at first but once I got the hang of thing I was successful with girls

  • aetius

    1 way always worked really good for me is applying “the law of large numbers”, which means more or less that you should try pick up almost every girl you find somehow attractive every possible chance you get. by applying this simple mathematical rule your chances increase exponentially while the time before you pick up someone will decrease exponentially, plus by trying to pick up girls every chance you get, you sort of practise all the time, learning what techniscs work best for you and improving your skills, you might find yourself be called a lady’s man after sometime

  • T-man

    Being a tall muscular guy helps pick up girls in many situations, but even short middle aged balding guys can do well. It all depends on your target.

    Many years ago I had a friend who was older than I and much shorter and fatter. If I believed all the stories he told me about his conquests, I would have to think he was hitting 100 women to my 1. Then one evening he and I went out to a bar together and he introduced me to a couple of the women he had been bragging about. To call them “girls” would have been a massive undeserved compliment. I have no doubt he was boning them, and they probably considered it THEIR privilege to have him as a lover.

    The thing he had that I did not was the gift of gab. He had a line of BS that could make the homeliest woman in the room feel like she was Queen For A Day. He would tell them stuff they had probably not heard in decades – and willingly they believed. Now that wouldn’t work on a younger prettier girl because she is used to hearing it daily, but it was music to the ears of these grandmothers.

    The other advantage he had was owning his own company complete with a private office. He would go calling on these women by day and bring them back to his office by night so his expenses were minimal. He didn’t have to impress them with fancy dinner dates. They were just happy to get some horizontal exercise.

  • JL Black

    I have to say that most of the stuff you are saying comes with time and experiences of trying to pick women up! If you learn from you past mistakes while trying to pick up a women and change how you go about things you will learn what it takes to pick them up! Not only that but remembering that every women is different and that what worked for picking up Sally may not work for picking up
    Sue. Its not rocket science although it may seem like it at times haha. On another note chemistry has a BIG part to do with it, even though we may not sense it we still secrete pheromones and pick up on others, understanding that has a lot to do with attraction can help you out as well. I also believe that a certain level of confidence is needed to even approach a women and if you don’t have that you will stumble all over yourself and women can sense confidence in a man like hubble can spot a new star in space. I myself am a bigger guy but successful in almost every aspect of my life at this point, which helps my confidence level greatly and makes it easier quite easier to approach women and with out being cocky I might add and talk to them and feel them out and give them the chance to feel me out as well; despite being a bigger guy I have learned what works for me at least. All I can say in closure is that trial and error and learning from it is key, the confidence will build as you go but nature (pheromones/chemistry) can truly make or break it in the end.

    J.L. Black

  • T-man

    I watched an interesting 2004 movie on DVD today called “The Last Run.” It is about a guy who loses a knockout girl after 3 years of dating her. Most of the movie is about how he tries to forget about her and get his own confidence back.

    There is an interesting line in the movie where one girl he is trying to pick up tells him that it doesn’t really matter what pickup line he uses. By the time he opens his mouth she has already decided whether or not she is going to bed with him.

    If that is true, and I suspect that it is in many cases, our job is to figure out quickly what decision she has already made and proceed accordingly.

  • Justin

    If you give her your number instead of asking for hers it goes a lot smoother… Plus I’ve gotten calls from girls I talked to almost a year later just because of the card.

  • pothead

    i believe that most failures comes with men that are too confident, confidence is important but u cannot be too confident about yourself whilst talking to a woman. show her ur calm and confortable around her, because if u show a women that u are confident on picking her up ur doomed to failure

  • Jake

    Confidence is manipulatable, to the type of girl ur picking up usually indicators such as: with lots of friends, fake breasts and routine mirror checks… means confidence is good she is insecure so confidence and a good game will have her in the bag.

    be warned, this can also be seen as arrogance depends on if the person them selves is attracted..

    btw a pick up pick is one of the easiest her day is not that great u act like your day sucked to then you start having funn.. u should have a lucky night.

  • T-man

    Reading all of the comments it seems there are two possible objectives to meeting a girl.

    Objective number one is to develop a long term relationship that inevitably becomes more – possibly leads to marriage, kids, growing old together etc. If that is what you are looking for, forget about meeting Ms. Right at a bar/nightclub. Instead you should get involved in some activity that truly interests you. Hopefully it is an activity that also interests lots of women either as colleagues or as “customers.” For example, I recently observed the interaction between woman who was taking a computer lesson from a guy who (in my opinion) had a good shot at dating her based on my observation of her body language. Her eyes were looking directly into his eyes and they were flicking back and forth. In my experience that kind of eye contact is a sure sign of interest on her part. If you have ever watched any romantic movies, you may have noticed that involuntary eye flicking body language.

