You look at her – the way her lips move when she speaks, the way her laugh sounds so joyous. That one special girl that’s always been different from all the others, the one that, you just know, will make everything all right if you could just be with her.

But how?

What can you do to end up with her?

It is this question that gets most people off their butts and start looking at how to be good with women. They want that special girl. The answer to their perceived problem though is not a simply cut one; to be good with a specific woman, you must be good with women in general. Getting the woman you want means you must know how to interact with women as a whole and know how to get them attracted to you, and getting good with women in general often means becoming a lot more willing to meet and explore new girls. In order to succeed with that one special girl, you must interact with other girls first.

the one model

Here’s a question to ask yourself:

If you had the ability to connect with any woman in the world, to be able to hook up or be in a relationship with any girl, would you still feel the same way about this girl?

Is She The One?

Answer yourself very honestly. Chances are that you would want to look around and see what’s out there. The desire for that “one special girl” comes from a scarcity mentality, the belief that there is a limited pool of women out there who are nice to you, who like you and are attracted to you. Whenever you become attracted to a woman, your ego seizes the emotion and raises her up to be “the one”.

From a young age, we are taught that “true love conquers all” and that each and every one of us will find the girl that “completes” us. We are also taught that unless we are completed by our soulmate, our lives just aren’t worth as much. It’s no wonder that so many men go into every interaction looking to find their soulmate. The truth of the matter is that there is no “one”. You will have amazing times with them one night and nights where you are feeling at your lowest with them on others… and this will continue till your dying day. Look to have fun with them without looking to “complete yourself”.

What You Should Do

Now, you might go an meet a lot of women and get to know them intimately and still decide that your original crush has more potential than these women. If you still want to try and get her, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Don’t treat her differently. A lot of men have the tendency to have “game” or a method that consistently attracts women, yet chuck it all out the window when they meet a girl “they actually like”. Seems rather counter-intuitive, doesn’t it – stop doing what’s been working so well for you so far to attract the girl you like more.
  • Stop caring so much. Your life is not over because she doesn’t want you. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who are dying to meet you. There is no small pool out there – every woman is capable of loving and being loved by you. It may seem a bit Zen but only when you give up the desire for her will you actually stand to get her.
  • Be a man. Hold onto your integrity. Too many people will change who they are to attract the woman they want. What you have to realize is that what a woman says she wants is not necessarily what she wants. She wants a man who she is free to be a woman around, a man who will protect her and be strong around her. To find that man, she will constantly test you, from asking you to do something excessive to acting bitchy towards you. React in the way you deem to be true to yourself – don’t act simply to gain her approval.

There are many reasons as to why men chase their elusive special girl. Yet, by placing her on a pedestal and giving her so much value, they are in reality limiting any chance they have. Adopt a philosophy of abundance – see your options as limitless and find the beauty in each individual soul. It is in this way that you truly solve the problem of that one special girl – by never having to worry about it again.

  • innocent kwatakawe

    guys i really support and appriciate the work you doing thanks

  • Duane

    This is so true, it’s not even funny. There is this girl at my job that I feel the exact same way about and this just made me realize everything I have been doing with her is wrong since I feel like she is the woman that completes me and would be best suited for me. I am now going back to my old ways of not caring if a female liked me or not and see what happens since if she doesn’t fall for me, some other woman just as good or better than her will.