Asking A girl out

If I told you how to ask a girl out on a date and have her say “yes” every time, would you want to know what I said? Probably, so I’m about to share with you what took years of trial and error to figure out: It’s not about the activity you’re inviting her out to do, but rather it’s all about how much fun she thinks she’ll have when she’s with you.

To sum it up, if follow these ways to demonstrate that you’re an attractive and fun guy to hang out with, she’ll be happy to go out with you even if she already has plans!

The Process of Asking A Women Out

There is only one reason why women will go out with men that boldly ask them out: for fun. When you go out on a date, it’s to enjoy yourself. So when you’re approaching the girl in question, if she gets the sense that you’re too serious, boring or socially awkward, anything you invite her to will naturally mean that it will be an unpleasant experience for her.


That’s why, when you meet a girl, you need to immediately have a good time with her.

There should be smiles, laughter, teasing and a playful attitude right from the start. From the second you meet, you want to have fun together. So instead of “trying to get to know someone” immediately after you meet them, you should instead concentrate on having an enjoyable time with them. Don’t worry too much about getting to know them because as you spend time with them, it will naturally come up.

Why most guys fail to get a date

Even though you might be confident, successful and fearless when it comes to approaching strangers, if you immediately dive into serious questions and try to “make them your girlfriend“. Red flags will appear in her mind and she’ll put you in the “he’s too serious” category.

Avoid this!

Does that mean that you shouldn’t discuss topics of work, school, age, (interview type questions!)? Of course you can, but very briefly! If she really wants to talk about them, you can answer her questions briefly and then suggest that you talk about them later… and then switch to a different, more interesting topic.

Make anything exciting

Keeping in mind that what we’re trying to achieve is to have a good time (for ourselves!) and demonstrate you’re a fun person to spend time with, you want to be able to make any topic of conversation entertaining. Take note: There is no perfect topic of conversation! So don’t go looking for it! Instead, talking about a movie you saw last night or even about your weekend plans will do just fine.

When you bring up these topics, talk about them with emotion and give your own personal reactions along the way. How you felt about the evening is more important than the evening itself!

Bad Example:
“We went out to an Irish Pub last night, there was a great band”

Good Example:
“I was excited to go out last night, so we went to a new Irish Pub. When I walked in, I was so surprised, couldn’t believe my eyes, it felt like I was in Ireland again. There was so much drunken energy there, I could feel it pulsating withing me as the band played. Oh yeah, I thought they were amazing… so much so that I sang at the top of my lungs as they played my favorite songs.”

Did I mention that when you talk about how you feel, you automatically have a LOT more to say about any topic. From these two stories alone, which kind of person would you want to hang out with? I’d choose the guy that seemed to have the time of his life on the weekend, and I’ll bet that the girl you’re asking out would choose the same.

Plan the logistics of the date in advance

If you want to ask a girl out, then it really helps to get this specific piece of information early on in the conversation: “What she’s up to this evening and what her schedule is like in the upcoming days.” This is pretty easy to ask early on in an interaction when you’ve just met a person and you’re getting to know them.

Just say: “So what are you up to these days?”

And listen.

She’ll tell you exactly when she’s available to do something with you, what she could potentially like to do and you might even get an interesting topic of conversation out of it! For instance, if she tells you that she’s going to do groceries, clean a little and then watch television… that’s the perfect opportunity to set up a date where you cook for her and then you watch TV together.

The trick is: Go with the flow! Even though it’s possible to make her break her plans to hang out with you, you’re just making things more difficult for yourself! If you know she’s not doing anything that evening, then invite her out! However, you’ll usually want to give her 3-4 hours to get “ready” (yes, I said 3-4 hours, women take time to get ready for a date!)

It’s your duty to ask her out

Take it upon yourself to be the man and ask her out instead of waiting for her to do it. If she feels that you’re a fun guy to be with, you’re comfortable and she has a good feeling about you, then you’re almost guaranteed a resounding “Yes” if you ask her out. Think of a date as just the next logical step in your interaction together.