    Possible objective number two is a decidedly short term mission that focuses on sleeping together first, relationship later – maybe. In this case bars and nightclubs are a good starting point because they attract lots of women on a regular basis. In this environment every woman will have her own agenda. Your job is to first determine if the woman you are talking to has a positive reaction to you, and second if her goal is the same as yours – namely sleeping together first possibly leading to a long term relationship later. Some of them are simply gold diggers who want to be wined and dined and entertained – at your expense of course. Professional gold diggers will waste your time and money and give up nothing in return. Amateur gold diggers will give you the fun you want but you will pay for it indirectly. I would write off the professionals as soon as I figure out she is only interested in the material things she can extract from me. The amateur on the other had might be OK depending on how interested I am in her.

    The best (bar) advice is to adopt an INTERNAL attitude of detachment. Pretend that your conversation with any given girl is like feeding coins into a slot machine. You know very well that you will not hit the jackpot on every pull of the handle.
    EXTERNALLY, of course, you can’t come across to her as indifferent to the outcome. You still have to pull the handle with a smile and flair each and every time, but at some point you have to walk away if the payoff isn’t happening.

    Here is another tip. There are shy girls just as there are shy guys. The shy ones don’t get a lot of attention so you might intentionally scan the room for a shy girl that seems to meet your other criteria. Pay attention to a shy girl and your success rate just might improve immediately.

    Be wary of the close-knit group of women in a bar. They may be friends by day, but in a bar situation they are also competitors. When you zero in on one of them immediately, she scores a point with her group and the others lose a point. Better that you approach the group as a group and watch for a signal that one of them has real interest in you. Now you have just improved you odds greatly. Respond to her overture by bestowing your “point” on the one most likely to date you.

  • Gelo

    Hey guys I am 19, about 5’9, skinny and lean with (I’ve been told) a pretty face. I have had a gf for about 9 months then broke up with her almost a year ago. Since then I’ve really have been having no luck with girls. I mean I know I am attractive and
    and all (because people tell me and girls tell me they have crushes on me) but I really don’t know what my problem is. I think that I am just too picky because all the girls that announced thier crushes weren’t really my type. I am also very outgoing and friendly and tend to like girls that are very hot and can’t seem to have courage to go up to them. Any advice? I just want to have fun and hook up with hot girls and I know I am not bad looking.

  • ailen dephand

    To be yourself? Well i think it depends on who you are, for example if i sit in a pub and try to pick a girl up while being myself, i will probably get shot because i’m just too shy (and ugly).
    However, a few shots of vodka might soften it, and maybe i will
    get a little less shy as well. It feels suck to be sitting like a dumb ass and smile to yourself wile your friends get all the ladies 🙁
    The funny thing is that i know i’m not that ugly (i say that only because i started to get rid of some hair, naturally =[ ) and
    the point is that i know many ugly dudes (but very cool ones) who
    were with h-o-t girls- outer-look doesn’t matter…i don’t like this life =[ =[ =[ …

  • Ben

    I have to agree with being yourself. Its often repeated and many folks consider it a cliche, but I think its true. I always score only when I make no attempt to be a player. I talk to a female like I would anyone else,with no real objective to pick her up, and I do it with sincerity and genuine interest, and a little levity helps. Considering my history of shyness and anxiety, I have done well.

  • Coop

    So, I was reading through some of these…I dont know if I’m looking for help but I just have to tell lmy story lol. So I dont wanna come off as arrogant, I just want to be as accurate as possible. I’m 23, I played d-1 college football, I am 6-4, have abs, im built like a model, about 215 with 6 percent body fat. I also play guitar and sing, another thing girls like. In my life I have slept with 20 women, most of them average or slightly above average in looks and girls I would not have dated. I love being single and having friends with benefits, whenever I have sex with a girl it seems like they find someone soon after, like Good Luck Chuck. I’m a sub teacher and all of my girl students want me, not that I would act on this, but if 17 and 18 year old girls think you are hott, so do 20-23 year olds. Most girls say im extremely attractive, im not shy at all. I am very fun and never boring. I feel like I am picky so I dont even realize how many girls I turn down because of their looks. I live in an area that is desolate and there are no girls to choose from. Whenever I find a girl I want to date however, I get turned down, and alot of times by a far less attractive guy who is usually into drugs or abusive. I am a bit of a bad boy but I’m nice and I’m clean and not on drugs. I am starting to think that I cant get a gf because I am too picky and shallow, and because the girls I want most be afraid of dating someone like me cause there is nothing to change. Do girls want these losers cause they want to change them? How can a good looking successful guy like me never get a gf, none of my friends get it, and most girls never believe I’ve never had a gf, I’m trying to figure out whats wrong, I think I am onto it, but I’m just struggling finding a grasp on it, its frustrating.

