It’s a sunny spring afternoon. As you walk home from work, you reach the bridge where you cross the river every day, but today, something’s different: a young woman is standing at the railing, taking photos. She wears bright, colourful clothes and a little flower in her red hair that shines in the sun. Boy, she looks gorgeous. And you wish you had a way to talk to her right there and then.
If all you’ve learned about “game” applies to night clubs, bars and parties – social surroundings – then it might seem daunting to approach a beautiful girl during the day. In reality though, it’s actually much easier to learn how to meet women during the day because they aren’t constantly being hit on by other men.
What makes Day Game different?
Let’s look at the obvious first: the location. If you go out in the evening, you usually approach women in clubs and bars. When, instead, you run into a woman during the day, it can be literally anywhere: in parks, cafés, on train platforms, in shops, malls, college campuses, galleries, the plain ol’ streets or a bridge across a river.
Consider this: bars, pubs or clubs are specifically designed for social interaction during the night time, and “mingling” is quite usual and expected there. During the daytime, on the other hand, people are probably not in “social” mode: they are often busy running errands and getting somewhere, or they’re out alone minding their own business. If they’re with friends, then they’re most interested in each other. Contrary to, say, a bar setting, you cannot just assume that they are ready to be chatted up, or that they even have time to stop and talk.
Oh, and one more thing: as they wander through their day, people are usually bored out of their skulls. We’ll see in a moment how you can use that to your advantage.
How to approach: your smile
Your first step is to display a big, confident smile. I don’t mean the kind of smile where you raise the corners of your mouth. I want you to smile with your mouth and eyes, actually, your entire face, heck, your entire body. Have a curious smile, not a creepy one.
Adopt this mindset: “I am a curious person, my life is happy and I’d like to get to know this lovely woman.” This is what your smile should convey. What’s the idea behind this? Well, you’re not trying to get something from the person. You have so much happiness in your life that you can actually share it with them.
In addition to that smile, establish eye contact as soon as possible.
How to approach: the first words
First of all, say something as easy as “excuse me?” to get the girl’s attention. You may also tap her on the shoulder, or go with the situation: if she looks dreamy, wave your hand in front of her eyes. She will likely laugh. Acknowledge two things:
1. She’s busy
2. She’s bored
With that, I mean she’s most likely busy doing something boring. Now, your first contact should convey a friendly and fun energy (hence the smile): by bringing that to her life, you present a welcome distraction that cheers her up. She will probably want to keep you around!
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False Time Constraints
Next, introduce a “false time constraint”: this means explaining that you won’t stay very long.
The wrong way to do this:
– “I’m sorry to disturb you, and I won’t take up much of your time”
Three right ways to do this (and there’s a little secret in here that I’ll disclose further down):
– “I’m on my way home from work, and I noticed you.”
– “I’m meeting a friend in a minute, but I wanted to stop and say hi”
– “I have to catch the bus, but… are you a tourist? Your camera sure says so.”
You can be direct or use the situation to start the conversation – by pointing out something she does, wears, has, a gesture or feature, an event or object in the surroundings, a smell, sight, sound, taste, feeling, sensation, or a specific or general observation (specific: applies to this very situation, general: applies in general). Either way, you signal to her that you’re in a rush yourself (who cares if you really are), which gives you three advantages:
1. She won’t feel crowded
2. She won’t think you’ll muck up her schedule
3. She’ll realize that she can lose you again any minute
Now, from there, yes, you want to be fun – but: don’t try too hard to be clever. This is about having a nice and easy conversation, something that both of you will enjoy while it lasts – and then, if you have a good vibe, you can always meet up again.
Imagine you’re talking to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Wouldn’t you come up with something you should totally do together soon? “Hey, I gotta run, but why don’t we go to Frankie’s on Thursday for a drink? They have live music.”
Yes. Right there and then, set up the next date. Hey, you may even go on an insta-date: “You have nothing to do right now? What the heck, let’s grab some ice cream.” If you can’t do either (hey, we’re not always creative), end the conversation with: “I liked this conversation, how can we continue it?”
So that’s our little introduction to how to meet women during the day. Now, I kept the most important bit for last: your little secret. To make your daytime approach successful, you have to show the woman early on – almost immediately – that you are interested in her. If you don’t, this will just be another generic, friendly conversation that she will forget about by the same evening. Don’t walk into that trap – be a man and show you’re curious about her.