Tough Love: Why Real Men Get All The Women


If you’ve ever seen any action movies, then you’ll know that it’s usually the most bad-ass, reckless hero that gets all the women. The guy that takes the trash out and looks cool doing it, the guy that doesn’t settle for second best, the guy that will beat you down if you disrespect him… yeah, that guy… HE gets all the girls. If you want to be the guy that women dream of, then read on because we’re going to pull a quick 180 and have women dripping over you in no time.

Real Men know: They already love me

Back in the day (and by that, I mean before my balls dropped) when I was around girls, I used to think about how I could attract them to me. Ironically, the only thing I’d actually do was tense up and behave like a chicken with his head cut off. Guess whom I went home with on those nights? That’s right. I went home with myself and my broken ego.

Things got better when I realized that women spend as much time looking for a partner as us men do. It’s not a thought you have to switch on inside her before she considers you as a mate. No, she does that by default.

That’s because attraction is a natural process between men and women. It’s just there.

Don’t force it

Some women quickly decide they’re not interested in you, though. If that’s the case, deal with it and move on.

If she checks you out, or smiles at you, plays with her hair, asks you questions, you can assume she’s curious. Now, you can either nip that in the bud or give it room to grow. Remember: you force it, you kill it. So: next time, try being calm, relaxed, and laid-back.

Treat her like your pal, not some great light that’s entered your drab, wretched existence and brightened up the gloom and dismay with the radiant smile of divinity. Just talk to her, and give her the space to check you out more.

Be worth a damn

We generally believe that things of value come with a price tag attached. Guess what, in love, it’s the same. Why would any woman value a man that throws himself at her, signed, sealed, delivered (sorry, Stevie Wonder)?

Yeah, you know, she wouldn’t.

Attach some conditions to anything you may do for her. For instance, when she asks you what you do, tell her “I make you smile”, or “I’m a pirate”. When she asks again, tell her you used to swab the decks, but they let you sit in the bird’s nest now. Any personal information is a secret at first! Make her earn the truth. She doesn’t have an automatic right to it just by talking to you. If she chips in her own info, you may give her yours.

But even then… Don’t be too serious at first, man. Nobody wants to hear about your job as an accountant.

Be playful and trigger emotions

Good transition, huh? So this goes with what I said before. Playful men are more attractive than plain honest ones. See, you have to realize what you’re there for. Do you want to attract her, or do you want to read her your CV? For fuzzy warm gut feelings, she doesn’t need to know your life story.

So learn to come up with some off-the-wall fun stuff that you can say in a conversation. Make it tangible, and make it about experiences. Talk about the hot wind hitting your face as you ride down a desert road, how the motorbike vibrates below you, and how full and strong it sounds. Believe me, it sounds better than “Yeah, I have a motorbike.”

Be Mister Movement

Most guys stand still all the time, and they never make the girl change her position either. If you’re just a bit more animated than that, you can make a big difference. Use gestures (but calm and calculated ones – they should be between you and her, not all over the place) to illustrate what you say, and don’t hesitate to take her hand and physically lead her somewhere.

This is crucial! By doing so, you take her away from the initial context, and establish a new one where it’s you and her.

Get your priorities straight

What’s important for you and her? Is it your past? Your personal background? Your DVD collection? Your favourite movie? Your professional qualifications?


Remember, when you want to know how to attract women, what’s important is how she feels lying in your arms. What’s important is the taste of a ripe strawberry on her lips and tongue when she shares it with you in a kiss. What matters is the feeling of your nose brushing against her neck as you smell her hair, and the touch of your fingers softly running across the back of her hand and up her arm. It’s the fantasy trip you take with her to a beach in France, the feeling of the setting sun on her skin and the sand underneath her feet as the Sangria dances a slow waltz on her tongue, and your fingers waltz on her back. Can you spark these experiences in her?