Just a couple of years ago, I was completely unable to understand when a woman liked me. I remember being at a photographer’s convention: I chatted with this cute photographer, but when I felt it didn’t lead anywhere, I went back to the bar. A friend came up and asked me: “So, did you get that girl’s number?” I answered: “No, she wasn’t interested. Didn’t even smile at me.” My friend was dumbfounded: “Are you dense?! She was completely into you!” I had no idea. Do you know how to tell if a girl likes you? I do now, and I’d like to share it so you don’t have to bomb like I did back then.

So here’s how we’ll do this. First, I’ll give you general pointers – what you should be aware of, how you can practice. Then, I will acquaint you with some of the signs that tell you a woman is interested – obvious ones first, gold nuggets last!

Things to remember

Be aware. This is as general as it gets, and still, it’s incredibly important. If all you focus on is what’s going on inside your head, or your own feelings and reactions when you interact with a girl, then you will never develop a reliable “feel” for the situation, and the beautiful human being you have in front of you.

how to tell if girls like you

So become a good observer. Watch her facial expressions, her movements, her body language, her eyes. Where is she looking? Does she touch you? What does her voice sound like?

To practice this, try being watchful and present every day. Our mind wanders around in the future and the past all the time if we let it. Open your eyes to the world around you: people in the streets, squirrels in the trees, birds flying, the architecture of your city, take it all in. If you want to, let it inspire you to write about it. Even if it’s just a post on your facebook wall. You will notice how mindfulness grows inside you over time.

So, what are the signs that a girl likes you? An easy one first:

She smiles and/or laughs

If a girl smiles happily and laughs at your comments (even if they are completely moronic), that means she enjoys being around you. It’s really basic. If you guys can’t laugh about the same things, forget it. What the heck would you want with a girl who can’t connect to your good feelings?

Obviously, if she gives you an insecure or nervous smile (or laugh), well then you’re being creepy. For the record, you don’t want that.

She plays with her hair

This is an unconscious thing a girl (with long enough hair, so this doesn’t work with Annie Lennox types) will do when she’s absorbed and captivated. It’s a surefire sign of attention. I mean it.

She keeps eye contact

If a girl is not that much into you, her eyes will wander off to what’s happening around. She may even be trying to catch a friend’s eye to give her the “save me” look. So when another girl comes in to take her away, that’s hardly ever a random occurrence. It’s just an elegant way women have to eject from an unpleasant situation without being bitches about it. Deal with it.

She asks questions about you

Why would she want to know more about you if she wasn’t interested? Listen and watch how she poses her questions: if it’s with her eyes wide open, glance fixed on you, with a smile, upbeat intonation, well then she likes you. If it’s a monotonous “yeah, so what do you do?” – sorry buddy, she’s just being polite.

Don’t tell her your life story as soon as she “gives you the chance”. You can respond to her questions in creative ways, for instance:

  • Answer something funny (“I’m a deep water synchronized swimmer and I do choreographed shows with fish”)
  • Refuse to answer (“That’s my secret”, “I could tell you, but then people in black suits would have to come to erase your memory”)
  • Tell her she’s nosey, but you like it.
  • Ask her if she’s trying to hit on you (this is for the more advanced, toy with it if you dare)
  • Only give her a tiny little bit of information and move on

She’s still standing there

Seriously. If she’s still there, she’s still interested in you. Ever occur to you? No? Well, here you go, then. Your bill will be in the mail.

Keep this info, use it for yourself and share it with others. How to tell if a girl likes you makes it so much easier to interact with her. However, a word of warning. Don’t fall into the trap of constantly trying to figure out if she likes you or not! That’s called seeking validation and it will do you more harm than good. Instead, when you pick up on a sign that she likes you, make a note of it and continue having fun. Noticing these little signs will help give you the confidence to escalate the interaction or avoid a surefire disaster!

  • milton

    and when i walk in the room she looks at then she looks away

  • milton

    I like this girl when ever she comes over with my sister she always ask me to rubb her feet when i do we talk alot but she dont look in my eyes she just looks at her cell phone is this a sign she likes me or not?????

  • Jeenclear

    If the girl won’t look straight to your eyes. What it means?

  • Max van Welzen

    Here is my story:
    There is a girl on facebook who asked “Who has an XBox, cause I got one for christmas” Naturally I added her as a friend on XBox Live. Typically whenever I get online she asks me to join a party with her and her sister. Just recently we played Halo Reach together online for around an hour. Next thing I know I check facebook and see 8 notifications all from her, some about liking my statuses and other about commenting on them. Winterfest is coming up so I posted a status asking “Who is going to Winterfest? I am going alone”. She commented on it saying “Me too”. Later I posted a photo I found that had a puppy in the middle of the rain in the street and it said “Forever alone, like if your single”. She commented on it saying “That is how I am feeling right now”.
    So what should I do? Should I give her a sign that I kind of like her so she might go to winterfest with me? I don’t know. Thanks for the help in advance.

  • ?confuzzd?

    We met thru a close friend of mine, they have a history since way back but it was nothing major, but when he introduced us, I felt that kick and from the way she was flirting with me, she must have too (or is a darn good pretender) but with her it always seems like we’re just having fun, like friends with some benefits–nothing serious, yet she at the same time seems possessive and jealous when I become as playful as she is with other men- kinda like she wants me all to herself but can’t do the same herself. I think she likes me but can’t breakthru to a confirmation. any ideas? she’s also very cunning, beats me at my game, i hate this feeling… thanks

  • Chris

    oh when she does come back around she looks at me then looks away

  • Horace

    There’s a lil trick I always use to tell if a girl likes me…when she seems to be asking questions about me as if to assess my ideals, my personal life and what am into…she likes me 😀 and wants to see if she can get along with me.

  • Liliane

    Sorry to break it to you, but the hair thing isn’t a surefire sign of attention. I know I do this a lot when I’m talking to people, and it is usually when I’m only paying attention half-way and instead, am thinking about something completely different from what is going on in the conversation…

  • Omar

    So I met this beautiful chuck with a big ass n pretty face
    U know….n we text a every now n again since we met
    But I get so nerve as to what to say. Only with
    Fine chicks do I lose my cool. I need help on what to
    Say to keep her interested. We only text.

  • Jshy

    I can not really tell if this girl in one of my classes likes me, i also like her. I noticed that she played with her hair a lot she kept good eye contact when we talked. We also have brief conversations about sports and school, but i feel its me doing most of the question asking. Also i really do not know how to approach her outside of class like i know she probably would not mind but i just have nothing to talk about even though i want to. Im not good with conversations and holding them but its hard to tell with her. I need some advice on what i can do and not put myself in akward situation.

  • CHubby

    You’re right. She also didn’t want me to feel that i was the only person who interested in the conversation because she was too. Indeed, it made a lot of sense now. Thanks

  • The Bright Side

    That means she is interested enough in the conversation to keep it going. I’d consider that a good sign. She can always say “all right, I’m getting a drink” instead and leave. Right?

  • CHubby

    What if the girl asks us questions only to break the awkward moment. Does that count ???