I lock eye contact from across the bar. Her: petite, blonde, 19-23. Not sure. Don’t care. As long as she’s confident, fun, and has id.
The look lasts slightly longer than is comfortable for either of us. Awesome. She turns away first blushing and whispers in her friend’s ear. They are staring at me. I hold my pinky to my mouth like Dr Evil, and coyly twist my toe in circles on the floor. They laugh.
I slam my empty mug on the sticky counter, straighten up and march forward. They’re slightly startled but smiling enough. I jut out my hand and say, “Sup ladies!?”
It begins…
“Uhhm, Hi?” She says.
“Excuse me; I need to borrow her for a minute.” I say with out-thrusted hand.
Her friend looks slightly amused and slightly concerned. The girls look at each other a few times, then back at me.
“Hey lady,” I exclaim, “I’ll bring her right back. This is REALLY important. The fate of the world….oh boy.” I lift her hand and pull her through the crowd. I don’t look back. I hope the other one isn’t following. I feel no resistance on the arm. Compliance. Very Nice!
We move into the back, to a gawdy leather couch. I fall onto the seat and slap the space beside me with my hand. “Sit!” I say with a smile. She looks around, a little sheepishly, but amused. “Sit,” I ask more politely. She does.
We size each other for about ten seconds. The tension grows until she laughs and say’s, “Who ARE you!?”
“I’m Zardoz. Who are you young lady?”
“I’m Christine.”
“Why did you bring me here Christine?”
“Haha. What? Dude. I didn’t. You brought….”
“Shhhh.” I press my finger to her lips. “You had me at hello.” I wonder if my finger is clean. I suppose it doesn’t matter.
I ask her about her life. She’s a nursing student. I tell her I am afraid of nurses, and gaze about nervously as if for escape. She grabs my leg and explains she isn’t like other nurses. So I lighten up. I like this about her. I pick up her legs and put them across my lap.
I ask her about her life. Her dreams. Her family. And then I use that information to tease her to tears. Until she is punching me in the arm. And then I apologize and start again.
After five minutes our foreheads are pressed together and tongues dance like drunken lizards. Sexy.
Adventure time
I break it off, look at her eyes in a very serious manner and say, “You need to tell your friends you are coming with me. We are going to adventure together.”
“But we just met.” She complains.
“Did I say we are humping? No. I said tell your friends we are going on an adventure. We are going to watch cartoons and eat cookies.”
“I love cookies!” She claps.
“I know. Now go…go little one. I’m right behind you.”
“Ok. I’ll tell them.”
The Dilemma
As she’s talking to her friends I spot a beautiful brunette. I move to approach and then hesitate…..struggle with myself. Arrrrrghhhhh! Must….approach! But allllmmmmoooost pulllinngggg! Ahhhhh! Must Pick Up Girls! Must Attract Women!
I almost make a decision to give up a sure thing for another type of adventure. This would be ego based. It may kill the entire interaction.
I see her speaking with her friends and pointing back to me. One girl seems to be unsure. She is saying, “no.” I move in and introduce myself. After a few laughs, a few minutes of rapport, a few high fives, I move the girl outside with, “Hey come out for some fresh air?”
As we laugh and hug in the night, a cab driver passes by slowly. I kiss my girl and wave him over. She exits my life as fast as she entered. That’s how to pull a girl from her friends.