  • jonsee

    watch the movie Hitch. Sounds corney but he said something that struck me. He said, “you can’t use what you don’t have” if your shy, be shy, if ur sweet be sweet, funny be funny and so on. If ur seeking a relationship, women look for truth. So use what you got. It shows truth. Give her space. Don’t smother her on a date. Make fun of urself, and when you feel comfortable with her boundries, tease her a little bit. Use what you have to the best. Be the best you you can be. I personally am I great conversationalist, but I know I’m not smooooth! Hence a lacking of one night stands. But getting a date and dates have never been a problem. If I was ever nervous, some may say nervousness shows a lack of confidence, bit what about being confident in the fact you can say it and be ok with it. And not take urself so seriously. I’d acually tell her, and we would joke about it. Express urself. I think it makes the woman feel more comfortable about how she feels. Accept who you are and know you can always improve and learn from others. Observe and observe some more. Have fun and always keep an open mind. Great tips on here.

  • Carver

    I hope that your advice works for me wish me luck.

  • ElDanio

    Answer to number 1 in your reply: I gave 3 reasons as to why people have no girl friends, you implied that I only gave one. My first reason is actually very true for many young adults but most seem to grow out of it sooner or later. Please do not treat something as a quote unless it’s an actual quote (ie. don’t use “”). What you did was paraphrasing and you did it wrong.

    Answer to number 2: I never implied that all shy people are weird. I also made sure to explain that weird is simply a personality quirk that does not follow society’s norms “(to society’s standards)”. For those that are not different, just socially reserved due to low self esteem (or other factors), they just have to understand that there’s no reason to be. There no way to be precise on this matter as it is much too complex to explain in a few short sentences.

    Your website does not discourage people from being fake. For example, your article on how to attract women states “Being a follower is boring and speaks a lot about your personality.” It goes on to state that you need to wear outlandish articles of clothing to attract women. Well, I for one like to wear conservative/classy clothes and stray away from anything I find “too much”. Yes, you are right, what you wear does say a lot about your personality. Therefore, putting on something that you would not wear normally for a certain event is putting on a costume. You are being fake. You can make the argument that this clothing is not actually a direct indicator of who you are and therefore, leaves room for you to play with it. Well how do you explain that using a “Cocky / Funny” attitude is a good way to attract women. Now you are telling people how to act… yes act… acting. These tips on how you should act are found in every single one of your articles. What if a person simply cannot act these things out (therefore, they are not a good actor). Well they complain and say: “I’ve been trying these techniques and they are not working!”

    People have all the right in the world to wish to improve their pick up style. I just want them to understand that it will not increase their chances at love.

  • El Danio,

    – Here we encourage people to improve themselves and actually discourage being fake. It’s all about being genuine, and if you read some of the articles, you’d know that by now. I can tell from your comment that you sound very angry without understanding what we write about here.

    1. The irony in your statement “get off your high horse” made me laugh out loud, thanks for that! Who says that anyways?
    Your entire message revolves around: “If you don’t have any female friends that like you, then it’s because you’re an ass and you’ll have a very lonely life.” I’m not sure if you noticed, but most guys here are actually great guys that just want to improve themselves even more.

    2. Shy people aren’t weird, they are just shy. The best girl in my life was shy and I would have never met her if I was shy. Like magnets, opposite attract: shy people don’t meet other shy people.

    This website encourages people to look past physical appearances in women and to be honest about what you do. Those so called “pickup artist situations” that you talk about revolve around simple things like walking on the street, shopping for lights at Ikea, having a bite to eat at a restaurant, hanging out at a park, walking your dog, social gathering with friends… and that IS how most people meet.

    The next time you decide to go on a stereotypical rant against guys trying to improve themselves, do your research.

  • Rick

    I go out to the bars a lot and i pick up my fair share of women but i get rejected too. My downfall is keeping them interested once we start dating… It’s like i expand so much energy picking them up that once I have them i loose interest or vice versa. Then we end up just being friends, idk maybe all the women at the bars are the same and i should start looking somewhere else. What works for me is scanning the bar and find the one that keeps making eye contact then approach and say something outlandish or funny, don’t buy them a drink or they will use you all night for that. It’s ok to get a lil cocky with them they like it. This works most of the time just keep them interested and wanting to know more:)

  • Derek

    Additionally, I’ve never had to ask for a woman’s digits. I have either found out they programmed it into my phone for me, or they just decided to give me their number or ask for mine. Sometimes I think taking my phone out to gets it on their mind, but I do it casually, by looking up something that we’re talking about online. It’s never my intent, as this has said, I don’t care about the result, since I am not aiming for anything aside from friend in the first place. If we click, we click.

