Do you sometimes worry that you’re running out of things to talk about with your girlfriend?
It’s a legitimate fear to have, by the way. Any good boyfriend knows that women need conversation in their relationships. And meeting that need would be easier if you simply had something new to talk about every single day.
But what if you feel you’re running out of things to say? This article will “rescue” you from your predicament, and make sure your girlfriend’s need for conversation will be well-met for as long as she’s with you.
What Actually Counts as Conversation
Most guys naturally think that conversations with their girlfriends should always be interesting, or positive, or exciting, or meaningful, and so on.
While it IS good to have conversations like that, you’ll inevitably have days when you DON’T have anything interesting/exciting/meaningful to talk to her about. What should you do then?
“Conversations can be ordinary and mundane… and STILL help build a happy relationship”
Fortunately, conversations don’t have to be profound. According to a study that tracked the conversations happy couples had with each other, conversations can be ordinary and mundane… and STILL help build a happy relationship between you. [R]
This article will introduce you to nearly a dozen different kinds of conversations you can have with your girlfriend, ensuring you never run out of things to talk to.
The key phrase to remember is this: “Past, present, and future.”
Talking to Your Girlfriend About the Past
Look into your recent or distant past, and see if you can enrich your current conversation with your girlfriend with a story or two. Good things to talk about include:
#1: A Good Sense of Humor
Does your conversation remind you of a funny story you heard in the past? Bring it up – it’ll enrich the conversation and keep it going for a while longer. Positive humor use has been found to create more satisfying relationships between couples. [R]
#2: A Positive Outlook
Does the current situation remind you of a positive experience in the past? Bring it up – not only will you lighten the mood, but your girlfriend might be enticed to bring up an experience or two of her own, as well.
Talking to Your Girlfriend About the Present
Good things to talk about the present include:
#3: Interesting Things During Your Day
This one’s pretty easy – you simply tell her what happened during your day. The more interesting or busy your life is, the more there is to talk about!
#4: How Is Her Day Going
This is also very easy – you can ask her how her day went. Your girlfriend will love this – it shows her you’re attentive and sensitive to her needs, and patient enough to listen to her rant if she has to.
But what if you are both busy at work? Then sending her quick messages over text on the phone asking her about her day is a great start, at least until you next meet up.
#5: Inner Feelings
Your emotional health is every bit as important as your physical health, and so you’ll need to take care of it too. Being honest and open with your feelings, especially with your girlfriend, will help you stay on an even emotional keel… and it will strengthen your bond with your girlfriend, as well.
#6: Her Emotions.
It’s extremely easy to get your girlfriend to talk about how she feels about anything – girls love expressing their thoughts and emotions. Just keep in mind that when she does, she’s not looking for solutions – she’s looking for sympathy and support. Be sure to give it to her.
#7: Mutual Observations.
Are you both experiencing something at the same time? Talk about it. Give your opinion, and then ask her for hers. It’s a great way to start a conversation wherever you might be, whatever you might be doing together.
#8: TV Talk.
Ah, TV. It’s been called the biggest productivity drain in the history of mankind. Fortunately, when building a relationship with your girlfriend, you’re not looking for productivity – you’re looking for intimacy. Watch TV together and talk about the shows you watch – it’s something you can do for an hour every single day.
That’s right – when you have a disagreement with your girlfriend, don’t give each other the silent treatment. It’s a golden opportunity for conversation – don’t waste it!
It takes a confident, level-headed guy to tell his girlfriend: “Hey, got a minute? We got to talk about this…” and then work out a compromise. Every problem you solve together as a couple will make you stronger in the long run, and help lay the foundations for a more productive, more satisfying relationship. [R]
Talking to Your Girlfriend About the Future
It’s also healthy to talk to your girlfriend about your immediate and distant future together. Good things to talk about include:
#10: Plans to Go Out
You two have goals for your relationship – pick the next immediate goal you have, and talk to her about it. Ask questions, take down notes, make a list or game plan. Few things can beat the feeling that you’re “in this together” with your girlfriend, and work together to make great things happen.
#11: Household Tasks.
After planning comes the grind. Even discussing who does what around the house counts as a conversation, and it helps you show your girlfriend how reliable you are (and vice-versa). This is important – we all need our significant others to be the most reliable persons in our lives.
How to Never Run Out of Things to Talk About
If you’ll notice, you’ll never run out of things to talk about if you share a busy, active, exciting life with your girlfriend – there’s always something new to talk about. Your conversations may not always be interesting, exciting, or meaningful… but they strengthen your relationship nonetheless, and that’s the most important thing!
Just remember: Past, Present, and Future. Always have good stories to tell and inspiring goals to plan… and yes, don’t forget to ask her how her day went!
Some Parting Tips
While you SHOULD be concerned about your girlfriend’s needs, be careful not to get TOO concerned. Many guys make the mistake of prioritizing their girlfriend’s needs and ignoring their own – and this is ultimately bad for the relationship.
Remember, she needs YOU to be in top shape too, both physically and emotionally. So don’t neglect yourself, and don’t give what you don’t have.
Resources & References
Want more information on fun things to talk about with your girlfriend or simply want to talk a look at our sources? Here they are:
- Mapping the topography of couples’ daily conversation – Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by Jess K. Alberts, Christina G. Yoshimura, Michael Rabby, Rose Loschiavo
- An interesting talk by CapstonePublishing on How to Reduce Conflict and Build Better Relationship… this also applies to relationships
- Humor Use in Romantic Relationships: The Effects of Relationship Satisfaction and Pleasant Versus Conflict Situations – The Journal of Psychology, Interdisciplinary and Applied by Bethany Butzer & Nicholas A. Kuiper
- The Secrets of Successful Communication by MarriageToday
Emotion Regulation in Romantic Relationships: The Cognitive Consequences of Concealing Feelings – Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by Jane M. Richards, Emily A. Butler, James J. Gross