“You reap what you’ve sown”. “Life’s what you make it”. Don’t you love those catchphrases that contain a world of value in just a few words? I have another one for you that is both easy to remember and powerful in its message: “stop needing, start wanting”. It’s time you take some steps to reduce how needy you are: today’s article is about transforming it into a strong notion of “wanting”.
How To Stop Needing
Life’s not fair. Did you ever notice how you attract women best when you’re on an emotional high, when every bit of your life is 100% under your control? You have a virtual aura of success and happiness around you. But what happens when things go south, you lose your job, get dumped, experience a tragedy? In these moments, when you actually really need somebody by your side, you lose all your attractiveness. Doesn’t it suck?
For many people, that sense of “needing” something or somebody to fulfill their life is more than just a passing state triggered by bad circumstances. They live with a constant feeling of incompleteness, of lack. Needy people are also known as “Energy Vampires”: instead of enriching the life experience of others with their presence, radiance and positivity, they drain these things from their peers in an attempt to fill their void inside, or replenish their dried-up resources. Doing so, they leave others feeling depleted and negative.
One surefire way to destroy anybody’s attraction or affection is to throw self-deprecating remarks: “I bore everybody to tears”, you say, and then you sit there, staring into the void with morosity. I’ve seen people do this at social gatherings, parties, or within small groups of close friends.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think about it: most people who spend time with you do so because they like you. You, however, soon start worrying about what they think, frowning and fretting in their presence: then, when they’re no longer cheery around you, you inevitably conclude that you’re a boring dope. What’s next? Depression?
If you hadn’t worried in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Start living a life of abundance
You want to move your points of reference inside: from now on, make the love you have for yourself your main measure for a good life. How can outside events throw you off-track if your strength is rooted inside?
Here are a few notions you should make friends with as quickly and deeply as possible:
It’s okay to love what you see in the mirror.
If you don’t like it yet, go out and buy the kinds of clothes you feel great in, change your facial hair, practice your smile, train yourself to raise one eyebrow, do some sports. Whatever you feel suits your personal likes and ideals is what makes you awesome – and it’s okay to look in the mirror and say: “I am awesome”. Other people do NOT want to have to tell you that so you’ll feel good. They want somebody who already feels good about themselves. Become that person.
You have great talents and qualities
You are musical. You can fix things. You have amazing facial features. You are tall. You are strong. You can memorize things in an instant. You have no trouble learning new languages. You have a strong voice. Your pencil drawings are amazing. You protected the weak back in school. You love your parents. You are sociable. Does any of this apply to you? What else is there? Get hobbies, read books about the areas in your life you want to improve, take action, follow your passions!
Start Wanting Wealth and Abundance
When you have that down, you will stop needing. Now, you can start WANTING: consider the shift in your priorities. You now know that you will do great even if you lose your job, your car explodes, your house gets annexed by aliens, your friends move away, you don’t have a girl. You’ll do fine just because you know you have strengths, qualities, achievements, looks.
You are then in a position to let a woman know: “I don’t need you in my life. But I do want you.” This is a powerful notion! She will realize that your life is great as it is, but you want to make it even better by having her in it – how different does that sound from “my life is shitty, please be with me so it becomes bearable.” After you master not being needy, you will feel less afraid to talk to women and attract them: your inner strength allows you to go out and enrich others’ lives with your reality.
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How to stop being emotionally needy when my boyfriend isn't around?
You can't. You'll always feel like that. You need to just stop. This may be really harsh, but it's pretty simple. If you stop doing these things then there is no longer a problem.
You can't control how you feel. You CAN control how you act.
How to stop being seeming needy?
1: Love yourself.
2: Worry about who YOU love, not who loves you.
How to stop being needy introverted and emotionally crippled and timid?
I would suggest seeking professional help.
Other than that be aware of your self-talk which are the things you think about/to yourself and don't let you put you down.
Practise meditation/prayer (whichever feels better to you) so you can feel more calm.
Make a concious effort to take note of the things you like about yourself/ or are good at, make a list.
If you geta worried thought like 'Katie thinks i'm boring' (or whatever) try just thinking FUCK IT.
Remember that we're all just dust waiting to become dust again, so nothing really matters and you might as well not care about what people think of you.
Find something to be whole-heartedly passionate about.
I hope in some way this helps. x x x Sending you love
How to stop being a needy bf in ldr?
I had a 3 years LDR and we broke up because of this reason. We become dependend on each other and I can say that I regret for being like this. I know it's hard especially if you are used to spend much time together but you have to understand that sometimes people need space, especially when they go home (you want to spend time with your family, old friends etc). If she's talking less with you when she go home it doesn't mean she doesn't love you as much as you do, it means that she needs her space.
Try to control it until it's not to late otherwise she will start to feel invaded.
Tips: you can write to her in the morning cute stuff like: *I wish I could see ur morning face next to me* then let her breath. This way you will let her know that u miss her and love her but also give her space.
Also don't be pushy. If u write/call her during the day and she doesn't respond instantly, don't become a drama queen. It only means she's doing stuff and she will write to you when she will have the time to give u a properly answer.
Don't ruin it. pls.
How to stop being needy and easily over attached?
Not gonna lie I still struggle with this sometimes. I think the key is to have faith in your rational thoughts more. Even if it doesn't feel right to trust your rational thoughts (i.e. I shouldn't be overly attached to this girl because I don't even know her), if you force yourself to then you will begin to feel a lot better about things.
Hi, I'm Chris Calo
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