“You reap what you’ve sown”. “Life’s what you make it”. Don’t you love those catchphrases that contain a world of value in just a few words? I have another one for you that is both easy to remember and powerful in its message: “stop needing, start wanting”. It’s time you take some steps to reduce how needy you are: today’s article is about transforming it into a strong notion of “wanting”.

How To Stop Needing

Life’s not fair. Did you ever notice how you attract women best when you’re on an emotional high, when every bit of your life is 100% under your control? You have a virtual aura of success and happiness around you. But what happens when things go south, you lose your job, get dumped, experience a tragedy? In these moments, when you actually really need somebody by your side, you lose all your attractiveness. Doesn’t it suck?

For many people, that sense of “needing” something or somebody to fulfill their life is more than just a passing state triggered by bad circumstances. They live with a constant feeling of incompleteness, of lack. Needy people are also known as “Energy Vampires”: instead of enriching the life experience of others with their presence, radiance and positivity, they drain these things from their peers in an attempt to fill their void inside, or replenish their dried-up resources. Doing so, they leave others feeling depleted and negative.

stop being needy

Stop worrying

One surefire way to destroy anybody’s attraction or affection is to throw self-deprecating remarks: “I bore everybody to tears”, you say, and then you sit there, staring into the void with morosity. I’ve seen people do this at social gatherings, parties, or within small groups of close friends.

This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think about it: most people who spend time with you do so because they like you. You, however, soon start worrying about what they think, frowning and fretting in their presence: then, when they’re no longer cheery around you, you inevitably conclude that you’re a boring dope. What’s next? Depression?

If you hadn’t worried in the first place, none of this would have happened.

Start living a life of abundance

You want to move your points of reference inside: from now on, make the love you have for yourself your main measure for a good life. How can outside events throw you off-track if your strength is rooted inside?
Here are a few notions you should make friends with as quickly and deeply as possible:

It’s okay to love what you see in the mirror.

If you don’t like it yet, go out and buy the kinds of clothes you feel great in, change your facial hair, practice your smile, train yourself to raise one eyebrow, do some sports. Whatever you feel suits your personal likes and ideals is what makes you awesome – and it’s okay to look in the mirror and say: “I am awesome”. Other people do NOT want to have to tell you that so you’ll feel good. They want somebody who already feels good about themselves. Become that person.

You have great talents and qualities

You are musical. You can fix things. You have amazing facial features. You are tall. You are strong. You can memorize things in an instant. You have no trouble learning new languages. You have a strong voice. Your pencil drawings are amazing. You protected the weak back in school. You love your parents. You are sociable. Does any of this apply to you? What else is there? Get hobbies, read books about the areas in your life you want to improve, take action, follow your passions!

Start Wanting Wealth and Abundance

When you have that down, you will stop needing. Now, you can start WANTING: consider the shift in your priorities. You now know that you will do great even if you lose your job, your car explodes, your house gets annexed by aliens, your friends move away, you don’t have a girl. You’ll do fine just because you know you have strengths, qualities, achievements, looks.

You are then in a position to let a woman know: “I don’t need you in my life. But I do want you.” This is a powerful notion! She will realize that your life is great as it is, but you want to make it even better by having her in it – how different does that sound from “my life is shitty, please be with me so it becomes bearable.” After you master not being needy, you will feel less afraid to talk to women and attract them: your inner strength allows you to go out and enrich others’ lives with your reality.

  • 171franklin

    Right, right, right again, women hate needy men, just like men don’t like women who are too needy, it’s very unattrictive

  • christot

    Thanks for your post mate, you are right – so many things are linked to our confidence and well-being that just makes us attractive anyway.

    I have struggled with my confidence for years. One thing I have been doing lately is to go out more and socialize. It seems unnatural at first but now I like it a lot – of course, drink always helps but I don’t want to overdo it.

    Do you have any other advice for putting your suggestions into practice? Hypnosis maybe?