Guide To: How To Make A Girl Comfortable When You First Meet Her


Did you ever realize how quickly girls profile guys? It just takes them seconds: this guy’s a player. That one’s the classic “nice guy”, the next one is too full of himself. Let me tell you, all of that is still tolerable, but there’s one type that’s horrible beyond hope: the creep.

Once you’re in that category, you’re done.

A creep is a guy who has no frickin’ clue how to make a girl comfortable!

He behaves like a total dick and literally creeps the ladies out. It’s bad. Really bad. If a creep is an only child, he will extinguish his family’s name for all eternity unless he changes.

I realized how serious this is, and I want to share my knowledge with you today.


Comfortable or creepy?

This is an easy one for me, because I have been there often enough to tell. You are a creep if you do these or similar things…

– give her a lot of flowers after talking to her once
– make explicit sexual remarks to her in front of your common colleagues
– poke her in the sides all the effing time
– hover around her awkwardly for an hour wearing questionable clothes
– get harrowingly wasted and blubber a compliment about her boobs into her boobs

…and if she reacts in these or similar ways:

– avoids your company
– only responds in very short phrases
– never contacts you ever again
– talks to her girlfriends while sending worried glances your way
– runs away

All right, so how do I make her comfortable, you ask? Let’s get to it.

Smile because you’re happy

Don’t be the snarling, growling Clint Eastwood type. Clint can pull it off, you can’t. You actually profit from being genuinely friendly and caring. Give her a smile (see how to make a girl smile) when she deserves it (not to please her! Only when she makes you feel good! And point that out). The point of the smile is to show that you’re a happy, positive guy. If you’re happy then your life must be good…

Don’t you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when somebody smiles at you because they enjoy your company? You feel appreciated. So will she. She will enjoy your company because she craves attention, and you give it to her.

Be comfortable touching her

For the uninitiated, stay the hell away from her breasts. There are actually other perfectly acceptable parts of a woman you can touch early on in an interaction that show that you are comfortable with touching people. The logic behind this is that, if you’re comfortable touching people, then other people must touch you on a regular basis so it’s “Ok”.

– Tell her your name and shake her hand
– Touch her shoulder with the back of your hand when you make a point
– High fives
– Nudge her lightly if she teases you
– Spin her around
– Read our kino article

The way you treat others counts

You can be Mister Awesome with her all night, attentive, funny, intriguing, magnetic. But as soon as you dick around with the waiter, annoy the people at the next table or insult a guy who comes over to hit on her while she’s with you, guess what, you’re done.


Because she will see that your attitude towards her is just a facade. You’re either genuinely positive, or you’re a hypocrite. Nobody wants to be with a hypocrite.

So if a guy comes over from the bar to hit on her, don’t become Mister Territory Alpha Dog. Shake the guy’s hand, be friendly, make him a compliment. He’s a human being, too. He, too, wants to be appreciated. You are not needy. You are not desperate. YOU ARE NOT OUTCOME-DEPENDENT. You give people love because you want to, not because you want them. You are ready to lose her at any point because you know you’re awesome enough to meet more great girls.

When you start appreciating the guy who came to hit on her, there will be a loud voice in her head yelling “What? No! Me! No! Me!” and she’ll want even more of your attention! And the guy will happily leave you two alone when you say “hey, we’re gonna get some privacy now, but let’s stay in touch on Facebook, you’re cool.” Believe you me, your chances will rise exponentially if you concentrate on how to make a girl comfortable with you. Go out and be awesome.

Frequently Asked Questions
How to not look like a threat and make a girl feel comfortable?

By not thinking of yourself as a threat. You project what you think of yourself to others in many ways. In the way you talk, walk, look at people and body language.

Just like when you're learning advance or defensive driving, you're told to steer into a slide and DO NOT LOOK AT THE OBSTACLE! If you fear that tree, and focus on that tree, that's where you're going. Same goes for your attitude toward yourself. The more you worry about being one way (threatening, weak, idiotic, whatever) the more those traits start appearing.

What is Threatening
You also need to understand that what you considering 'bad' about being threatening, is a little misunderstood.
Simply looking threatening has never hurt anyone, and certainly won't scare women away (as long as you deal with it correctly).

You should look threatening, you are dangerous. You are older, bigger, stronger, more confident, and more powerful than any of the boys she sees in her life. That does make her feel a little threatened. But she also can't shake the feeling that she just HAS to know what the intent is behind your menacing eyes when you look at her.
That little sparkle that says "I know exactly what to do with you" does more for her libido than all the bullshit compliments and game the kids are trying on her.

Your issue with being 'threatening' is the same concept as guys who think they can't get laid because they're too short, or black, or too muscly, or name your own self-fucking.
It is in your head. This is your excuse for not having the balls to approach those women that give you the eye. If they are giving you the eye, then it's your job to approach and make this happen.

How to make a girl feel more comfortable?

Stop. Just stop with the "Oh I'm sorry let me qualify this to you." routine. Just ask her out for heavens sake. Nothing less off putting to anyone when you try to back track and look like you have no clue what you're trying to say other "I'm sorry I am weird."

Just say Hey. Hows it going. Strike up a conversation. Mention something fun you are going to do and ask if she wants to join.


If you arn't the best "texter", or what ever that means. Can I assume you have a hard time talking with women in general?


Kids these days need to distance themselves from these online communications. It's a degradation of real communication. What ever happend to walking up to a girl and saying "Hi, I'm so and so and I think your cute, can I buy you a drink?" Or whatever. \*oldmanrant\*

How to make a shy girl relax with me feel herself comfortable?

Well, you can't make another person do something. You'll just have to keep holding up the conversation until she feels comfortable with you. I'm in a similar situation, but after a few dates and lots of sex, she's really opened up in private, in public she's still quiet.

It could be your date is really uncomfortable in public too. Here are some ideas.

1. Figure out what she's really passionate about and then talk about that. This is great for getting people to start talking.

2. Get a few drinks in her. That will usually relax most people. Don't be an ass and try to get her drunk

3. Stop bringing her to crowded bars and restaurants and take her to a quiet park or the beach or a darkish dive bar.

4. Spend a lot of time cuddling and kissing and fucking. This is a way that a lot of shy women get comfortable with a man and will be much more comfortable talking wrapped in your arms after an orgasm. This will translate immediately to outside of the bedroom as well.

5. Find a shared interest to discuss and talk about. Shy people are shy, they're undergoing a torturous experience depending on the level of anxiety to just state an opinion. So if you have some shared interests that they feel safe talking about, it helps build some confidence.

How do i make a girl more comfortable to express herself?

Express yourself to her. Be a good friend.