  • Derek

    My method supports all of these and I can confirm they work well. Now, sure, I’m a bit of a nerd, Major is Computer Science, but I never have a problem landing bombshells. The key thing I do, is I don’t try. These girls are so used to guys trying so hard, that when I treat them like I’d treat any friend it throws them off. They drop their guard and get to know me. This means after they start to show signs towards me, or are comfortable enough to be close, I’ll wrestle around a little bit over stupid things as a joke. If they’re comfortable with that, I continue it til I reach my desired result. If anywhere along the line they show a negative reaction, I hold off. I don’t do that next step again for a while when it seems like she’s comfortable again. Negative result again? Drop the idea of dating and stay friends (tho I’ve never had to) Turns out Smart, Sweet, and a bit Morbid while still having a firm grasp on reality is attractive. Who’da guessed? And remember, It’s good to stay friends, because you can go out places and hang around town with them. Hanging out with women can make other women think you can’t be that bad, which hopefully, you’re not.

  • Nick

    well i read this and realized i already messed up because i just texted this girl whom i’ve known for a while and we have conversations all the time and we’re pretty good friends but i’m starting to like her, she said she was ugly and i told her she was gorgeous. but its almost as if she was asking for me to tell her that. i read step four and i’m not sure if i messed up or not, i’m so bad with girls lol. i come off better as a friend more than a boyfriend, any suggestions?

  • LatinAmericaSpeaks

    He’s right about not giving compliments aim for the clothes. Also play the cat and mouse game that always work. Don’t fall in love Rule #1. You fall in-love you are finished, let her fall in love with you first!. Second: Find out what she likes good point. Make a conversation about it! and always i mean always be compatible with the girl. Say wow you like that me too wow its like destiny we are so alike weird. It works they look for someone compatible. When you meet a girl after a couple of dates aim for the hair. Smell her hair but don’t tell her what you doing. She will love it. Also make it seem that your busy or your an important person. That attracts girls to they keep them pondering about you. that unfold you deck let them keep guessing at what you have in your hands. If no girls call you place your phone on alarm with a sound a beat of music. Let it ring and turn it of say its your ex-harassing you. lol girls like guys who are chased.

  • Zeus Hernandez

    alright here it goes to all you guys out there. I’m built, 6ft, smart, and i also hang out with many preps, jocks, and athletes; well lets just say my friends say that i must get a lot of attraction from the girls, when in general i don’t, why because I’m shy. Girls say I’m cute and all that but when it comes to picking girls up I’m horrible because i get scared and i think to myself damn I’m in a bad place and she is way to out of my game and hence the fact why I’ve never even tried picking up a girl; until the other day when i was tutoring at my Spanish class with my peers, and so i got called up to tutor this girl out of the blue, the girl was pretty attractive and cheerleader she was pretty smart she had like 3.5 gpa, just the fact that she needed to catch up on some Spanish because she missed a whole week of it, and so my story continues i made very good eye contact with her, i was honest with her, i treated her well, and i through in some humor just to lift the mood up and it did. So coming towards the end of her tutor time i asked her for number and i mean like i never even talked to this girl and she was very attractive and she gave me her number, i was like no way i was just being myself and i got this girls number. what i am trying to say guys is just be yourself, kind and boy will it get you far with the ladies recommended!!!

  • gilblo Paul Nasser

    I am 23yrs old and I have never succeed to date a single girl and every time that I try something go wrong. I don’ t really know why. I have graduated from university and I am now going to start with a mixture of professional and school live. And i am really affraid not to be able event to date a wife for life. Could you help me by given me some advice?
    thank a lot I am waiting your advice.

  • @Cornelius: You should ONLY hang out with a girl if she really wants to see you.. otherwise you’re both wasting your time. That being said, arrange for a time and then call her to say that you’re going to be 5 minutes late. That’s a subtle way to confirm that she’s going to be there without actually asking: “Are you going to be there?”

    @Tony G: Hey man, congrats on the success. Great conversation starters are usually related to current news or gossip. If something big just happened, then talk about it with everyone and it will be your best conversation starter to pick up girls.

  • Annette

    Great read, very interesting and useful information.

  • Fuzzyslipperz

    You have made my day. Thanks for the advice

  • gumby

    Sal- Thanks for the response. Good advice I think. I have done this I think.. but still my mind busy. haha. 😛

  • TONY G

    Hey just reading some of the comments and I think i may be on the right track but Im still kinda stomp. SO I decided yesterday to go out and use some opening line I just learned to start a initial conversation. Also using a pen and paper old school style. so i ended up getting 7 different numbers. not bad for a slight over weight guy. what would be a great conversation starter? also what type of topic should i talk about?

