It’s late at night and you’re sitting in front of the computer, trying to figure out that magic technique that’s going to make you improve with women beyond your wildest dreams. There must be something out there, because you’ve seen others enjoy amazing success with women.
Yes it’s possible, and I won’t lie to you, we aren’t all born that way.
Some of us are born and raised with all the right qualities that make us attractive to women… and for some of us, we have to work at it.
The beauty is, there is a path to get to wherever you want to go. Whatever objective you set for yourself, there is a way to get there.
Even if you’re never been out before, never kissed a girl and you hyperventilate when you get into awkward situations, there is a path that will get you to where you want to go. The trick, and this is really the key, is to know where you want to go.
So let’s map out a typical, a few random objectives that might appeal to you.
Your situation: You are unhealthy, unattractive, and suffer from social anxiety
You want: To be the life of the party when you go out with friends
Path: Changing your personality won’t happen overnight, but the first thing we could do is start with the basics.
If you’re unhealthy, then you need to access WHY you are unhealthy.
Are you lacking physical activity? Visit http://www.reddit.com/r/fitness/
Are you over eating or not eating healthy? Visit http://www.drmercola.com
Do you have skin blemishes? Visit http://www.acne.org/messageboard/forum/16-diet-holistic-health/
Or maybe you have a simple reason for the lack of health, in which case you might just need a good enough reason to make some changes to you life. Maybe you’re getting 6 hours of sleep and you know you should get more… but you really have no reason to. Setting a goal and an objective will help you. When life gets tough, we got you covered in our how to keep going article.
Your New Look
Now that we’ve covered health, let’s tackle appearance. Usually appearance is a reflection of our health, style and personality… so by becoming healthier, you are already improving your appearance. The path to a better appearance, oddly enough, is to work at it. Do you have a mole that you dislike? Get it removed! Do you have a haircut that you dislike? Get a new one (and from someone that knows what they are doing!) Do you dislike your current clothes? Get some new clothes!
More often than not, it really is that simple. You just have to work at it. Our society is hypocritical in the sense that “good looking” people tend to get treated better… but if you try to look good, you’re categorized as vain and superficial! It’s as if the world wants you to look great without trying.
I’m sorry, but in order to have a good appearance, you gotta work at it!
Fortunately, the more you DO work at it, the better the results will be. The problem is that most men don’t have a clue what to do in order to look good!
Well, here’s a few quick tips off the top of my head:
Pick a hairstyle that suits you, and then make sure it’s perfect. It’s normal for people to go through a dozen different hair ‘looks’ before they find one that really works for them. That’s normal! Don’t be afraid to change it up until you find something you like. If you’ve never tried different styles, how do you know they aren’t for you? Usually, you’ll know when you find the right one.
Simple things like washing your hair with good hair products (I try to avoid toxic products in my shampoo), using high quality hair products and placing your hair before you leave in the morning…. these are SMALL things you can do, but they eventually add up to make a difference.
Experiment With Clothes
Clothes! You might not know what to wear.. and that’s fine. Once again, experimentation is key. If you’re lost, then there are two things you should do. First, find someone with a good sense of style (not a family member) and go shopping with them. They’ll have good advice that you might not expect. Second, go to stylish stores. Even though they are more expensive, they usually have nicer clothes as well. Once you KNOW what to look for in nice clothes, you can find the occasional bargain that looks good. Read the how to look good for men article for more information.
Finally, and most importantly, you want to be the life of the party.
For this, you’ll need to become more social and have stories to talk about. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to travel! Traveling does two things at once…. it forces you to talk to people during your trip and gives you a ton of amazing stories. What’s more is… traveling doesn’t need to be far or expensive. Go to a nearby country city and look up couch surfing for free place to stay.
It will cost you food, bus/train… and that’s it! You’ll have more than a handful of stories, adventures and when you come back, you will be a changed man!
Will being more nice kind and generous improve a man's success with women?
If niceness comes from a place of strength it works in your favor. If it comes from a weakness (for example fears confrontation) it's negative. The first would be called charismatic, the later self denying.
And this whole talk about niceness is so stupid. People often conflate self assertive behavior with asshole behavior and self denying as nice while it's doormat shit. Meeting the niceness threshold is hella easy, virtually NO one is such an asshole that he isn't nice enough for a woman.
Who else here communicates with all women to improve your game speaking skills?
That's exactly the thing to do but I find that I just can't not go below a certain threshold (< HB5) because they just disgust me.
I've been working on myself and can say that for a certain older, fatter group of women, I am absolutely fucking man candy. Some how women over 200lbs are fucking automatically attracted to me like flies. I can literally see the gravitational pull happening in their eyes.
The other night I was walking down and aisle at the grocery store and this women pushing a cart the other way, took one look at me, got all red and flushed turn her cart the other way, thought about it, then turned her cart back towards me, smiled and blushed then walked the down the aisle towards me never taking her eyes off me. When she had passed me, I looked behind me and she was looking my ass with wide, thirsty eyes. I'm not making that up and not exaggerating. Of course, I couldn't approach her because she was so fat that I felt absolute revulsion about being anywhere near her. Even if I forced myself, I know my penis would have refused to function as a self preservation mechanism.
Also, opening lines are great but they are a crutch. At some point, I got beyond opening lines and it works so much better. Remember, that girl you're using a line on has heard that line or some variation since she was 11. Once you use a line, you're automatically grouped in with every unattractive, slimy fucker that has tried to manipulate her into being used like a rag doll.
Women with social anxiety did your social skills naturally improve over time?
I'm 32 and my social skills have gotten much better. I am able to "fake it" enough to do my job and function in society. Sometimes confidence comes with age. When you have more life experience, you can relate better to others and you have more to talk about. That said, while you're young, make sure that the people you are friends with are encouraging and don't make you feel bad about your anxiety. The thing that has helped me most in the last 2 years is finally making friends who accept me and don't pressure me to change. That has given me the most confidence out of everything.