Picture this: you’ve been going out with a marvelous girl for a while, and you start feeling a deep affection for her. So you try to make the girl fall head over heels in love with you – and whoops, the whole relationship goes south from there.
Most guys have been there. What happened? Well, you made one fundamental mistake. But before we go into it, let’s look at some basics about getting a girl’s love.
Figure out what you want
What is it you want to achieve? Are you looking for her company in order to fix something in your life? If so, you’re trying to fill an emotional hole inside you and consequently you aren’t coming from a place of strength. Insecurity and low self-esteem are a greater buzzkill than Buzz Killington. You need confidence, determination and independence, so sort out your issues and take control of your life first. Don’t wait for things to happen, instead, take the initiative and check out the highly recommended man transformation program. (This thing is huge)
The first mentality change you should adopt to create attraction is to not be afraid to check her out. Screen her! Is she the right one for you? Is she funny, interesting, clever, witty, sexy? Does she merit your attention and love? Remember, you don’t come for free. She’ll have to earn you just as you have to earn her. Two strong individuals are the best basis for a healthy, balanced relationship.
Now you can go get her love
Rule number one: spread good vibes. She won’t love you if you brood and worry. Here’s an exercise: focus on your breathing and tone down the noise in your head. Let go of yesterday and tomorrow, and bring your attention to the here and now. Be present, live the moment. You will find beauty and happiness.
Oh, and avoid the dreaded “best friends” zone. Inject some body contact and sexual innuendo into your interaction early on. Know what you want and don’t beat around the bush about it. Be upfront (not intrusive!) about your intentions.
Slow down. Relax. Take it easy.
If you’re cool and calm, chances are you won’t turn into a blithering idiot with the girl. You have all the time in the world, so don’t rush things. Doing so will screw it up. Think about it: if you chase somebody, aren’t they going to run? Let her discover you bit by bit, and leave her room to breathe and be. Take it one step at a time, and don’t shoot for any outcome – the only thing you’ll hit is your foot. Who cares where you’ll be in one month, tomorrow, at the end of the night? You’re with her now and having a great time.
Displays of affection.
Compliments and presents are good things if done right. Make them on your terms: don’t give in to her every wish, instead tease her a bit and surprise her at a later point. You don’t want to look needy and clingy, so place your displays of affection carefully and make them count:
Instead of buying her dinner, look up a recipe and cook her something you know she likes.
Instead of buying her a huge random bunch of flowers, buy her a few of her favorite ones.
Make your compliments specific. “You’re hot” is unspecific. “Your hair is beautiful. Do you spend a lot of time on it?” is specific.
Show her you listen and care about her as a person.
Looking and listening will also keep you from overstepping lines, e.g. the line where teasing becomes annoying or the one where you start rubbing compliments and presents all over her (eeeewwwww).
Share memorable experiences with her.
Anybody can go to a restaurant. It’s ordinary, and having an exciting conversation over a couple plates and a candle is harder than in your city’s shopping alleys, on a boating trip, in an amusement park or at the zoo. A bunch of monkeys flinging feces can entertain you for hours!
Create comfort and commonalities. They can be inside jokes, memories or a unique understanding you share, anything that binds you together. Make her feel like she’s known you for years!
So, what went wrong when you tried to make that girl fall in love? Well, a great master once put it like this: “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Don’t stiffen, “try” to run a script, or worry about what to do next. Just be natural, nonchalant, present, have a good time and don’t worry about the outcome. Stay in control and take it easy – she’ll love you for it.