  • John

    James – just chill and be yourself, don’t put the woman up on a pedestal’ start a conversation by telling a funny thing that happened to you today, chicks love that.

  • Cornelius

    Hey man I read your comments and I think their quite good.
    I have a question for you: What if you were suppose to meet up with a chic and then she doesn’t let you know if she’s gonna make it. Do I phone her or just let it go?

  • Sal

    Gumby – just chill – dont just bail when they get heavy because most of the time they’re just testing you. Most of them want to know that your not in it for a quick wham bam … so chill and joke around – usually works for me

  • James

    Thanks 4 the tips, I definitely need 2 try this out 🙂 I am soo nervous around girls, There’s a girl I like, and she says hi to me but I get nervous say hi and put my head down 🙁

  • Your Sole Mate

    Great read, very interesting.

  • gumby

    Hey USA! I hear ya. Sort of. I find it hard to want to create relationships when they are usually so draining. Most women seem to want to suck the life out of people. They want children and marriage. They don’t want you to go out with your friends. they want to be with you ALL the time. etc. I have seen this OVER and OVER again. Why can’t women just be casual but still have a good relationship???? i would want to pick more up if it wasn’t so HEAVY.
    thanks for listening.

  • pvt snowball

    i think these tips are great and it can really help but personally i feel that there is no ‘way’ of picking up chicks, as long as you be yourself, keep eye contact and participate in the conversation ( don’t just nod your head and agree, talk to her so she knows more about you ) you’ll succeed almost every time

  • jackel

    Well lots of good advice on here from a lot of different types of people. i would just like to say you can do anything with enough time.

    There are so many ways to fall in love that the possibilities are endless just keep your head straight an Jr in your pants. Until you know each other well enough to see that’s what you both want.

  • uusa

    wow, nice tips u guys have here. I have no problems talking to girls, enough tricks to get a date… however, my problem is that, as soon as the date is over, my interests go away. I feel tired of keeping up to all the whining. I’m 25 years old and I haven’t met a girl who melts my heart. It usually takes a date for me to see all their flaws and that’ what turns me off. Maybe I need a therapy.

  • AxZxN

    I don’t have too much confidence in myself and I need some more tips on getting hot women. I’m have a lot of acne and I like this cute cheerleader girl named Natalie but I don’t think I stand a chance. She’s in my Spanish class and I sits 2 seats from me… I don’t even have the balls to work up the courage to say hi or to let her know i exist .. any tips to help me out?

  • zak

    well i have no problems snatching girls up my downfall is i get bad girls! i don’t know why maybe its the fact that very few decent women go to the bar, i have yet to find a woman that doesn’t cheat, or hit the pipe and i know that I’m god in bed sooo…..?

  • kaka

    i think complimenting a girl on her appearance is good like dang girl you are fine you should come hang out with me and my home boys at my house so we can get to know each other a little better … that’s how i get all my girls lol : )

  • A girl

    Women have eyes just like men. We notice small things just like men do. We noticed if you made an effort with your appearance no matter how small. We notice if you look like you just came from work and came to the bar.

    Make an effort to look decent. Make an effort to smell good. And talk about something other your interests. If all you can talk about is your interest then you need to expand outside of yourself.

  • ali shalilian

    hi i like a girl but i don’t know how to talk to her?
    the cause is we are living in iran and in our culture is not allow to hang out with a girl ! and other problem is i am a little fat and i’m not very attractive ! another reason is her father doesn’t let her yo hang out . so that’s it my love story

  • Tommy

    I can get girls to like me but i can never really take it to the next level, it seems like an impossibility finding the courage to tell her that i want to be with her or kissing her. I just procrastinate until she is picked up by another guy or goes to him herself, and it allays breaks my heart every time that happens. I guess I’m just too afraid of being rejected and looking like a fool.

  • julie

    I hope guys read this and GET it…this is what girls want…myself included.

  • doberman

    Some really good points made on here… and a lot of great questions..where to start.

    @yearsgobuy – I have the same problem as you but know this. Pay very close attention to her when you talk to her that way she can catch on that your interested in WHO SHE IS rather than just wanting 2 shag. Cuz it ain’t your social skills. There’s a phrase you might like – ‘don’t put a woman on a pedestal’ – hope that helps

    @atlast – that’s right. -PUT IN THE EFFORT- Can’t stress that enough. What’s really funny is when your into her and she’s into you but both of you just can’t seem to get that across.. and that usually causes the whole thing to just get messed up in the end. PAY ATTENTION. Know her birthday, know her last name, know what her folks are like and how you would love to meet them cuz of “x” whatever. That’s KEY. It shows your interested.