Finally, remember that the secret key to how to ask a girl out is to make sure that she’s going to accept before you even ask her. If you’ve asked the right questions, you should already know when she’s available, what she’d really like to do with you and then it’s up to you to suggest it! If you’re still wondering how to get to the point where she really wants to go out with you, then I recommend reading Double Your Dating, it’s really the best starting point for guys.

You’ll be asking girls out in no time!

  • Paul

    She love me because i’m hairy but she has guys, is it a good love

  • Isaac

    This girl I like told me I was cute is that a good thing?????

  • Hellboy

    I am 20 years old and most of the articles i have read have been really useful . What seems to happen is that all the girls i date are really attracted to me on first few dates and then it just fizzels out to nothing. Im sick of just having meaningless sex i want to find a girl friend who is loyal and who i can just be myself around not always have to worry about all of these tips. I find sometimes you need to decide when the whole game ends and when u drop your guard.Once a girl i dated a few times texted me you are the most amazing guy i have met looks and personality wise , being so induced in playing the game i simply said thanks ,instead of saying you are amazing too,that proved to be the end and i was crazey about this girl. What i have concluded is that yes these articles will help pick up girls but when it comes to finding a true girlfriend you have got to leave it to fate and become yourself. At the moment i have found a girl that i really like although i have only met her once ,im going to use a few of the tips i have learned and allow her to decide where she wants to go instead of pressuring her into seeing me and liking me. One last thing is never to get highly involved in texting when you want express your feeling do it by calling her or face to face.

  • Wi53Rnow

    Had to bookmark this, amazingly practical, you’re so good at this!!!
    “Wiser now”

  • Mr. Brown

    Great tips im really shocked I was missing it all along. Your tips are top notch im never going to be nice to a girl again. Im not gonna be a jerk but I wont be nice.

  • Wenis

    okay, guys, hey, im a girl. and this rite here is just a whole bunch of bs. if you want it from a girls point of view…
    * dont be a stalker.. its a turn off.
    * women like it when your a little messy! its cute!

  • Rich

    @ Anon

    You probably hear / read this everywhere, but if you don’t ask her, you’ll never know. And if you do nothing now, you’ll probably regret it later in life. Self-confidence is just that – how confident you are about yourself. She might not care about any of those thngs, she might really like you for who you are. In fact, I think she’ll respect you a hell of a lot more if you ask her, even if she says no.

    And if she does say no, you can hold your head up high and know that at least you asked. She might prefer to just stay friends, and if so, it’s better to have her in your life that way than not at all.

  • Anon

    Ok here’s my situation. I live is a small country town with maybe about 50 people, theres a girl i really like here and we get along great, share similar interests etc. Problem is i have very little to no self confidence (being slightly overweight and acne doesnt help this). I want nothing more than to be with her and to tell her how i really feel but i am absolutely terrified of rejection. Please help!

  • David

    so…this girl liked me for like 2 years. Few days ago, i heard that she went out with someone. I told her about my feelings for her on aim, she just said that she wanted us to stay friends. not sure if she still likes me

  • Ron

    I’ve always had the mistake of equating being a gentleman to being a wuss.

    I’ve learned that it’s not the same. Politeness does NOT mean you act like a wuss, too.

    My point is, you don’t ask permission to speak to them to appear like a gentleman. If you want to avoid offending them, stop being a wuss.

  • Ron

    @Mike: Not that she’s shallow or anything, it’s just that your approach is not tight nor does it convey confidence and fun.

    I suggest you say something like, “Hey, I’m going to _____ this Saturday. You look like someone who could use some time off. I suggest you join me. Don’t worry, I’ll only charge you when you turn out to be as bland as my sister’s apple pie.” Or something like that. This shows that you’ll have fun whether or not she’ll join you.

    One line that has never failed me is, “Hey, I’m going out to get ice cream and it’s going to be your treat. Don’t worry, I’ll get two so you can also try.”

