I think we need to start from the top. I’ll start level by level and give you the thinking, layer by layer, because when a man is flirting, my brain is firing at multiple levels…
Flirting Is Good Stuff
Level One: When a guy is flirting with me, my overriding feeling — not thought — feeling is that it’s …nice. Especially if he is nice. So I’m coming from a place of joy and feeling validated. When a guy is nice to me it makes me smile and feel good. I like attention, every girl does, even if she doesn’t “need” it, even if she’s involved with someone else, she likes it. It makes her feel warm.
So when any man is paying attention to a girl, she usually likes it no matter what and that glow extends to the person paying the attention.
I’m Nervous…How Am I Doing…No Really…How?
Level Two: I’m also noticing that I’m a little nervous because my ego gets involved and I can’t stop myself from wanting to make a good impression. This wanting to make a good impression is second nature for most people; it just happens even when you don’t want it to. If you think about it, people are pretty self centered…me, me, me and more me.
Who’s liking me, how am I doing, are things going well?
Women are always worried about themselves first. How do I look today? Is this shirt a good color for me? Do I look pale? Did I eat spinach at lunch, is there slimy green residue in my teeth when I smile?
Let’s be honest, when you’re a little nervous, a lot of seriously dumb stuff is going through your head and it can be distracting. Actually sometimes so distracting that I can’t even focus on what the other person is saying, as embarrassing as that is, its true.
Wait…Is He Just Friendly or Is He Really Flirting With Me?
Level Three: My friends and I share this thought when we have a great guy talking to us…it’s that we wonder if he’s just crazy friendly or if he is feeling us out. So this thought is rumbling by too.
Sometimes it’s a jog back and forth between level two and level three in ping pong fashion depending on how much caffeine we have had or the kind of emotional day it’s been.
Keep It Coming
I like it when a man who is flirting with me keeps it going so that I have time to catch up and calm down. It’s cool when he’s willing to slow it down because I’m thinking that sometimes all this brain firing might make it seem like I’m not tracking with him… when I really am and really liking it and want to keep it coming….