  • atlas

    Hey peeps….. I am what you would call a jock. I’m not trying to boast but I am known to be very successful with the ladies. But for me I have realized that you only find decent girls if you put in the effort…… wow them, make them feel special. If you go into a room looking for an easy hookup generally your gonna end up with just that, an easy girl….. and that’s ok if that’s all your looking for. But I personally have done that enough times to know it gets old….. good luck boys! Happy hunting!

  • Scuba Steve

    On Concept 1: One way to make sure you are detached from the outcome is talk to as many girls as possible. I meet at least two new girls every weekend, and it certainly keeps me from caring too much. When you have 10-20 girls that you can hang with whenever you want, in different cities/schools, things work out pretty well!

  • yearsgobyquickly

    Hi, I think I’m one of those men who are less confident around girls they like. I can be casual and funny and a really great guy around girls I don’t find attractive but around girls i like, i get really shy and quiet and less confident. I consider myself to be okay to good looking because I care a bit about how I dress and look.
    How can I overcome this? Even if I don’t care about the results, what if I meet that girl again? I have a lot of pride and I don’t want to feel shameful for being rejected and upon meeting them again, I may feel embarrassed.

  • Chris Calo

    Ad: Hey good luck, it takes time to build enough confidence to pick up girls, but if you persist you’ll make it.

    Chavonne: All very good tips, thanks for the contribution! I especially like the part about not trying to trick girls into liking you, they’ll see right through you.

    Doug: Nice story Doug, you touched on a good point, you should ‘force’ love. It’s something that just happens … and if it doesn’t, then that’s Ok. It will eventually.

    J.R.: If her best friend dislikes you, then I’m not sure how good friends you are with the girl. So asking her out wouldn’t really ruin your friendship (since you don’t seem to be really close). The best friend doesn’t like you? That seems to be a big obstacle… It’s a bad place to be in and sometimes the friend doesn’t like you for no good reason. I’d work on disarming the friend first: you can be direct or indirect, it’s your choice. A direct way might to simply go up to the friend and tell her: “Listen, I know you don’t like me but I really like your friend, I just want you to let you know that I’m going to ask her out and if we do go out, I’ll treat her with respect.” (Then go ask the girl out). If that’s not your style, then realize that the friend doesn’t have to like you, but at least respect you.
    After that, go for the girl you like!

    Hello: Good to hear.

    Colin: Very true, it’s where you’re coming from. People see past the game when you’re picking up girls.

  • ad

    Hey guys and girls, thanks for the good advice, i have never been very good at approaching or attracting women and thus my confidence is very low and im guessing this must show when i do try talk to women 🙁
    just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to try help others find love in their life, i really feel like i have more know-how now and hopefully this will boost my confidence and chances 🙂
    i have read your posts and tried to take it all in, and already feel a sense of achivement and i havent even left my house, so from when i wake up tomorrow i will try to remember all of this and walk around with my head held high!!
    once again, thanks you lot, all the best,
    from a long time lonely (hopefuly to soon change) lad..

  • chavonne

    THE GREATEST ADVICE YOU WILL EVER GET FROM A WOMAN..OK, here it goes gentlemen: 1.The old line “just be yourself” is true, the kind of woman u want is not a dumbass so she will see right through a playa 2. Tell a woman what kind of relation u want with her (yes, this is a bold move) But there are girls who only want to fool around b/c they have busy lives and dont want relationship baggage either. Deceit makes our blood run cold.Trust me, women want to know your real intentions immediately. 3. DONT BE OVERLY AGGRESSIVE AND HOSTILE. If a girl turns u down DO NOT call her nasty names, u only prove to her that u r insecure & abusive and that she made the right choice in not giving u her #. There are other girls out there. 4. Organize the date yourself, ALL women want a man who can take charge positively, if we are doing everything then we feel like your mother, not cool, MORE LIKE- B.O.R.I.N.G. 5.Expand your knowledge about whats going on in the world so u can start and build convo, most guys dont know what the hell to say after the approach has been made b/c 90% of the time they talk about manly stuff with their friends. Catch up on culture, the arts, politics and social issues. Expand your mind and you can be a great communicator w/ women. (tip- The guys you hate know this info but telling other males decreases THEIR chances of scoring with babes). Become great men, treat women with respect please and have a great 2009. Bye guys!

  • Doug

    Just be yourself. That’s the oldest advise on the books and by far the best. Most intelligent girls will see right thru the “game” you are bringing. Just be honest and dont wear a front. Remember, love takes time. Never rush it. Just like a flower, you’ve got to water it and give it plenty of sunshine… Then like the bee, you get the goods. You will respect each other more in the long run. If she says she wants to be friends, it might be she is trying you. Just to see how you react. Either way everyone always needs a friend, right? I picked up my wife the first time we met. I was 17, she was 20. It wasnt planned, It just happened. we dated for 3 years & decided to save ourselves for our marriage, and now after 17 years and 2 sometimes wonderful children, we are still happily married. She is my very best friend.

