Just a couple of years ago, I was completely unable to understand when a woman liked me. I remember being at a photographer’s convention: I chatted with this cute photographer, but when I felt it didn’t lead anywhere, I went back to the bar. A friend came up and asked me: “So, did you get that girl’s number?” I answered: “No, she wasn’t interested. Didn’t even smile at me.” My friend was dumbfounded: “Are you dense?! She was completely into you!” I had no idea. Do you know how to tell if a girl likes you? I do now, and I’d like to share it so you don’t have to bomb like I did back then.

So here’s how we’ll do this. First, I’ll give you general pointers – what you should be aware of, how you can practice. Then, I will acquaint you with some of the signs that tell you a woman is interested – obvious ones first, gold nuggets last!

Things to remember

Be aware. This is as general as it gets, and still, it’s incredibly important. If all you focus on is what’s going on inside your head, or your own feelings and reactions when you interact with a girl, then you will never develop a reliable “feel” for the situation, and the beautiful human being you have in front of you.

how to tell if girls like you

So become a good observer. Watch her facial expressions, her movements, her body language, her eyes. Where is she looking? Does she touch you? What does her voice sound like?

To practice this, try being watchful and present every day. Our mind wanders around in the future and the past all the time if we let it. Open your eyes to the world around you: people in the streets, squirrels in the trees, birds flying, the architecture of your city, take it all in. If you want to, let it inspire you to write about it. Even if it’s just a post on your facebook wall. You will notice how mindfulness grows inside you over time.

So, what are the signs that a girl likes you? An easy one first:

She smiles and/or laughs

If a girl smiles happily and laughs at your comments (even if they are completely moronic), that means she enjoys being around you. It’s really basic. If you guys can’t laugh about the same things, forget it. What the heck would you want with a girl who can’t connect to your good feelings?

Obviously, if she gives you an insecure or nervous smile (or laugh), well then you’re being creepy. For the record, you don’t want that.

She plays with her hair

This is an unconscious thing a girl (with long enough hair, so this doesn’t work with Annie Lennox types) will do when she’s absorbed and captivated. It’s a surefire sign of attention. I mean it.

She keeps eye contact

If a girl is not that much into you, her eyes will wander off to what’s happening around. She may even be trying to catch a friend’s eye to give her the “save me” look. So when another girl comes in to take her away, that’s hardly ever a random occurrence. It’s just an elegant way women have to eject from an unpleasant situation without being bitches about it. Deal with it.

She asks questions about you

Why would she want to know more about you if she wasn’t interested? Listen and watch how she poses her questions: if it’s with her eyes wide open, glance fixed on you, with a smile, upbeat intonation, well then she likes you. If it’s a monotonous “yeah, so what do you do?” – sorry buddy, she’s just being polite.

Don’t tell her your life story as soon as she “gives you the chance”. You can respond to her questions in creative ways, for instance:

  • Answer something funny (“I’m a deep water synchronized swimmer and I do choreographed shows with fish”)
  • Refuse to answer (“That’s my secret”, “I could tell you, but then people in black suits would have to come to erase your memory”)
  • Tell her she’s nosey, but you like it.
  • Ask her if she’s trying to hit on you (this is for the more advanced, toy with it if you dare)
  • Only give her a tiny little bit of information and move on

She’s still standing there

Seriously. If she’s still there, she’s still interested in you. Ever occur to you? No? Well, here you go, then. Your bill will be in the mail.

Keep this info, use it for yourself and share it with others. How to tell if a girl likes you makes it so much easier to interact with her. However, a word of warning. Don’t fall into the trap of constantly trying to figure out if she likes you or not! That’s called seeking validation and it will do you more harm than good. Instead, when you pick up on a sign that she likes you, make a note of it and continue having fun. Noticing these little signs will help give you the confidence to escalate the interaction or avoid a surefire disaster!