    They always, always say, “No, it’s going to be YOUR treat.”
    I take it that we’re going out to get ice cream. 😉

  • Alex

    PHL, you should never EVER try to initiate a conversation by asking that. If you want to talk to the girl, then just start TALKING. This article is good in explaining that it’s best to be the fun guy that everybody wants to be with. I went out with a girl i just met last week, and of course, we were fell into that inevitable awkward silence. Fortunately for me, I came prepared and began telling her about the harrowing ski trip i had a couple months ago. Don’t have anything exciting to talk about? Then get out there and live so you’ll have some stories to tell!

  • PHL

    Some girls do not even answer when I greet them. They stare with suspicious eyes and say nothing or only nod to my greeting. One girl even said “WHY?” and promptly walked away when I greeted her and asked if we could have a moment of conversation.

  • PHL

    What you say is nice, but what if the girl is a stranger to you and does not even give you a chance to show how fun you can be?
    Should your first thing after greeting her be to make a joke ? Should you not ask about her e.g. if she is in a certain school ?
    Because here in Buea, Cameroon , girls react in diferent ways.

  • MikE

    asked a girl out recently in-person, she said:
    “Sure! let me just check my sched on the weekend. i’ll text you tomorrow.”
    3 days went by and it’s friday the next day. no text. so i asked her about friday.

    “i can’t cuz im going with my aunt and uncle to the groceries”

    i think this chick is just too shallow or dishonest.

  • lokks

    hd: but i met her online, so she gave me her number when i asked for it, know her only because of some friends she used to hang out with..
    my intentions when i asked her out were to have met her.

  • Burn

    Yes… I do agree that sometimes, guys have to do all the asking.. the handwork etc.
    But,all the paying?
    i don’t think so.
    Have fun with women when you went out with them.
    Don’t pay for their meal etc.
    Make sure they pay for themselves.
    If they ask you about it, tease her..
    Mind you, things will go different or rather better in your relationship with this new girl.
    We, Men, don’t have to pay stuff for women.
    you don’t even need to spend your money on them except yourself.(in your first few interaction with this new girl).

    I went out with a girlfriend of mine to join our friends.(we met for the first time after many years)
    She did ask me to get her a drink.
    I get one for Us and also to cover the transport fares she paid for. Another round of drink for accompanying me earlier.

    She did ask me for more drinks, but all I told her is “Go get some Guys to buy you drinks”.
    Eventually she did..
    But after all the fun we all had, eventually she goes back home with me in my arms, well after rejecting a proposal from another guy who wanna bring her home.

    You can get what I am trying to say here…=)

  • Steve

    Well it sucks, the guy still has to do all the asking. And all the paying too? It is strange that women have working rights pretty much like men, yet they should be treated special? I don’t think so. I am not criticizing the article, just we should progress with equalizing. Women fought to get equal, not special treatment.

  • bobby

    why do guys have to do All the hardwork huh, somebody tell me. This boggles the mind man.
    Its crazy I tell you.

  • hd

    “i asked this girl out today, but her response was “Haha I don’t know??? YET” when i read this i took it as a maybe and that i hadn’t convince her or given her a good reason why we should hang out. How can i get better or what to say to convince her to go out w/ me, with her responding yes rather than “I don’t know”???”

    The first problem i see with this is that you say when “i read this” and the “HaHa I don’t know??? YET” is text’ing language. NEVER ask a girl out over text’ing or email. If you want to go out with a girl grow some balls and ask her in person!

  • adu

    i want to get a girlfriend and I’m a Ghanaian and i think I’m in love with a white girl because i was meant to live with a white lady not because of her color?

  • lokks

    i asked this girl out today, but her response was “HAha idk??? YET” when i read this i took it as a maybe and that i hadn’t convince her or given her a good reason y we should hang out. how can i get better or what to say to convince her to go out w/ me, with her responding yes rather than “idk”???

  • Jesse Charger

    Exactly right, you can’t wait around for a girl to ask you out. You have to man up and take action – that’s what being a man is all about.