  • J.R.

    I really like this girl in my school but, her best friend dislikes me for some reason. And I work out every day and I have done so for like 20 months someone please help. I mean we have been really good friends for a while, but I’m scared that if I ask her out it will ruin our friendship.

  • Hello

    This really helped I scored on the epic babe of the century in my whole school. This was one of the better/easier concepts to follow

  • Colin of Day Game Dating

    I think that everybody is looking for systems that will work for them.

    I don’t believe in a system or strict rules. In the past I did, but from what I have seen, anything can work, compliment or not, if you are coming from the right place. (It will work)

    Vice versa, not much will work if your coming from the wrong place.

    Maybe you have heard this before, but its so true!!! Its all in the mindset. If you feel deserving, worthy and let go. The rest works…

    Still, interesting comments.


  • bopperblast

    no matter how much eye contact and game you pull, if the girl isnt attracted to your looks your not gonna get anything 95 percent of the time.

  • chacha pasoori

    i found your tips very useful.

    god bless u
    but i failed coz i fell in love with her

    : O (

  • tony


  • nik

    I know the feeling. I have never had trouble with girls approaching me (which is what usually happens). But for some reason I can’t approach them. Usually when they approach me and I get their number, I call in a day or two and they have lost interest by then. My problem is trying to take it to the next level from getting numbers to actually getting dates. Weird huh??

  • salim

    I personally think it’s 80 percent looks (face,physique,hair,height) You got all 4 of those and you should be successful at attracting and picking up women regardless if your game is crap! Let’s face it, we all know the sexy beautiful women are 98 percent of the time with the tall, built, jock!, or the skinny, pretty boy. I try and try; Never successful and it kills me.

  • Lorisha

    I am A Female, and i would strongly suggest, that commenting on looks is good just not too much on the physical appearance of their body structure more their eyes and hair maybe *that shirt looks great on u* would work it makes a girl feel more comfortable with themselves, makes them not think *ok i dont look fat, or ugly he thinks i look cute thats good* thats but when approaching a girl just randomly start talking to him about something uve heard about her like for example if she likes to play sports (like i do) be like heyyy whats up? i saw u playing (whatever sport it was) example-soccer you were really great! is that going to be your future career? or something cause itill get on a good topic just make sure ur 100% positive of what their favorite things are. DO NOT ASK THE GIRL ON A DATE ON FIRST APPEARENCE AND APPROACH!!! it freaks girls out, ive gotten asked by a guy if i wanted to take a drive with him in his care…NOT COOl it freaked me out big time that i just gave the *i’m busy-quote* never works. Girls like to know about guys to if they seem pretty interested in your apporach mention something you love to do and wait for a response if she responds and says really thats cool! and asks you a question about it, your flowing shes interested and you have a good chance of her later on likeing you or so. Most importance be prepared of what to say do not go talk to her randomly and be like hi…and wait for a reply then looking cluelessly with no response to what you wanted to tell her, its akward. Don’t stalk the girl, it freaks them out alot, look into her eyes…i personally love it but hate it when a guy looks in my eyes it gives me butterflies and then i wan’t to get to know him because of the great eye-contact. DO NOT CHECK HER OUT! even if u think shes not looking her friends might be, itill make her feel uncomfortable…i wish you all good luck just keep it cool when you talk to a girl, and something thats real good when you notice that the girl is interested and hear she might like you play cat and mouse, its usually a great idea to get it in the girls mind that you need to do more to have him, because he’s a serious person. do something funny, girls love to laugh so just do something stupid but not to stupid and be funny girls love it. ( i wouldn’t really spend time on being nice to people to get her attention. i find them quit suck ups, but keep in mind don’t be an asshole)

  • rusty

    pick up line: what u say after a woman turns you down to pick up your spirit. There’s no magic line that can be said to make a woman like/want you. The best way in my experience is just being able to talk, and if you mess up and say something wrong, joke about how that came out wrong. You trip walking up to her(like I’ve done several times) talk about how you’ll never be a ballerina. This says don’t compliment them on there looks, that’s half true, never say anything about there body its a died give away that’s all you want. Say something about there hair or there eyes but only after you two have talked for a while. Keep eye contact as much as possible it shows interest in what there saying. Confidence is a must but don’t go in there thinking your going to get any girl in there cause many woman see it as arrogance. There is a lot more I could say but most of it comes with experience like body language and the eyes. If you can read eyes, a person can know in the matter of seconds to keep going or cut your losses.

  • MMA Fighter

    Private, that’s a damn good advice! 😀

  • Wambo

    I was decently successful with women in high school, but went through a pretty bad relationship, which really killed any “romeo” I had in me. These days I just think about all the things that went wrong, dwell on them and think I can’t get a girl because of them. I try to stay positive with the idea that I’ve dropped quite a bit of weight and really changed in appearance for the better since then, but I just keep thinking “I’ll wait until I’m in a better place before making a move.” I think meeting girls is all about confidence, if you lose/don’t have it, it will kill your hopes for hooking up.

  • Arek

    There’s no shadow of doubt that I’m gonna follow these advices but I’m sceptical abot that.It’s hard to define what is the best way to pick up a girl.One stupid mistake is enough to screw it all up.If I manage to pick up anyone I”ll let you all guys know.

  • Jim Davidson

    I agree with a lot of what you say but I have one stronjg objection. I am quite succesful with girls and I have friends who ask my advice. There are little things i can tell them, but I would never tell them to look at what I do and try an repeat it. I have most success with women when I feed off their energy and respond to that in a specific way. Your right about not expecting anything at the beginning, and about enjoying it, but for me that means letting the experience guide you, letting the woman show you how she wants to be seduced.


  • Private

    off to a date now good luck 😉

  • Private

    hey i tried the cheap tricks before. NONE WORK! if you want a girlfriend, even if you are ugly, just do good deeds in front of her, not too obvious though. For example you take her for lets just say Ice. You see a kid,he dropped his ice on the floor. go up to the counter buy the same ice and give it to the kid. Another thing, compliment her, and later go in for a kiss.(make sure your in a private area, maybe a lake or any other place, don’t pick a place like the beach cause then she will think your just grabbing ass. Make it romantic, and smooth. if this doesn’t work…. your screwed !

  • john

    lower your standards, raise your batting average

  • avinash kumar

    good advice

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  • frandini

    about if she think you are cute but you are scared to talk to her

  • dr smooth

    well as i was reading your very intresting advice i couldnt but help notice that one of your tips states not to give them complments such as eyes and hair but it seems to be in my experince that most girls are most fond of when i complment them on there looks and appernce and that is usually how i get the ladies if you pardon me saying so i got many many numbers well doing so but on ther other hand i just let my self be seen as a friend. and while the best pick up lines are when you are effortless some girls do enjoy the odd corny pick up line and could lead to another intresting topic for conversation

  • SmoothDoc

    Hai Mr. Calo,

    I like to invite you to the Real Man Conference, 20 and 21 September in the Rai Theatre in Amsterdam.

    It will be massive. You should be there!



  • Charles

    I agree, with nearly all the tips, and telling people to read DyD- but, i dont believe in drastic changes all to pick up “the girl”,y not just let the guy develope his own method which will suit is personality and then he can become the succesful guy that he wants to be.
    but very well explaind over all

  • Matt

    I effed up tryign to pick up on a girl yesterday at the gym. I’ve lost a lot of weight and been weight training for 7 motnhs. I look a lot better (as girls have come up to me to say) and I have talked with them but I always eff up the delivery when trying to get their number. Well, last time we had a really good conversation. Instead of accompanying her to stretch with her after cardio, I immediatley asked for her number and it freaked her out. I did it at the wrong time, I think timing is important. I now wish I would have done stretchign with her, and then asked for it. I dont know maybe I was doomed from the start? What sucks is I hardly ever get a chance to talk to a girl, and when I do, I usually mess it up. This is the seoncd strike I’ve had in one week. My rejection was in front of a lot of people at the gym too. So I felt miserable about it and still do. I know that I shouldn’t care so much, but it’s my track record that makes me care; rejection after rejection after rejection. I’m 28 years old, and the girls my age are 20x smarter than they were in my teens. I was able to pick them up much easier back then,sll I know. I wish I could replay that situation.

  • Tony

    Your advise are contrary to some other that I read at another site most likely to be this one.You said that i am doomed if i try to win by picking up. The other site that was emphasizing on confidence said that gals adore confident men. And that making your intentions known yields the best results by daring the gal to luv you on the first date than beating around the bush while the lady already knows what you are up to.This only gives her time to find out the best way to put you off. More over I’ve seen my brother making it with two gals by hitting the nail on the first date. I tried it and was thrown in the ‘friends’ zone. Having known that the friends is a sentence to disparity. I never pursued beyond the ‘hi’ we exchange on pavements. Which i the best?

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  • Brian

    i was expecting cheap tricks but these are all very good tips, indeed.

  • ally

    hi there person with same website name as mine! i saw your comment this morning and decided to check it out–the advice about not mentioning her physical appearance when you first go up to a girl is v good advice indeed and one not enough people seem to mention.